I am a firm believer in the philosophy that what goes around comes around in this lifetime. Karmic balance is achieved whether you are a loving, thoughtful person who lives by the golden rule or a negative insecure person riddled with loneliness, bad luck, drama and sadness.

What we put out in this world is always returned to us. We are given the gift of reflection through our relationships. Reflections of self through the actions of those we keep close can teach us things about ourselves that we may not easily recognize. We don’t always want to believe that we treat others poorly. If we are not yet the person we want to be we may disguise our own bad behavior with distractions, relationships, work, drama or stress in our lives.

If we put out love, light, understanding, compassion and treat others only as we wish to be treated guess what happens? We receive all that love, kindness and understanding back into our lives. The more love, understanding and kindness we put out, the more love, understanding and happiness is returned to us. When we are judgmental, non communicative, dishonest or selfish that is what finds its way into our lives making us unhappy and unfulfilled.

If we refuse to be accountable for our own actions and blame others for our own situations and relationships then we only succeed in pushing ourselves further away from our joy and dreams. I think you’ll find it very difficult to break your own unhealthy patterns if you are not accountable and you’ll stay in a holding pattern of sadness, loneliness and unfulfilled dreams.

I believe that taking responsibility for our own lives is the first step towards achieving our dreams and finding bliss. We all hold the key to our own joy. We can each change our own luck or unhealthy patterns and be the person we want to be. I don’t believe in beating ourselves up for being a person in the past that we are not proud of, for treating others poorly or for acting in ways we are ashamed of. I do believe in reflecting upon our own behavior for the sake of accountability and taking the steps to change who we are and how we treat people.

How can I change my own fate you wonder? 1) Be accountable 2) be brutally honest with yourself and those around you 3) recognize how your own actions put you in the position you are in. I should clarify, some are born into poor situations and have a pre-disposition to bad situations which requires even more work and reflection. Once we accept responsibility we can begin to identify our own patterns and begin to break free of them if they are not serving us well. These changes bring us closer to our own joy and fulfillment. Do NOT let dread overwhelm you and know that you can change from the inside out. It is never too late to change. We must be compassionate and loving to ourselves during the process. Think of it as treating yourself the same way you treat the friends and family you are so kind and loving towards.


We should all remember that when someone treats us badly the fact of the matter may be that we treated another this way or perhaps it’s a reflection of a quality within ourselves we do not care to see yet it exists. I view those reflections as an opportunity to grow and change something about myself that no longer serves me well. It could also mean that I am meant to teach a person how to love themselves and learn to trust, let go of their judgments and begin to realize that they have the power to change themselves and be truly happy. In some relationships we may be meant to teach love and understanding and that person needs your compassion and understanding. They may need for you to be a healthy role model. This may be the very reason you have come into one another's lives. You show each other who you have been and who you have the potential to be.

I have learned to love and accept myself with my flaws and I offer this same acceptance to others. I’ve let go of any self loathing and I always try to approach others who are negative with love and understanding. As a kindred spirit who understands the pain of unhappiness due to self loathing, I have the ability to be compassionate and non judgmental in most situations. I try to live authentically and ethically and surround myself with those who live similarly. I approach everything I do or say with the highest level of honesty ( especially with myself ) and clarity that I am capable of. I know that I create my own joy and healthy, gratifying relationships. I take full accountability for my life, which includes my successes and failures, although I believe failures often teach the best lessons. Joy and fulfillment is something we are all promised. We only need to make the choice to receive it and dedicate ourselves to doing the work to become the loving, compassionate beings we are meant to be.