My Blog

On a perfect day

Akasha013 — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 16:28:43 GMT

Callously Invoke. Remain in the highest integrity. Se said "direct these stories of things you would hardly believe, yet they have witnesed the entire thing" Swimming through through carpet covered waters through tables and chairs. Humanity hatred. Manufacture a blatanty false manuscript make it a crime to read the bible a certain way, a certain way on a perfect day. While the witch is in the waiting room. Skillful, fresh, soulful. Bootlegging worldwide deep in green and she left her purse with me. My dearest Annie, remember looking in the dresser after the disaster. TODAY no fear, unhealthy on the former premesis. Racist fimlmakers promoting a rainy city promoting anti gay propaganda precarious stories of things you would hardly believe. This perfect humanity, infinity. Then a woman supercharged... up... supersized...chromosome fermentation. She was watching Hapkito Ballet. Still, quiet music. TRUST ME. Rememberance of old times trying to see the silver future and so forth. It's not there. Release with the breeze. Rhyme in the silence. She waited until she could speak then fell down laughing, preaching. BLESS US with outstanding soulful selections of electronic music on gods wings..Mother who wore a pastel gauze walked to the cellar. I knew the time had come to let it go. You and I however, You and I are not the average security monkeys on a string Are we.

stream of consciousnessss + some spambot words

Akasha013 — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 16:13:52 GMT

His deafness has been of great advantage to him in various ways when many hearts with woe and lamentation It was easier going on the open road than towards the mountains. Others huddled on bench seats or sought shelter against walls and counters covering them selves with clothing, luggage and their other children. He brushed frantically at his face sense came back into his terrified maddened gaze.Deception among it's other sorrows as surely as Lazuraus is with me I will remain with you with whose history you are now aquainted.

Something hanging in my kitchen

Akasha013 — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:07:58 GMT

It's been there for years

collage for them, who remain unknown

Akasha013 — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:02:36 GMT

Her and her child

I usually read these for fun but...

Akasha013 — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 04:57:49 GMT

My horoscope said this today. I have a lot of experiences with the supernatural and have seen, heard things that are not visible to others. I wonder if it's going to happen again. It's not happened in a long time, for maybe 6 months or so. Although you may have strong spiritual beliefs, you don't take kindly to being pushed into non-physical realms. You are more comfortable when you can see exactly what is happening. It's why you can accomplish so much. Today, however, a strange wind blows up weird debris from your own imagination. Pay attention to it, whether or not it makes any sense. I really need some strong winds and strange debris to come up from my imagination.

For my Father

Akasha013 — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 20:03:12 GMT

Do not search for him in flields of clay. His spirit has not changed, now that he is free of mortal coil and temporal earthly bonds. Look up and see his light among the stars. when you don't hear his voice upon the breeze, nor taste his tears in gently falling rain that is when he rests above the universe.

Cry

Akasha013 — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:27:59 GMT

She Said she usually cried at least once a day. Not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful and life was so short. Brian Andras

Very wierd dream

Akasha013 — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 17:13:56 GMT

July 21 2007 Dream I dreamt that me and my children were in a prison or some kind of a camp I think the youngest was Mandi or Kristopher The only way I could see Him because I think it ws Kristopher was during this type of visiting hours. I would cry every time I saw him and we would hug and talk he turned into A young black girl later on like he grew up and was a pretty black girl We still had to visit like this and the place was full of children and families All separated and put into rooms of this old deserted house. It was like We were in prison things were rationed out, food, clothing, other things too, pills for some people, some people got drugs or alcohol. When I went to visit the girl again she told me not to worry because she had been saving all these rations in a hold in the wall where a piece of wood was loose. There were no real reinforcements to keep people there, the door stood open all the time and you could see the street. She showed me clothing, little pieces of makeup and food. Then the dream changed, and there was a big room which reminded me of a church community room or something only more modern very clean and fresh looking and new with plush couches and white tables with comfortable chairs around them A man was giving instructions on how to cook a base that we could use with any kind of mean we were cooking. I remember there were plants and beans and vegetables, no meat at all, we mashed this up and he said it will be thick at first after I got mine mixed up it looked like it was not that much not as much as I had started with. Then I was going down the stairwell with some adults and some teenage kids. There was going to be a contest and we had to get all the marijuana we could find and take it to the conference room. We headed out of the house or building were we had lived for a long time and went to other buildings to tell people to come and bring this stuff. I ended up walking with a really dirty guy who had bare feet and a long dirty coat his feet had hair on them like a dog and were shaped like digs feet. We walked uphill and it was really steep and I had to stop at someones house to pick up their weed. I got it and me and this dirty wolf man walked arm in arm up the hill and back to the house where we had been staying. I went inside and upstairs and everyone was weighing the bags out on this scale but it was not digital it was white with a small needle on it. I didn’t know how to do it so I asked a girl there is she would do it. We weighed it and it was 13 pounds and we wrote it on a sheet lined so that everyone could put their name, the type of weed, how much it weighed so it could be judged and then I went into the big churchlike room where they had taught cooking previously and took the weed in there. Before I went in, a girl picked up something small and yellow and tried to hand it to me but it was just paper, then later she gave me a envelope with a pill in it and I knew it was good and I smiled and she smiled at me too I had the pill hidden in my hand but I dropped it behind my back because I was trying to hide it then I woke up and thought I would have to find it in the covers in my bed and realized I was awake. End I don't like pot and don't do drungs except what is prescribed to me. I don't get it Sorry for the mispelling and typos

Another fragmented dream

Akasha013 — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 17:12:16 GMT

I don’t’ know why writing a dream down is so much trouble. There was a man with a cow a bunch of college students sitting on rocks with fish Dancing on the rocks some of them could not breathe and I pushed them back in the water I called them morons Mom was in the dream her eyes were different they were really Green and she was wearing these pretty 60’s style dresses and getting really excited about How she looked and I noticed that maybe it was a man who was coming over I told her that her eyes were different and she said it Was called green something like it was An eye shadow but she didn’t have any eye shadow on. I told her she looked happy I took pictures of people everywhere and they took pictures of me too. There is more but now I can’t remember.

Henry Rollins

Akasha013 — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 17:10:06 GMT

I have been draggin my past with me like it's a dying comrade and we're trying to make it back to the beach after a mission gone terribly wrong. That was my youth. Like the Bay of Pigs A piece of shit mission. Everyone knew it when they went out on that one and I know it when I went out on mine. A bad mission. Old maps, faulty intelligence, no clear objective. Years after it was over, I blamed others for what it wasn't and what it could have been. At the tmie, I didn't think to blame anyone. One of the blindsides of youth is that you don't value that which is in great abundance and can't imagine things being any other way. Youre only aware of what was, rarely of what is. It's a waster of time to blame others for anything. I should have seen it coming or dealt with it properly the first time. It's why some people kill thier parents. Your father fucked you up? Is he still alive? Why don't you break his neck? Yyou could stab him so many times your pass out from exhaustion over his dead body and slip in his blood when you finally left the scene. YOu could exterminate him from your thoughts, hes as good as dead and you don't do time. I had to do this with memories of my youth at a time when most of my life was ahead of me and not behind me as it is now. I had to hack it's fingers off, it held on hard. Now it's all over with. A lot of things are over with. One could say that when something comes to an end, it's only the beginning. That may be true if you play with crystals and worship the moon. For me it's always been about the mission and when it's over it's death until the next one starts. I don't need love I don't need friends. I need the next thing. I need the next reason to keep living. For a long time now I have been in maintenance mode. I fee it and keep it in shape sot it can deliver as well as expectied with the accumulated wear and tear now being a performance factor. Ecery day, I get rid of something, Everyday I terminate a memory. Every day I throw something out. The less I have the less has me. the mission was bitched from the start. Thats why I took it. It's a why bad end missions get taken all the time. The last thing you want to do is come back. The last thing you can do is come back You can come back and live in the lie you have created for yourself, the lie that immediately surrounds you upon missions end. I lived it for some time. Damn near killed me . I acknowledge zero community, zero peer group. A lot of people I know have died. Some had it coming, some were old some had bad luck, When some of them went, it hurt. It hurt badly and long. I realized that the hurt was from holding on.

mugwort and chamomile

Akasha013 — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 00:02:06 GMT

I love this tea. I grow my own herbs and night before last I had a cup of my homegrown mixture. I asked for a dream in reference to this message that keeps coming to me the message is “Jesus said if you bring forth what is within you what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you What you do not bring forth Will destroy you. I had a note on the wall in the kitchen written with these words then took them down now I find it everywhere I look even in places that do not pertain to jesus or the message. When I slept I had this face above me waking me up every hour or so and I could ot hear what this face was saying to me. I wanted to hear it and almost felt like it was so far away. This person was not male or female but just a person. I woke up about 5 times during the night with this and when I was up for the day at 7am I kept getting this nagging feeling about it and still could not remember the message. It's so frustrating.

dream by the ocean

Akasha013 — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 14:43:57 GMT

I was traveling with a very large man he was showing me the way to somewhere and for some wierd reason I felt like it was West Virginia but we were walking along the beach and it went on for miles as we walked we met some fishermen and just random people..I wanted a sharks tooth that had washed up on the beach there were a lot of them, I wanted it for my son who loves those things and the whole time I was thinking how Kristopher would love being here with all the animal life....anyway, me and this big man who was very nordic looking...he was rushing me down the beach like we had to be somewhere soon but I wanted to go slowly and look at everything at one point I touched a conch shell and it because alive and pliable and when I touched it it kind of giggled and laughed like I had tickled it, then while I was rushing with this man I passed a girl who said "you stepped on a sea slug!....on it was dead anyway..". We just kept going and going passing these animals and interesting people but I was being rushed like we had to be somewhere soon. Thats all I remember now.

again..at night.

Akasha013 — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 20:11:58 GMT

I was raped when I was 13. That is how I lost my virginity. Last night I was thinking about it because a person I knew from school saw me and mentioned the person who raped me. I was sort of replaying the whole awful thing in my head while I was lying in bed. I don't usually think about this and dwell on it but I started to cry thining about how no one helped me not even my parents who knew what happened and I was just a kid, the room was dark but I have this little night light next to my bed which was off I had my eyes closed but I felt a light in front of my face, I opened my eyes and that little night light was on! It came on by itself then all of the sudden I felt like someone was there with me I almost thought I saw a figure there it had to be my best friend Michael or my Grandfather because I know they are watching over me. It was really comforting and I left the light on the whole night. It made me feel alot better.

~!~

Akasha013 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 14:17:34 GMT

Yesterday was a bad day. I just couldn't snap out of the funk I was in . I just wanted to zone out and stare at the wall and listen to The Orb. I did that too for some of the day ended up staying up all night again and I for some reason don't feel tired like I should be. At least I dont' feel like crying or killing someone. It's really shitty, those days. I have been obsessed with trees and symbols for trees I ended making a mandala type thing that symbolizes the life~death~life cycle in all of the universe. I created my own symbols and used some traditional symbols. I am still working on it. I loaned my scanner out and never got it back so don't have any way to really upload it here.

lost babies

Akasha013 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 14:10:51 GMT

I was with my friends Mike and Tonya and I dream about them quite frequently..anyway, I was switching between two different people in this dream for a while I was a man having a baby then I was a participant in the event helping and whatnot. Mike and Tonya were there too and they were also parents to this baby, the baby was not so much the focus of the dream but the care of babies. There was an old woman who was really hateful that I was taking care of during this dream and then we were all driving around looking for carseats on the side of the street because we could tell then that a baby had been stolen. We would gather the carseats as evidence in order to find the baby.

Feeling wierd

Akasha013 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 14:06:19 GMT

I have had some dreams lately, one was of a moire warrior who had been defeated in battle he and his comrade were taken captive and they had to choose which one of them would be the sacrifice. The strongest of the two had volunteered and he began a ritual for dying. He had tatoos down each of his toes in squares and lines and was rubbing oil into his feet he explained that this was the only thing holding him in this world and this kept him from fading away and losing his soul

I have really not that much to say at this time

Akasha013 — Sat, 25 Mar 2006 09:40:02 GMT

Just got off work. It's 4:37am. Kind of tired but not. I humiliated myself again and I am trying to get over that. I saw a girlfight at work and felt bad for the girl who got beat up. It was sad because she got her tooth knocked out and her back was bleeding. She is not really a bad person. I work in a bar and this happens occasionally but it's usually guys fighting. I really hate fighting. A lot. I am a bartender so I get to tell people when they can't drink anymore and to get the fuck out of the bar. That part is kinda fun. :-)