one thing i've learned from my own personal life experience is....the universe works in mysterious ways....

...and letting go is the hardest part...possibly the most difficult thing i've ever had to do. we built our worlds around each other. we dreamed of eternity. now i am waking up into this dream and real~eyezing what i must do. it's been hard to accept that a huge part of that process for me is letting go of you. it's ironic that i am the one who wants to protect you...i spent three years protecting you and now i am the one who is breaking your heart... and i feel your pain like it was my own.

what i told you is true... we have a divine connection. i remember you from long long ago. for a long time we have journeyed together... and you loved me unconditionally....in sickness and in health. in sorrow and in joy. so many times our love has been tested. and so many times it stood the test of time.

i see what is happening to us now ...it is not a test but an initiation... an initiation into ourselves and our individual evolution. we grew lifetimes together...and as beautiful as it was with you it couldn't continue the way it was going. imbalance tore our worlds apart. i couldn't hold it together forever. i am the one who crumbled beneath the weight of our world. i am the one who finally caved.

i told you with you it was divine truth and it was...it is ...there will always be sacred truth between us. i realized when i made this decision ...once i stepped through that portal with mani.... there was no going back to where i had come from. but i could bring one thing with me...one thing that i will always have and that is my love for you. it will never go away because love is eternal.

i am willing to give everything up...all of it...let go of everything....to maintain what is sacred between us. that is our truth and our bond which is that connection of divine love that will never ever go away. had i remained it would have torn me apart. resentment makes the heart close and the love turn to waste. i have to recognize that this is a necessary shift in our relationship to each other.

i'm entering a whole new world now and it's kinda scary...it's all new territory to me. i'm leaving the familiarity of you and me behind. i'm trusting in faith to guide me and in love to see me through. i'm learning to let go of you. it's not an easy thing to do. i thought you were the one i was going to be with forever. i know i sound like a hopeful romantic but i did...now everything is changed.

i want to honor what you did for me and recognize all we did for each other. you opened my eyes to beauty. to ecstatic states of being. to the sacredness of monogamy. you gave everything you could give to me.

i want to thank you for all you did for me. when you found me i was not ok and you breathed life back into me, you fed me, you took care of me. you were always there for me when i needed to cry. you are an angel with a heart of pure gold. you are so strong you are only beginning to know the power and strength you hold.

i think i will always be protective over you. i want to see you fly. i want to see you happy. i want to see you experience life and love and take all that loving energy you have inside of you and focus it on you. you deserve to have nothing less than your dreams actualized, fully awakened and discovered...realized.

i can't begin to measure how much we grew together and learned from each other on our journey together. i will forever be in absolute gratitude and appreciation of the time i spent with you. what we shared together is real and it was a rare gift of sharing without limitation...without fear or boundaries...without keeping score. i wanted to give you more but i have to take care of me now... and you have to take care of you.

you will be taken care of. you have an entire community of people who love you dearly. you are supported by the universe and all the gods/goddesses within and without. you have divine love and protection all around you. all you have to do is open to it and it will be there every step of the way.

i pray that you will always be a part of my life...whatever form that takes. i hope to dance with you. i hope to continue this collective movement and dream with you as an active part of it because you have so many gifts to bring. you are a rare jewel iishua and there is no one else like you. you are very special. don't ever forget where you came from. it is where we came from that delivered us to the present moment of breathing this life and awakening to this dream.

walk in truth and light always always honor yourself and own your truth.
this is my prayer for you on this full moon winter solstice. may winter's dreaming wake up to the warmth of the light and the return of the sun. may we all dance together in peace in harmony in honor in love and integrity. this is my prayer to you. i honor you iishua. always.

may you be eternally blessed.