Dreams....Pleasure.....Pain......

not posting...

DeerSlayer — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 08:47:29 GMT

just in case you are a friend or a co-hort... and stumble upon this site... I occasionally use it to read a few groups I'm on... but don't use it for much else... and all of the messages for some reason are read by my mail program as spam... so if ya want to keep up...or connect use my MS, Xanga, or LJ... or write me on my main e-ddy ;)

Reality Check...

DeerSlayer — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:55:43 GMT

Stolen from SD on MS...who stole it from another... neither knew where it came from... but it gives words that are oft times needed. A time comes in your life when you finally get it.....When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change… or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you - and in the process a sense of serenity is born of this acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are.. and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave; how you should look and how much you should weigh; what you should wear and where you should shop; and what you should drive; how and where you should live; and what you should do for a living; who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage; the importance of having and raising children; or what you owe your parents. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing - and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love...and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms...just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch...and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer you prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most prima state-the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to try building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than you heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

Sometimes we just gotta see it in "print"

DeerSlayer — Tue, 01 May 2007 00:32:18 GMT

Optimist Creed Promise Yourself - To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. -Optimist International

Square-ish in my Round-ish-ness

DeerSlayer — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 01:49:55 GMT

another by e e cummings it is at moments after i have dreamed it is at moments after i have dreamed of the rare entertainment of your eyes, when (being fool to fancy) i have deemed with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise; at moments when the glassy darkness holds the genuine apparition of your smile (it was through tears always)and silence moulds such strangeness as was mine a little while; moments when my once more illustrious arms are filled with fascination, when my breast wears the intolerant brightness of your charms: one pierced moment whiter than the rest -turning from the tremendous lie of sleep i watch the roses of the day grow deep

poem by e e cummings

DeerSlayer — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 00:17:00 GMT

i like my body when it is with your i like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite a new thing. Muscles better and nerves more. i like your body. i like what it does, i like its hows. i like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling -firm-smooth ness and which i will again and again and again kiss, i like kissing this and that of you, i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs, and possibly i like the thrill of under me you quite so new

Alive...

DeerSlayer — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 00:15:36 GMT

My brakes went out on the way to work this morning... ;) drove down to my mechanic... had them fixed... no accidents... no bumps... ;) sometimes I amaze myself...

Sheep poetry...

DeerSlayer — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 04:58:54 GMT

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/sheep

New Job...

DeerSlayer — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 04:47:59 GMT

Started Friday the 13th... Admin Assist to a Financial Planner doing well!

Texas considering Dog Ban Bill April 4

DeerSlayer — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 02:00:02 GMT

Someone sent me a bulletin on the California SB 891 which allows all municipalities to ban or require manditory sterilization of breeds they consider dangerous... which can be any breed from Labs to Corgies...etc... unfortunately it passed last October, the first attempt to get a refferendum failed because of not enough signatures...a second attempt is underway... Tommorrow (April 4th) in Texas ... there is a bill under consideration that is very similar to the California Bill... see details here: http://www.akc.org/news/index.cfm?article_id=3178 If you wish to know more about Dog related legislation... look here: http://www.akc.org/canine_legislation/index.cfm

Viking Invasion...

DeerSlayer — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:39:03 GMT

Viking Invasion is a European Style Viking Festival that happens in Waco Texas once a year... Originally there was a viking villiage at the Viking Fest in Georgetown that a number of the Ansteorran Longship Company (basically a "household" of the SCA) participated in...and took their longship down to sail in and display. Viking Fest got moved to Waco with a different organizer. She still wanted the Ansteorran Longship Company to do a villiage (and treated them like second class citizens) and hired 30 Jomsvikings from Europe to come over and do fight shows (and paid all expenses for them)... The European Viks got with the American Viks to try to make things more even...and to create more cohesion between the groups... and to try to get a more stable situation...since the organizer kept promising things and backing out of them or otherwise changing them... Because of mismanagement...the Viking Fest...went under... but that last year... the Viks got together...and formed Viking Invasion... and started planning to do a seperate festival that could be married with the Viking Fest (if it continued) or become it's own venue... It's had a couple of years as it's own venue...and each year at least some of the European Jomsvikings come over...and now there is a Jomsviking group based out of Texas. Viks from other American groups participate as well. I belong to the Ansteorran Longship Company so feel some obligation to support my people in their participation in Viking Invasion. I also really like doing demos and talking to people about history...so it benefits me...and I tend to get more handwork done at something like this...cause it's part of the participation... I think I made 2 hats and learned a basic nalbinding stitch... I also get to hang out with a kinsman and his family, who I got into helping with the groundwork/legalistics of Viking Invasion, that I don't get to see often and talk to alot of people with different research and perspectives on the Viking Age than I do. Didn't get there till 7am Saturday morning... cause I didn't start packing till Friday evening at 9pm... Got in...parked... found out where to put my "plastic" tent... Ended up in assisting with the "running around" stuff...that happens before the gates open... and assisted with the set up of a gentleman and his wife who were there for him to do a book signing. He had written a childrens book set in the viking age and it was an interesting promo venue for him. I wondered around and talked to friends and the public and just in general helped out... I assisted in decorating the feast hall (they had a viking dinner Saturday night with us Vikings as the entertainment and flavour that people could buy tickets for.) The Jomsvikings that came over from Europe were Per (Jarl of Foteviken), Jerker (an amazing storyteller) and Jimi (who I believe is head of the Swedish Jomsviking group...I think...). Many of the Joms who would travel were either on the Amon Amaranth tour or the Man O War tour...but that's okay... the ones that came over are terriffic actors, know their craft with the fight shows and are kewl people to boot... Many of the American Joms weren't able to show...and so we were short on horses but Olaf and his wife (I can't remember her name at the moment) brought her Fjord horse who was a very sweet horse...and shed lots ;)... Liz got to come in from New Orleans where she is working on her degree...and her husband and daughter came down from Oklahoma... Of course Regenwulf was there (leader of the American Joms) and his wife Monica...as well as Thordis, Ivar, Ronvalder, Justric, Ann and Deborah...Ameline and Stella came from Fort Worth and Catriona, Bronwyn, her man and kids came from the Houston area... Magnus (they call him the pretty one...) was there...and an integral part of everything...and I got to put name to many of the people I knew of by only e-mail address on the Viking Invasion e-list... I even got to meet a Tuchux who came to the festival...she is now living in Waco and we got to talk about people we knew in common...and she invited me to come visit her at Pennsic in Tuchux camp...which is kewl...that way I'd be a guest...not the guest of a guest...hope I get to Pennsic to take her up on it. At the feast...there were lots of people sworn into the Jomsvikings under Regenwulf...it was an excellent feast...even though the caterers only got the recipes a few days before... may favorites were the venison stew and the apples with cream sauce... Sunday I got up late and spend a fair amount of time in Skalmir (the boat)... or climbing in and out of it....it was just an easy place to sit...and it always becomes the repository of weaponry when someone needs to put it down to go do something else... so someone needs to be stationed there... I helped with take down and clean up... and found out that the Vikings NA Oklahoma group was asked to put on a Viking Villiage at the end of June in Heavener... Thordis and I started making plans on going up...and several other folks are planning on going up as well to support the people who come down to support Viking Invasion... Overall it was a good weekend...and I met lots of people...and got to know Per, Jerker and Jimi better...and it didn't start raining till the last thing was put away on Sunday...so apparently the gods were looking out for us ;) I ended up staying Sunday night with Hundur and family... cause it was just too good to catch up with them...and I miss them....and I got to play with the baby...;)

Life update...

DeerSlayer — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:37:51 GMT

It's been rough... My son was in the hospital...and is now out...and doing okay... Had to have a tooth pulled cause it shattered... got sexually harassed at work...and reported it... but Things seem to be smoothing out a little... hopefully they will continue to...

Herbal Tonics...

DeerSlayer — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:28:52 GMT

I found these herb tonics to be great... http://www.herb-pharm.com/ I use the Brain and Memory one on my son... and it seems to knock out depressive episodes quickly from him...

Warrior Quotes...

DeerSlayer — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 08:45:07 GMT

"Enemies you threaten make armies. Enemies you destroy make graves." "Be more afraid of an army of sheep led by a wolf, than an army of wolves led by a sheep." "Petting scorpions with a compassionate hand will only get you stung." "The hawk breaks the back of his prey not because of strength, but because of timing." "The river has no shape, but it takes on the boundaries which it carves out for itself, so is the mind boundless, until it creates a prison for its own thoughts." "Those who are first on the battlefield and await the opponents are at ease; those who are last on the battlefield and head into a fight become exhausted. Therefore, good warriors cause others to go to them and do not go to others." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War "The true essence of a man is not what he has, but what he does." "A reflection on a pool of water does not reveal its depth." "It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him into evil ways." "To be foolish and recognize that one is a fool is better than to be foolish and imagine that one is wise." "Your soul - your life energy - is not bound by flesh. It can reach where your fingers cannot." Talk is easy - ACTION is difficult. Action is easy - TRUE UNDERSTANDING is difficult! One finds life through conquering the fear of death within one's mind. Empty the mind of all forms of attachment, make a go-for-broke charge and conquer the opponent with one decisive slash. - Togo Shigekata. The undisturbed mind is like the calm body water reflecting the brilliance of the moon. Empty the mind and you will realize the undisturbed mind. - Yagyu Jubei You might as well stand and fight because if you run you will only die tired - Vern Jocque When the World is at Peace, a gentleman keeps his Sword by his side. - Wu Tsu It is the very mind itself that leads the mind astray; Of the mind, Do not be mindless. In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few - Suzuki The Ultimate Warrior leaves no openings - Except in his mind When the Way comes to an end, then change - having changed, you pass through. - I Ching The more you sweat in training, the less you will bleed in battle. - Motto of Navy Seals The Way lies at hand yet it is sought afar off; the thing lies in the easy yet it is sought in the difficult. - Mencius To think, "I will not think" - This, too, is something in one's thoughts. Simply do not think about not thinking at all. - Takuan Use your head, or somebody else might. The dance of battle is always played to the same impatient rhythm. What begins in a surge of violent motion is always reduced to the perfectly still. - Sun Tzu When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. - Unknown Victory goes to the one who has no thought of himself - Shinkage School of Swordsmanship JIU YOKU GO O SEI SURU - Flexibility Masters Hardness See first with your mind, then with your eyes, and finally with your body - Yagyu Munenori Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself - Chinese Proverb Be master OF mind rather than mastered BY mind - Zen Saying

Lessons in Life...

DeerSlayer — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 21:06:31 GMT

Gifted to me from Moira Lessons in Life By Regina Brett - The Cleveland Plain Dealer To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does! 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 12. It's OK to let your children see you cry. 13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks. 16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying. 17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today. 18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write. 19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 24. The most important sex organ is the brain. 25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?" 27. Always choose life. 28. Forgive everyone everything. 29. What other people think of you is none of your business. 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. 33. Believe in miracles. 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. 35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. 37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable. 38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion. 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. 41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 45. The best is yet to come. 46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 48. If you don't ask, you don't get. 49. Yield. 50. Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a gift

Simplifying life...

DeerSlayer — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 11:32:07 GMT

Taking a cue from someone on my friends list in MySpace..... I decided to start to simplify my life... and delete those numbers from my cell phone that I no longer need... and to delete from my messenger list those people I no longer have any interaction with... not going to reduce my list on Xanga nor my 360 list or my MS list... though there is a little crossover... it's mostly different groups of people... and is not "in my way" to keep stuff on them.... haven't decided whether to keep my Tribes account...it just exists at this point... I may just clean up the number of lists I'm on...on all the blog type things... there's just so much I don't care about anymore... cause it's not worth dealing with the drama to care... the clueless seem to want to remain clueless... those that think they have power want to wield it like a bludgeon instead of open their eyes and see that their universe has changed and the only way to benefit their people is to change with it... I charge those who know their leader is acting like an idiot... to get together with the rest of your tribe and confront them... get it over with...the short pain of confrontation is much better that being silent and having to deal with the BS and the repurcussions of your leader's stupidity... for everything they do...reflects on you... May your Gods guide you well Hail the Ancestors

Truth lies in discomfort

DeerSlayer — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 05:07:30 GMT

We avoid the things that we're afraid of because we think there will be dire consequences if we confront them. But the truly dire consequences in our lives come from avoiding things that we need to learn about or discover. Shakti Gawain Author of 'Creative Visualization'

Mistletoe

DeerSlayer — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 20:41:52 GMT

Because I was looking stuff up for someone... Mistletoe is a parasite...and will kill trees if too many of them are on one. but it is also a part of the ecosystem. (apparently raptors like nesting in mistletoe) http://www.usgs. gov/newsroom/ special/mistleto e/ http://www.ipm. ucdavis.edu/ PMG/PESTNOTES/ pn7437.html it has some uses...but as I understand it...is very poisoness... and the only one that can be used for medicinal purposes are those that grow on oaks... http://www.cancer. gov/cancerinfo/ pdq/cam/mistleto e History etc... http://www.botanica l.com/botanical/ mgmh/m/mistle40. html

Quote from the Universe

DeerSlayer — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 12:58:22 GMT

Our lives improve only when we take chances... and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Walter Anderson American Editor and Publisher

To Make You Laugh

DeerSlayer — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 13:19:46 GMT

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off & on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you & the kangaroo. What must you do to get out of this extremely dangerous situation? If you do not know the answer, scroll down....... GET YOUR DRUNK ASS OFF THE MERRY-GO-ROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Viked from another of Haus Kiersted...

DeerSlayer — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 02:58:56 GMT

A battle on distant shore Seawolves warth sweep the land Down from the skies Valkyries ride And walk the field halowed by Tyr The fight is hard, axes are swung Swords bite sharp, men are slewn The ground turns red, bloodsoaked field Dead man’s last bed and Odin sees Vikings fall, in blood they lie The webs of Norn’s, they’ve met their fate With shield and sword they’ve benn brought in pride To the mighty doors of the Speargod’s hall The gates open and into the hall of braves The silently walk The one-eyed sits in glory mighty Raises his cup and says: “Pa Vida Fältet Härmän Svingat Det Blanket Svärdet Och Banen Mött Till Den Höges Sal de I Ära Förts Och Vid Mjödet Hör Odin Kväda” Dawn breaks, the Einherjer go to Relive their fight With passion swords held high As they ride in the morning mist The sun warms the air, Warcries sound Tor Hjelpe! The battle begins Charging horses with fire breath Rush to battle, in glory die! Swords sing in joy, again they cut With shining edges, bloodstained steel Axes shine, again they’ve been swung Ripping flesh, death be done And the cold night comes with charging darkness To Odin’s hall the Einherjer return A feast awaits, until the next day When warriors eyes again shall burn

Words to live by...

DeerSlayer — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 00:57:22 GMT

This was an answer in a meme that was sent to me... was so obvious and so much a universal truth... I had to put it out... Never make someone a priority, when to them you are just an option

Jan stopped in town today...

DeerSlayer — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 23:26:57 GMT

She wanted a visual on me to make sure I'm okay... She said she was much less concerned now that she saw me. I'm okay...just puting in for easy to get jobs till a good one hits... Still kinda wierded out... But okay...

Quote of the Day!!!!

DeerSlayer — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 21:04:45 GMT

Your imagination is your preview to life's coming attractions. Albert Einstein German-born Theoretical Physicist

Latin Quote of the Day...

DeerSlayer — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 10:08:38 GMT

Amor est vitae essentia - Love is the essence of life

Darkness/Light

DeerSlayer — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 02:31:28 GMT

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? Your are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson From her book: Return To Love