My thoughts for the day

Look within

Charrice — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:46:22 GMT

I believe we must all look within ourselves for validation and happiness. In my experiences I have encountered some who seem to think that finding bliss and fulfillment is achieved by finding a specific person to love. I’ve also known people who seem to need validation from others which I believe is the very reason that they are unfulfilled and unhappy. If we seek others to validate us then our happiness lies in the hands of those we seek validation from. This is not only unrealistic but can leave us frustrated or unhappy because it is very difficult to please others and meet their expectations. If we look to others for our own validation we are giving up all of our power and sacrificing our own hopes and dreams in our efforts to please others. In order to achieve true happiness and fulfillment we must first be in touch with our own desires and feel good about ourselves. This is quite difficult if you are not pleased with yourself as a person or if you do not live authentically and seek out your own joyful activities, vocations and relationships. Some people spend their lives seeking an ideal relationship believing that once they find that perfect mate their own happiness will be achieved. It is my personal belief that no matter how wonderful your relationship is, if you are not happy within yourself and do not feel that you are a good and worthy person, no relationship will fill the void within that you continually seek to fill. The void is within you and can never be filled with a relationship. That hole inside of you is the dark empty place where self loathing, insecurity and self doubt reside. It’s a lonely emptiness created because you do not feel worthy of true love or bliss. Many people will continue to spend their lives seeking fulfillment that cannot be achieved through alternative, casual sexual relationships or spontaneous monogamous romantic long term relationships. I believe that most instant LTR’s are unrealistic because neither person has taken the time to truly get to know a person before stating or believing they are in love. Each person may project an image of themselves trying to be precisely what they believe their new love interest is seeking, rather than being authentic. I believe that people who alter themselves to become another's ideal mate do not feel that they will be loved and admired for who they really are but instead believe they need to fit into the idea of what this other person is seeking. They spend all their energy altering themselves and their actions to be the perfect mate for this person they hardly know. I know there are exceptions to this idea so I am generalizing but I believe this to be true for the most part, particularly with on line relationships. My philosophy as I continue to grow and evolve has become one in which I believe we can only truly fall in love when we are both being completely authentic and real on every level. How else can we fall in love with one another? If we are not keeping it real and being true to ourselves then a person is falling for a fantasy or an image that either we ourselves project (trying to be their dream) or the other person may be idealizing us and presuming we are everything they desire because they want desperately to believe they have found their soul-mate or an ideal romantic match. I do not typically feel the need to say the words to you about who I am unless you are not hearing me and you put me on a pedestal or refuse to believe what I am telling you about who I really am. This need has come up mainly through long distance or on line encounters because real time interactions allow me to show you who I am through actions rather than written words or phone conversations. Self awareness is a life long path and we are all continually discovering more about ourselves through each relationship and interaction in our lives but no one knows me better than I know myself. I have found that on line interactions inspire me to "tell you" who I am which is why I prefer real time interactions but I do believe love can be found on line if both people are authentic. I am blessed to be surrounded by others who also live authentically. I have learned not to keep people close who refuse to see the “real” me or who cannot show me who they “really” are. If you believe everyone is manipulative then I suspect those are the types of people you allow to be close to you so that is your personal experience, however it is not mine. I am surrounded by honest, trust worthy, very loving people and those are the types who continually enter into and bless my amazing life. I do believe that relationships that are unhealthy are meant to teach us more about what we want and can have in our healthy relationships. I view them as very profound, necessary lessons in my life. I no longer allow guilt or loyalty to cement me to those who are unhealthy or unrealistic. I do however; try to help those friends who are struggling on their own spiritual path because they need my love and understanding. I am not implying that every person is perfect (especially me) but I recognize those on the path to enlightenment who need support and encouragement. Heres how I think we can find our own fulfillment; Stop looking to others for validation and look within. Live authentically and strive to be the best, most loving person you can be. Learn to love and accept yourself unconditionally. Understand that no relationship, no matter how passionate or gratifying will fulfill you if you are not happy with who you are or if you do not feel worthy of love. If you cannot look within for your own joy and validation no relationship will bring you true happiness. Know that you are a good person worthy of love. If you haven’t been such a good person know that you can become the wonderful, amazing person filled with love and light beginning this very moment. Look within and find all the love and fulfillment you will ever need…Then when you find chemistry and attraction to a person who loves themselves and does not look to others for validation or joy and you both fall in love, the love is real and can be everlasting. You will both enjoy fulfillment and bliss as you love and support one another throughout your life.

Karmic balance

Charrice — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 18:23:41 GMT

I am a firm believer in the philosophy that what goes around comes around in this lifetime. Karmic balance is achieved whether you are a loving, thoughtful person who lives by the golden rule or a negative insecure person riddled with loneliness, bad luck, drama and sadness. What we put out in this world is always returned to us. We are given the gift of reflection through our relationships. Reflections of self through the actions of those we keep close can teach us things about ourselves that we may not easily recognize. We don’t always want to believe that we treat others poorly. If we are not yet the person we want to be we may disguise our own bad behavior with distractions, relationships, work, drama or stress in our lives. If we put out love, light, understanding, compassion and treat others only as we wish to be treated guess what happens? We receive all that love, kindness and understanding back into our lives. The more love, understanding and kindness we put out, the more love, understanding and happiness is returned to us. When we are judgmental, non communicative, dishonest or selfish that is what finds its way into our lives making us unhappy and unfulfilled. If we refuse to be accountable for our own actions and blame others for our own situations and relationships then we only succeed in pushing ourselves further away from our joy and dreams. I think you’ll find it very difficult to break your own unhealthy patterns if you are not accountable and you’ll stay in a holding pattern of sadness, loneliness and unfulfilled dreams. I believe that taking responsibility for our own lives is the first step towards achieving our dreams and finding bliss. We all hold the key to our own joy. We can each change our own luck or unhealthy patterns and be the person we want to be. I don’t believe in beating ourselves up for being a person in the past that we are not proud of, for treating others poorly or for acting in ways we are ashamed of. I do believe in reflecting upon our own behavior for the sake of accountability and taking the steps to change who we are and how we treat people. How can I change my own fate you wonder? 1) Be accountable 2) be brutally honest with yourself and those around you 3) recognize how your own actions put you in the position you are in. I should clarify, some are born into poor situations and have a pre-disposition to bad situations which requires even more work and reflection. Once we accept responsibility we can begin to identify our own patterns and begin to break free of them if they are not serving us well. These changes bring us closer to our own joy and fulfillment. Do NOT let dread overwhelm you and know that you can change from the inside out. It is never too late to change. We must be compassionate and loving to ourselves during the process. Think of it as treating yourself the same way you treat the friends and family you are so kind and loving towards. We should all remember that when someone treats us badly the fact of the matter may be that we treated another this way or perhaps it’s a reflection of a quality within ourselves we do not care to see yet it exists. I view those reflections as an opportunity to grow and change something about myself that no longer serves me well. It could also mean that I am meant to teach a person how to love themselves and learn to trust, let go of their judgments and begin to realize that they have the power to change themselves and be truly happy. In some relationships we may be meant to teach love and understanding and that person needs your compassion and understanding. They may need for you to be a healthy role model. This may be the very reason you have come into one another's lives. You show each other who you have been and who you have the potential to be. I have learned to love and accept myself with my flaws and I offer this same acceptance to others. I’ve let go of any self loathing and I always try to approach others who are negative with love and understanding. As a kindred spirit who understands the pain of unhappiness due to self loathing, I have the ability to be compassionate and non judgmental in most situations. I try to live authentically and ethically and surround myself with those who live similarly. I approach everything I do or say with the highest level of honesty ( especially with myself ) and clarity that I am capable of. I know that I create my own joy and healthy, gratifying relationships. I take full accountability for my life, which includes my successes and failures, although I believe failures often teach the best lessons. Joy and fulfillment is something we are all promised. We only need to make the choice to receive it and dedicate ourselves to doing the work to become the loving, compassionate beings we are meant to be.

a different sort of poetry

Charrice — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:09:33 GMT

I ran across some of my old dark/erotic poetry and thought it was worth sharing.... My precious one Beautiful devoted slave, she is my ravishing creature drawing out her darkest fantasies and learning her deepest secrets brings me tremendous pleasure her reverence illuminates my dominance her illusive sexual energy is conducive to my deviant nature the trust she places in me as I push her to the edge of her fears proves to me that my precious one gives herself willfully I know of nothing that my adoring slave will not do for me I am fascinated by what lies beneath the surface of my bright and stunning little plaything My dominion holds the key to her pleasure chest of deviant desires My little girl’s sensual essence sets my soul on fire as I conspire to unlock the doors and draw forth forbidden secrets hiding in the shadows of her brilliant mind It was with great honor that I adorned her with my collar knowing by her own sovereignty, my lovely courageous slave had chosen me By Charrice

Finding our soul mate...

Charrice — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 05:02:02 GMT

My theory (perhaps others share my perspective) is that our soul mate, divine counterpart or life partner is a merely a reflection of self. One must develop a healthy relationship with themselves in order to find our soul mate or one true love. When we have devoted the time and energy to a healthy relationship with ourselves; when we dig deep and truly get to know and love who we are inside and out; when we accept our own past and embrace who we are, who we have been and who we shall be, we are emotionally prepared to unite with our beloved in this life. If we seek to find true love we must understand that the person we are trying so hard to find is within us. Our beloved is the essence of who we ourselves are. They encompass all aspects of who we are and are a beautiful reflection of self. Because your divine counterpart can be like a twin or one who possesses the qualities within us that we need to recognize in ourselves, that person already knows every aspect of who you are. You communicate effortlessly because you speak the same language. You relate similarly in the world, possess the same aspirations, hopes and dreams. I think the same is true of those kindred spirits we encounter on our spiritual journey who become incredible friends. When you connect with someone who relates, communicates and feels as you do the bond is immediate and inescapable. I have been blessed to encounter such kindred spirits and develop amazing, life long friendships. Those incredible friendships are instantaneous and they are the most gratifying and effortless in my opinion. We do not need to look outside ourselves for our mate, but instead we must look within. If we achieve a perfect love of self, meaning you truly love yourself and hold no judgments against yourself, our beloved is manifested and the universe brings you together because you are both prepared for your divine union. You will not be denied true love if you achieve that perfect love of self. I am on this path but am not quite there yet. This is the only reason my beloved hasn’t shown herself as of yet. She is also doing the work of healing, self love and acceptance in preparation of our divine union. Once we have both achieved that deep love of self we will no doubt find one another and build our incredibly happy life together. Together we will create our own unique family and live a life filled with love, light, joy and bliss. The universe decides the appropriate time for soul mates to find one another; all we must do is develop that loving relationship with ourselves. If we do the work and fall in love with ourselves (falling in love is a term I use for deep love of self) then we will never be denied the unconditional love of our life partner, soul mate or the “one” as I like to say. During the period in which we wait for this to happen we are likely to have many romantic relationships and those may be wonderfully fulfilling or dreadfully painful. I believe each of those relationships serves the purpose of teaching self awareness and understanding. Every relationship we develop serves a purpose in our lives whether they are healthy and fulfilling or not. I value each of them greatly but I recognize that they are only distractions from the “one” I truly seek. I believe that perfect love of self is achieved when we embrace, honor and cherish ourselves, essentially treating ourselves the way we would treat the love of our lives. When we achieve that we are granted the perfect union of love and we are lifted to higher realms. Both people in the union reach their full potential because they are reflections of one another. Both know how to support, love and encourage one another to achieve their dreams and reach fulfillment in every aspect of their lives. If you have ever encountered two soul mates who’ve found one another in this lifetime, you may understand what I am stating. They are fulfilled, complete and blissfully happy together. Such lovers bring out the best in one another and encourage each other to achieve their own greatness. It is this philosophy and belief that sustains me as I continue to do the work. I feel as though I am on the brink of achieving a perfect love of self but I recognize that for me, there is still work to be done. When we speak the words, thoughts become our reality. This is precisely why negative thoughts and self loathing manifest bad things or the unhealthy relationships in our lives. It is also why I tend to write and express my thoughts out loud to those I relate to in my life. I encourage all who want to find true love (but haven’t found it yet) to look within yourself. You need not be a perfect person with a squeaky clean past. You only need to learn to love yourself unconditionally, free of judgement or self loathing. Your search for that perfect mate will no longer be necessary. Once we achieve that perfect love of self our beloved will drop right into our lives. Most likely when we least expect it because we are so busy living authentically and following our dreams. Our true love will cross our path and we will not be able to prevent the inevitably of our divine union. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important and meaningful relationship you'll ever have so it deserves every bit of the attention and focus you give to all the other relationships in you life. Love thy self and thine love shall appear.

Creating unique initmate relationships

Charrice — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 19:24:59 GMT

There are as many styles of relationships, as there are names for them. My personal belief is that two people in love can create their own unique relationship that is not necessarily modeled after anything else. Those two lovers take aspects of various types of relationships and incorporate them into their uniquely loving, intimate relationship. I have always been in control of my own sexual sovereignty. I find myself attracted to others who live similarly and make no apologies for it. I’ve always been drawn to alternative people, relationships and ways of being. I do not fit into the societal role of a woman. My inability to fit into such a small box never suited me and even as a child I knew I would never fit into those roles. As a much more confident, self aware adult I chose to step into a few alternative lifestyles on my quest for true love. That is the ultimate goal I set out to achieve throughout all of my sexually intimate experiences. When long term romance was not possible that didn't deter me from my path as I continued to learn and grow through the connections I developed. One thing that always existed in these relationships was mutual respect. Accepting this truth and understanding that I am motivated by love, trust and a deep intimate connections shed crystal clear light on the path I chose and the lessons laid out before me on that path. The brilliant light of love of self is what illuminates my various paths (sexual, emotional, spiritual) of self evolution. It is only when I deny what has brought me to a certain place, that I cannot see what was to be revealed as it’s cloaked in the denial of what is true for me. If I am true to myself and express myself with absolute honesty to those that cross my path the connection we find is real. My motivation for the various lifestyles I have explored has always been true love. I sought out to find that uniquely loving partner who shared my interest in power dynamics and role playing but that aspect to the relationship was never the most critical for me. I have learned what is most important to me in my intimate relationships. Mutual respect is a key element, essential to my intimate relationship. Once there is mutual respect and attraction, mutual trust can be developed between two people. From there so many other wonderful aspects to the connection can blossom, particularly when trust is tested on deeply intimate levels. Mutual physical and intellectual attraction is certainly a necessity. I think that a strong attraction to one another’s intellect and ways of thinking and moving in the world make the connection flow naturally and nothing needs to be forced. I’m attracted to the way a woman perceives things and how she expresses herself to show what it is she truly believes. Women who are unafraid to be affectionate and have no problem being wrong occasionally. I find it so alluring when a person can be “real” and can easily admit when their closed minded thinking is limiting. I adore a person who can express a desire to grow and expand their thinking. We all need to continually grow towards enlightenment which requires us all to admit mistakes, grow from them and move forward with a greater understanding of self. I think that the healthiest, most intense and erotic relationships allow for both people to express themselves without censorship on any level. I cannot imagine a relationship that limits either person’s self expression. One test of the depth of that relationship is the trust that one can open up themselves completely and share their deepest darkest fears, fantasies or experiences with their lover knowing that there will be no judgments only the deepening of the love and mutual respect. It shows tremendous strength and vulnerability, trust and love to be completely open with another person. One’s ability to truly love unconditionally is proven when we do not judge our lover but embrace them and understand the level of vulnerability and trust being displayed. I don’t think a relationship is possible at all if you remove the element of honesty or mutual respect. The balance of power must be equal in the relationship itself although I completely agree with chosen roles, balance is also essential. Personally (this does not apply to anyone else) I enjoy power dynamics because it’s a choice that both have made and there’s such a powerful element of trust that cannot be denied. I’ll continue to hold out for the one who’s thinking is in line with my own, the woman who’s attracted to my beauty, intellect, passion and honesty. I don’t believe anyone can get to know who I am inside and out by simply trading emails which is why on line relationships are of no interest to me. I want and deserve something and someone as real as myself. I post this as a first step towards manifestation of fulfillment for myself in the realm of true love, happiness and romance. This New Year can bring fullfillment and I am ready to receive fulfillment and true love. Namaste - Charrice

Goddess of my dreams

Charrice — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 02:15:44 GMT

a kiss from her soft lips filled with desire her yearning wrapped in the sultriest whisper the touch of her hands setting my soul on fire our true love inspires my absolute surrender to the one I am meant for I will give my heart unwrapped and tender to the one I adore, all my passion love and trust her enchantment spellbinds and captivates me she ignites the fire that relentlessly fuels my lust perfection is an illusion and not all it seems my beautiful Goddess exists, even if only in my dreams by Charrice

Promise of a new year

Charrice — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 20:09:28 GMT

It is the last day of the year today and the sun has invited me out to play. Her warmth and kindness nourishes my body and spirit during these dark and sometimes lonely months of winter. The blessings of life in Santa Cruz always overshadow all the little annoyances that aren’t even worthy of the smallest complaint. As I look back on my life in this amazing town I honor the reasons I have chosen to spend my life here. I have been blessed with loving friendships. Goddess graced me with the ability to reach out and connect with like minded spirits and being one who didn’t have this ability growing up, its value in my life is infinite. My roots have sunk deep into our Mother earth and I’m surrounded by love and light here. What have you learned about yourself this past year? I have learned a great many valuable truths and lessons for which I am eternally grateful. The biggest lesson for me is to trust only what is “real” that can be touched, seen and felt down to your core. What is imagined, or the illusions we create don’t move us towards our fulfillment but essentially distract us from what we truly desire. We must remain true to our heart’s desire and not be blinded by the brilliant fascination that attraction and desire can set in our path. The bright and shiny objects that break our concentration as we move towards our dreams. We must not settle for less than true love and absolute honesty in our relationships. Without honesty passion holds no facination for me. I am responsible for each situation and I have a choice in how I respond which creates my own reality. The importance of true love and passion in my life is something I’ve always known but Goddess has definitely stepped in to remind me what it is I am holding out for and why. I recognize my own ability to surrender to love when it’s true and when it is an illusion there is something that doesn’t resonate or feel quite feel right in the connection. I’m learning to better trust my own instincts and revel in the gift of intuition Goddess helps me attune with each passing moment. I’ve grown to embrace the amazing person I am as well as all the incredible individuals who fill my life with love and light by simply being who they are meant to be. The capacity to love and understand others blossoms for me with each passing moment. Each emotion and response that fills my spirit reveals my human nature. I’m continually learning to nurture those who need it the most and reaching out when I need support too, which shows my vulnerability. If it’s my role, I will guide those in need towards the self love that allows us all to connect deeply with one another because we are all one. Many other times I am the one who’s reaching out for the love and guidance of a teacher, friend or lover. These are ways of being I must continually strive for but it is where my heart leads me. I only need to listen and trust, live and love. My intentions for the new year are to live as though tomorrow may not come; love with abandon and unparralleled passion; learn with an open mind and heart from each incredible relationship I’m granted; move into my most authentic self. Ultimately knowing thy self, trusting that my beloved will cross my path at the perfect moment in my life…following my hearts desire where-ever the path may lead me.

sublime union

Charrice — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 01:39:12 GMT

Quickly swept up in the passionate intent Reality overshadowed by romantic notions Filled with passion, love and trust She must dig beneath the surface To reveal what this vulnerable heart conceals She must gently peel back the layers of a multifaceted woman Be patient enough to discover all the desire and pain that will be exposed Her subjugate kiss unveils the hidden questions with answers unfledged Kiss her again with lustful desire and something untamed will be released What lies beneath the surface of this complicated, most simplistic of creatures The passion that overwhelms, the intensity that infuriates The lust that drives you, the trust that can never be matched Ascension to our most authentic selves Born of love, passion and desire is our fulfillment by Charrice

The promise of a new day

Charrice — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 18:38:43 GMT

The promise of a new day gently coerced me from my slumber. I didn't wish to rise from beneath my warm and comfy sheets but the morning persistently taunted me with promises of something wonderful, until finally I submitted to her gentle coercion. How could I resist her excitement to expose me to new things, to teach me more about the Goddess and how to express my gratitude to her? The sun has not yet awakened to spread her warmth and comfort among us. The mighty sun will welcome us all soon, but the moon is still out lighting up the morning sky. Goddess engulfs me with her loving energy; she showers me with her blessings; she inspires me with her continuum and prowess. She generously brings teachers, lovers, friends as her love and acceptance connects us all to one another. How may I humble myself to her and express my undying gratitude, as I worship her upon my knees. I offer her all that I have to give, my adoration and loyalty, as I ingratiate myself at her feet. Goddess bestows upon us the precious gift of a new day. I cherish the meaningful connections she continually brings into my life. Each new friend or lover teaches me more about my most authentic self; each connection teaches me how to love more deeply and how to let go of ego and insecurity. How may I adequately express my gratitude and honor for such powerful relations that set me on a new path of worship and inspiration. As I fall at your feet in hopes that you will teach me, I humbly give myself to you without reservation. The power of the Goddess's love coerces me from my peaceful slumber each bright new day as I awaken feeling more blessed and loved.

I'm in a state of Gratitude

Charrice — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 05:33:37 GMT

I’m filled with gratitude for having a lifelong dream become a reality but what struck me wasn’t my own joy. It was the reality that our fulfillment is right before us if only we believe we are deserving. Of course we must also be ready to receive what we’ve always dreamed of. I understand all too well, how we can fear achieving our own goals or can feel unworthy to receive what we desire. As I began to write in my journal I found myself thanking the Goddess Santoshi Ma. Santoshi Ma is the Goddess I asked (and still do) not only to guide me to my fulfillment, but to give me the strength and courage to acknowledge and accept my own worthiness. I think we can often achieve our dreams but our inability to feel worthy prevents us from truly being happy and achieving our grace. I am lucky to connect with kindred spirits along my path, who each teach me (by simply being the beautiful spirit they are) how to open myself to the destiny we all share. Fulfillment is a destiny we all share but most of us let our fear and self loathing stop us from achieving true happiness and fulfillment. We are all capable of achieving our full potential but fear itself prevents it for so many of us. I hope anyone who reads this will open themselves to their own fulfillment and trust that it’s right before you if only you accept it without fear, guilt or feelings of unworthiness. I know my fulfillment is right before me, but because I felt unworthy my path has been slow (yet steady). I understand I am only ready to receive pieces of my joy but that only makes me more grateful for each piece I am blessed with. We cannot receive our joy before we are ready and capable. Trust that you are preparing to receive your fulfillment if it has not happened yet. Continue upon your spiritual path until you are ready to receive your joy and grace. I learn so much from every authentic person in my life that my spiritual growth is assured because of the person I am. I do believe however, that my own ideas of what is right for me can be far too limited and therefore I must learn to let go of the attachment to such limiting ideas. The whole point of these ramblings was mainly to express my gratitude for the ability to recognize how I am the only one in this world that prevents me from achieving my dreams. I am the holder of the key that opens the door to realizing those dreams. If I humbly ask for guidance it will be placed right before me. A negative past does not have to hold us back. It has the potential to teach us gratitude, understanding, tolerance and love. I have many other dreams to fulfill but I realize they can all come true if only I believe that I deserve them. I am dedicated to helping others learn that we all deserve true happiness. I’m eternally grateful for those in my life who teach me how to open myself to unconditional love and fulfillment. Life is such an amazing, unexpected journey. A dark, self loathing past does not mean one cannot achieve love, light, true happiness and fulfillment. My personal darkness has been balanced with loving light and this is how I’ve began to achieve my own joy and grace. The path will continue beyond this fleeting moment we call life on earth.

Special connections

Charrice — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 01:38:51 GMT

I have such a special connection with a particular friend of mine that I felt inclined to share the joy. I'm sure many of you can relate to this perspective. Do you have a friend that can fill your heart with joy with her laughter and happiness? I have such a friend and it amazes me what a natural high I feel every time we hang out. The conversation is always so easy, nothing is contrived and we simply understand one another so instinctively that we find ourselves laughing or sharing our pain with no censorship. I'm not sure if sexual intimacy at one stage in a friendship creates such a deep and lasting bond that spills into your lifelong friendship or if it's because you are kindred spirits but I revel in the happiness the connection brings us both. I don't think that time or distance affects these types of friendships and distance certainly makes us appreciate that special connection. I'm deeply touched when my intimate friend can make me feel so special and appreciated in her life by being so open with me. I strive for others in my life who can be so honest and authentic with no fear in expressing love and appreciation. I appreciate you more than words can say as your love reminds me of what is truly important in my life. The trivial, annoying and sometimes stressful things mean nothing. They are mere challenges or roadblocks to happiness and fullfillment. Your laughter and affection makes me forget all about all those silly things, it washes away any fear and fills me with joy and gratitude for the amazing connection and deep friendship we share. I'm dedicated to making you feel the same way and always being the supportive girlfriend who won't judge but will always love and accept you just as you are. You are a human being and such a beautiful one inside and out. It's my honor and pleasure to be so close and share in your own fullfillment.....You inspire me to achieve my own greatness. Love & Light..

Mother's Day

Charrice — Mon, 14 May 2007 04:59:22 GMT

Inspiration found me today as I pondered all the amazing Mother's who've been my friends and lovers over the years. These Mother's are powerful, wise,independent, selfless and so full of love and light. I’m inspired by their inner strength, wisdom and selflessness. Words cannot adequately describe my adoration and respect for loving Mothers. I can think of nothing more inspiring than the love of a Mother who will give up everything to put her children’s needs first. Mothers are completely intuitive and know exactly how to fulfill the needs of their children, which is more often than not, at the expense of their own needs. Mothers are the most loving, wise creatures on the planet. Have you ever really watched a loving Mother move in this world? No one is more thoughtful, creative, innovative, wise and loving. Mothers love us unconditionally despite our flaws. Mothers also have an ability to affect us in ways no other person can. I consider the Mother Child relationship to be sacred and one that cannot be fully explained. The connection between a Mother and her child (or children) is unparalleled. I’ve been blessed to have many lovers who were also incredible Mums. The gift of unconditional love and trust is one that always stays with me when relationships evolve beyond sexual intimacy. I’m very drawn towards loving Mother energy. I hope that one day I will be graced with children of my own. I've been incredibly blessed to have many loving Mother's become part of my life. I often think that my connection to loving Mother’s is part of my inevitable path to become one myself someday. My adoration of Mothers is sincere and overwhelmingly powerful. I respect and adore no other in this world more than a loving Mother who sacrifices everything to ensure the happiness and well being of her children. I found myself thinking of the amazing Mother’s that I know who’ve been my lovers or dearest friends. Each has been an amazing inspiration in my life. I'm particularly proud of my younger sister, single mother to three beautiful girls. I want to honor the amazing, truly inspirational Mother’s who’ve touched my life. They bring so much joy and love to this planet. Motherhood is such an incredible gift to be cherished. Words cannot adequately describe the grace and love of these amazing creatures. I worship all beautiful Mums. Happy Mother’s day, to the women on this planet who’s unconditional love gives us hope and inspires us to be the best we can be in this world. I truly worship and honor each of you. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY BEAUTIFUL GODDESSES!

Relationship's lessons

Charrice — Mon, 07 May 2007 02:17:56 GMT

Each relationship in our life can teach us a deeply intimate lesson about ourselves if we chose to recognize it. I believe each relationship has a purpose and if we open ourselves, the lessons we are meant to learn are right before us. Good and bad relationships teach us what we should be learning about who we are and have the potential to be. The lovers we truly let into our hearts have the greatest potential to hurt or judge us because we make ourselves so vulnerable when it comes to love and intimacy. How can you truly experience deep intimacy if you both don’t expose and share of yourself without reservation or censorship? The perception that I have amazing taste when it comes women, made me think. My choices may appear to have been based on outer beauty. The fact of the matter is that I’m drawn to energy and intellect but have always been attracted to bisexual women or males who were very in touch with their feminine energy. I do of course find myself drawn to a certain type of woman but it’s the energy she radiates, not her outward appearance that draws me to her. I do find that bisexual women often possess an open mindedness that I relate to. I have always loved beautiful, independent, free thinking, powerful women. Lovers come into our lives to teach us so many things. The right lover can teach us that making ourselves completely vulnerable is the ultimate show of trust and inner strength. We trust that we will not be judged and will be loved unconditionally. If we open ourselves to reveal our true selves we may risk judgment. Love is trust and we trust that our lover or close friend will accept us as we are even if they cannot relate to or accept our way of being. When the love is true I find myself exposing every aspect of my authentic self. These facets to my personality are often unexpected. I don’t fit into a box and I have never found a label that truly fits. I continually evolve and am happiest when people don't have particular expectations of me based on my gender or sexual preferences. I’m a rather unique woman who continually seeks enlightenment and unconditional love. I am blessed to recognize the amazing lessons each lover or friend has taught me about myself. I have been lucky enough to love some amazing women who all taught me the most valuable lessons one could ever hope for. I trust that the Goddess will eventually put my soul mate and I on a path together. In the meantime I cherish every intimate relationship in my life. Each one has its unique ups and downs, not to mention the incredible life lessons. I encourage us all to honor every relationship in our lives, for each has a special purpose. For me personally, the most intense relationships I’ve had were the one’s that taught me the most. Sexually intimate relationships can be our most powerful, vulnerable, raw, emotionaly charged relationships. Many of my romances have evolved into incredibly unique, life long friendships. My most profound relationships have each been filled with an indescribable level of honesty, passion and trust. We all have the potential to truly learn and grow from each intimate relationship in our lives. I can see each amazing lesson every lover or friend has taught me. I also continue to discover new lessons and reasons for our intimacy. I am filled with gratitude and fond memories when I ponder my most intimate relationships. I recognize and honor each amazing lover and friend in my life whose life lessons have made me who I am today.

Sisterhood

Charrice — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 03:02:58 GMT

Our sisters may be the only one's we can comfortably share the intimate details about our relationships or the graphic details of our sexual encounters with. I’m lucky to have several women I can share anything with openly and trust that I'm loved without judgements of any kind. I am completely uncensored and raw with these dear sisters. My sisters are equally open and honest with me. I believe such connections are not only incredibly healthy, but so important for our own happiness and well being. It’s amazing to be so free and hold nothing back. There’s something very liberating about sharing sexual experiences or relationship drama knowing you are appreciated for your honesty and vulnerability. It’s wonderful to get very graphic and raw with certain people in your life when you know they appreciate your trust in them. You can count on them to always keep it real with you. I am truly blessed to have a couple of sisters who I can share my sexual encounters, fantasies and even my disappointments with because these sincere women can listen compassionately without judgment. We are deeply connected due to the unequivocal fact that we do not judge each other. We embrace one another as we are and inspire each other to open our hearts and share without censorship. It’s such an amazing gift to connect with your true sisters in this life. I will always trust my sisters with everything. They each know that I will always guard their secrets and love them unconditionally. I show my vulnerability to these sisters and they nurture, embrace and empathize with me which deepens our emotional bonds, trust and friendship. Lifelong sisterhoods create my bliss and fulfill me because they are balanced, equal and profound. If you have never had a girlfriend you can share your deepest, darkest most vulnerable secrets with, then you are missing out on one of the most amazing things in life. I didn’t have these types of friendships growing up so I value them even more and wish such powerful connections for all women in the world. I can’t wait to hang out with my sisters and share. There’s never a need to censor yourself with your true sisters. They will giggle with you or tell you how screwed up you are when you need to hear it. They will cry with you or be your rock. I’m proud to be the sister to several incredible women in this world. I cherish my sisterhoods like no other relationships in my life. I’m eternally grateful for the amazing Sisters in my life. SISTERS, we are all blessed to find each other and love unconditionally. I honor and cherish all my wonderful Sisters. Love & Light, Charrice

Egocentric Behavior

Charrice — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 20:28:11 GMT

Egocentric behavior I wanted to share my perspectives on Egocentric behavior and how such behavior stops us short of achieving our dreams. Egocentric behavior tends to hold us in a fearful space filled with insecurity and self doubt. Seems to me we are conditioned from birth and even before we leave the womb. We come into a world filled with expectations around who and what we are expected to be. Girls are expected to be feminine and helpless in many ways while boys are expected to be masculine, violent and provide for the women. Men are expected to be emotionally disconnected, tough and insensitive. When they are sensitive and in touch with their feminine energy they are often labeled Gay or called pansies etc. How backwards is that? Girls are not expected to be independent but rather co-dependent with males. When women are independent, can care for and think for ourselves we are labeled undesirable or bitches. If we are in touch with our masculine we're called butch, dominant or controlling. As humans we all have masculine and feminine energies but social conditioning teaches us to focus in one one depending on our gender. Why would anyone want to discount half of who they are inside rather than honoring how we were created? I realize this is a generalization but I’ve experienced it enough to know that it still exists in this world. Many of us strive to be more enlightened and raise children to be individuals outside of social expectations. It's a tremencous challenge given the level social conditioning and expecaton in the world today. Some parents may not project these expectations themselves (oh but so many still do) but the world most certainly does. It’s difficult to counteract such expectations that continually flood our world. Our egos themeselves create so much insecurity and confusion. Only when we learn to step outside of our own ego as well as the social conditions placed upon us from birth, can we move into our authentic selves. Free of ego, we can be who we were meant to be rather than who the world, our family, friends, colleagues or strangers think we should be. Think of children and how they relate in the world before they learn about all of the social conditions that are placed upon them. They experience life authentically with absolutely no concerns over what others will think of them. They do not care if they look silly nor do they hold back from doing things because they might do it “wrong” and therefore be judged. They will try anything without concerns over never having done it before or what anyone might think. We can learn everything from these beautifully innocent creatures before they are corrupted and taught to be insecure. Only when we lose our innocence do we begin to prevent ourselves from doing things that may be viewed negatively. We fear judgment so we conform or don't try at all. Children haven’t yet been conditioned to concern themselves with the perceptions of others. This behaviour is taught to them not inborn. Adults are not only guilty of this but they also project this onto their children by teaching them that there’s a right and wrong way to do things. I would prefer to teach individuality and an awareness of the social standards, and then leave it to the individual to decide their own beliefs. In my personal life I have managed to step outside of certain expectations but it’s never an easy task. One thing that is helpful is learning not to look to others for approval and to be your true self. As a woman I’m expected to fit into a certain criteria. By disregarding the social expectations as well as those from my Mother, I’ve become a very happy and healthy person. If I did not do break free to become my authentic self I would constantly question where I fit in socially. Instead I have a very healthy self image and know that I have special gifts to bring to the world. I watch people around me often suffering because their egocentric behavior creates confusion and a sense of unhappiness or dissatisfaction. My belief is that it’s the egocentric behavior itself is that causes their negative experiences. When they make situations about themselves rather than understanding nothing is about them. Taking things personally is guaranteed to create disappointment and insecurity. We believe so much that takes place is about US, but nothing is about us as individuals. We are not the center of the universe individually and nothing that happens is about us, yet we all seem to take things so personally. Step back next time you feel hurt and look at the reasons, I bet you that you took someone's actions or responses personally. Once you realize nothing is ever really personal or about you but rather it's about the person themselves rather than you, one realizes it's our ego trying to create fear and doubt again. Once ego is removed there’s no room for disappointment or unhappiness. You realize everything is about that person and how they relate in the world, not about you. This is great way of living is one I’ll continally strive for. When I accept that everything isn’t about me, my fear and insecurity slowly disappear to make way for an open, more enlightened way of being. Namaste-Charrice

HAPPY 420!

Charrice — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 17:12:09 GMT

High Everyone!! Just wanted to say Happy 420. . .to some of my favorite "buds!" http://apartment618.blogspot.com/2005/10/history-of-420.html

The Power of Trust

Charrice — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 03:22:36 GMT

I thought I’d share my thoughts on the power of mutual trust If we can open ourselves intimately to a deep level of trust the connection created can be profoundly sublime and intensely erotic. If you truly believe that there is nothing you cannot share with a person that they would ever judge you for, the need to be anything other than your authentic self suddenly vanishes. I enjoy the deep passionate bonds that can be created through sexually intimate connections because I think we are our must vulnerable selves during such intimacy, particularly one on one with a lover. We share things with our lovers that we might not ever share with another soul. These are the particularly delightful secrets I enjoy the most as I understand how this exposes a person. Fear of judgment can easily prevent a deep level of intimacy between two people. Being completely open and sharing your most intimite secrets can create a bond unlike any other I have known. There’s something completely liberating about trusting a lover implicitly. A freedom that ignites your passion, driving you to your limits edges and beyond. The edges that we cannot deny exist within which are accentuated by our lover’s ability to embrace us so completely and free of any judgment what so ever. This is how I see the trust coming alive and shaping a passionate relationship. Next to love, Trust is the most precious gift one can give or receive. When it’s given to you without reservation it can have a profound affect and you can quickly share a uniquely intimate bond. The value of a person’s absolute trust is infinite. For me love and trust are meant to be in perfect harmony and balance. When that happens your relationship ascends to a level that no other relationship quite can. Trust really is the key to true intimacy and in order to have absolute trust, honesty is essential. Once you have these magnificent qualities between you how can love not follow naturally? For me it does. Love and Trust can become entertwined so naturaly that they become one. LOVE is the real POWER of TRUST for me.

Happiness is a state of mind

Charrice — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 05:52:39 GMT

We spend infinite energy seeking happiness and joy in our lives. Once we've experienced happiness we seem to spend our lives trying to recapture that feeling. All the things we choose to believe will bring us happiness are not the true keys to fulfillment. We think that it's the perfect job that will bring us joy or the soulmate we spend our lives seeking that will make our life perfect. Some even believe it's a material possession that will bring them true happiness. Happiness is a wonderful emotion but pain, sorrow, fear and disappointment are equally important emotions. We can learn so much more about our authentic selves by paying close attention to our inner voices, feelings, emotions and responses. When we move through undesired emotions gracefully we come through them stronger, wiser and much more self aware. We all want to be loved and liked by our peers, friends, family and particularly potential lovers or soulmates. We can subconciously try to fit into the mold of what we think they want us to be while in the process losing sight of our true selves. Disappointment occurs in new relationships if we are not our true selves from the start. They fall in love with an idealistic person rather than the real you. What is created are negative emotions and disappointment as we may feel the person was not being their authentic self but rather trying to fit into the mold created by another. Happiness is a choice while fear, insecurity, lonliness, pain and sorrow are the emotions we don't choose but they are equally valuable although less desirable. Our reactons to these feelings are what make us unique. We don't have to let those emotions drag us down or hold us in a space where we cannot move forward to achieve our dreams. We can simply choose to honor the emotion, let is teach us something about ourselves and grow from the experience. I am strangely drawn to those with dark thoughts and anti social behavior. I believe it's because I see through those modes of self protection. I suppose this could also be a kindred spirit connection as I grew up completely closed off from friends and emotional bonds. I want to help those who have such a difficult time reaching out because I never had anyone do that for me. Choose to be happy and joyful within as many moments as possible but know that no one can be happy every waking moment. Find the special lessons from the undesired emotions we feel. Life is amazing and so is human nature. I love all my misunderstood friends who have often proven to be the most loving and loyal friends in the world. Namaste-Charrice

Letting go of expectation

Charrice — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 03:17:26 GMT

Recently I’ve come to accept a personal truth. When I cling too tightly to an idea or expectation it creates so much opportunity for disappointment. Who can live up to the expectations we assimilate in our minds? I’ve learned that if I have no expectations and can live in the moment my joy and fulfillment is assured. It’s only when I have a preconception of how I think things should be, how a person should respond to me or how an interaction should play out, do I create an opportunity for disappointment. It’s a completely self imposed disappointment stemming from the idealistic notion I had in my head. I also recognize that my notions are all full of love and good intentions but that doesn’t make the timing or situation right for pre-conceived conceptions. I am amused by my own observations as well as the spiritual paths that lie before me. I know how amazing it is to be blessed with a desire to grow and learn from everyone. Life is such an unpredictable gift to be cherished. I cannot wait for my next connection as I truly find the most satisfaction in the emotional bonds created through friendship and intimacy. There’s something about opening up and making yourself vulnerable that opens the doors to our authentic selves which I cannot describe in a blog. All I can say for certain is that being vulnerable is the most liberating emotion I can describe but also the most frightening. The strength one must find within themselves to be truly vulnerable is the kind of quiet strength that I am continually seeking in others and working towards myself. I’m amazed at how much I’ve grown in this regard. So few who know me today would ever have a clue about how completely closed off and mis-guided I have been previously. I’ve been truly blessed to have the history I do because it allows me to see what’s true with kindred spirits who are also survivors. I think that kindred spirits find each other which is why I cherish certain friendships more than words could ever express. The kindred spirit connection is powerful and we know it when it happens. I encourage the amazing kindred spirits in my life today to drop me a note, give me a call or simply remember our connection and let it bring a smile to your face. Our connection is life long and profound. Time or distance has no affect on our bond or friendship. Don’t be surprised if I reach out to you my amazing kindred spirits… Have a fabulous week. Live, love and laugh- Charrice

how you see me

Charrice — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 14:23:28 GMT

you see the real me looking beyond what others see you know exactly what is true just how much I love you I see what is in your heart I know what you really feel You are me and I am you together we are free, seperated lonely by Charrice March 30, 2007

the dark of morning

Charrice — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 13:18:20 GMT

I awoke to a darkened sky this morning. The stars were still cloaked in the shade of night. I suddenly realized the sunlight will be with us longer during this time of the the year that I love so much. Life reminds me with each passing, precious moment what is truly important. The trivial things that are so unimportant often obscure our ability to see what truly matters. I'm blessed to have the loving friendships that make life special. I do find sadness seeping into my heart when I am not given time to be in the presence of such amazing, loving, wise and giving friends but time and distance certainly do not affect powerful friendships. It's a gift to spend time with those you love and those who inspire you. I'm particularly fond of the friends that remind me to look deep inside and reflect, to love unconditionally and embrace every new challenge set on our paths. It's how we deal with the challenges that shape us, help us grow and teach us more about ourselves and those friends we adore. I open myself to my own fulfillment, my path to enlightenment and love. I impart my gratitude to the Goddess for all the amazing friendships I now have as well as those that will enter into my life and guide me closer to my dreams. We all need the support of such friends even when life is flawless and there is no drama. It's those times I enjoy sharing my joy but we really recognize the value of uncondional love and friendship when we are down, distraught or overwhelmed. I always want to reach out with love and understanding and extend my patience, kindness and support to those friends who need it the most. It all comes back to me ten fold and it is I who learn more about myself through the giving and support. Anxious for a new, precious day to begin I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude for all the love in my life. I miss the friends who's lives are so hectic they are overwhelmed but we all have those times and we must trust that life will slow down eventually. Keep moving towards your dreams and remember to share your joy and/or disappointments with the ones you trust. It helps us realize none of us are alone and we are all one. The world is filled with illusions, so much is placed on us from birth that is not our true path or belief and we spend our lives counteracting what is so deeply ingrained from birth. I'm finding my own way and slowly learning how true this is for all of us. When I become overwhelmed emotionally, I realize it's the illusion that I am supposed to be something I think I should that creates the disappointment in myself. When I look deeper I realize I am already the person I want to be and it's a challenge to let go of these expecations. None of us are alone , we are all connected. Enjoy the beauty of a new day and get out into the world for that extra day light we are given these months of the year. I know I'll be out enjoying as much of the day as I'm allowed outside of my 9-5. It's absolutely gorgeous in Santa Cruz. I spent 2 hours walking and soaking up all the beauty yesterday. It was a gorgeous summer like day in Santa Cruz, the beautiful town that has my heart... Live, Love, Laugh-Charrice

Crystal Midnight Moonlight

Charrice — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 18:21:53 GMT

I woke up to the most gorgeous sunrise. As I gazed out from the gorlious bay window, a pink hazy sky captured my attention with it's radiant beauty and serene energy. The peace and tranquility of the mountain is just breathtaking Sunday mornings. It's hard to leave the comfort of bed while gazing upon the beauty of the earth. I stepped out onto the deck and was immediately drawn to the shimmering sunlight dancing off the tips of the beautiful crystals that bathed beneath the full moon last night. These special little crystal beings received a gentle cleansing submerged in ocean water, that I lovingly collected from one of my favorite beautiful beaches in Santa Cruz yesterday. The moonlight gently cascaded down from the dark blue evening sky, as the stars twinkled bright. The brilliant full moon in all it's glory, illuminated the star filled sky with all it's powerful radiance. I could not resist bathing beneath Her myself. Residual energy was washed away to refresh and rejuvenate these crystals who had lost their brightness. These healing beings needed my love and nurturing, care and attention. The midnight moonlight washed over them to reveal their luster once more. I'm grateful for these crystal beings who's healing energy will surround me and fill my home. They cast off their loving light throughout my humble home and surround me with their healing energy. Now the glorious sun is spreading her warmth and beauty throughout the day and she has inspired me to embrace a new day, full of life's wonder.

My eyes see the beauty of my relflections

Charrice — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 04:45:35 GMT

Some of our closest relationships, be them intimate, emotional or both, can teach us things about ourselves we could never learn in solitude. If we never put ourselves at risk for pain in order to experience the joy and passion of love. I know some may choose to keep their guards up emotionally for fear of being hurt by love. I prefer to take my chances in love and intimacy in order to experience it to it’s depths. I did fear love growing up and did not allow myself to love completely. Once I learned to love myself everything changed. I’ve blossomed into an emotionally connected, intimately evolved person. I enjoy living to my passionate potential. My willingness to open my heart to absolute chaos, pain and potential heartbreak is incredible growth for me. The rewards I receive in return easily warrant the risk in my mind. We cannot open ourselves to love without also equally opening ourselves to pain. Love is unquestionably full of pain and confusion. It is also passionate and can be filled with unfathanable trust and honesty. It’s what we spend our lives seeking. My closest, most intimate relationships have always catapulted my emotional growth much further than I could have ever done alone. They have caused me the most pain in my heart, created the most confusion in my mind and spun me around emotionally until I forgot which way was (momentarily) up. Once I do step outside the emotional upheaval and start to analyz my emotional responses, everything is illuminated in my mind. The lessons become crystal clear for me. This is only achieved through absolute honesty with myself and a willingness to step outside of my ego (not as easy is it sounds) and accept the truths I discover. I must take responsibility for my own choices and actions. Blaming others doesn’t illuminate anything but it will cloud our minds and disguise our personal truths. I strive to be conscious of my true feelings and innermost self but that process is life-long. Each intimate connection I have opens up a world full of lessons that gently guide me back onto my spiritual path. Just when I think I know myself, I’m suddenly faced with a brand new lesson or reflection of self. It’s then I realize there are many emotional layers to be peeled back to reveal our true selves. We must accept and embrace them all but understand we have the power to change behavior and ways of thinking if we so choose. The path that love and passion can distract us from, if we are not paying attention to our inner voices, our true feelings or what’s in our hearts. When my patience is tested or I become overly emotional about an issue I have to step back. When I take two steps back and look inside myself I find that the person I am so close to is showing something of myself that I need to see. Our friends and lovers can be mirrors that reflect back our own personality traits. If I am honest, I can look at their actions and see myself. This is particularly hard to accept when you don’t like what you’re being shown about yourself. I recognize these reflections in my life and think they are such an amazing gift. Our most unflattering qualities are more difficult to see and accept but they are revealed. I believe our most beautiful, loving and tender qualities are also brought into light. All we need to do is open our eyes. My most loving qualities as well as my most annoying traits are revealed to me through my close relationships. I’ve been shown what an articlate, honest communicator I can be. I recognize what a wonderfully ethical and down to earth woman I have become. I see how patient, kind and understanding I tend to be in most situations. I don't always see these things in myself, as I focus my energy on my own growth and ability to change the behaviors that don't serve me well . I spent so many years working hard to become the person I wanted to be that I didn’t fully notice it when I became that person. When you work through self loathing and a lack of intimate, loving relationships growing up, one realizes we will never stop trying to change and grow into that ethical, loving person we always wanted to be. I must accept that I am that person now but I must continually grow and change in order to become the enlightened loving woman, gentle mother, supportive sister, loyal friend and passionate lover I dreamt I would be one day. We can all choose to be the person we want to be in life. We can create the change in the world we want to see. We can become the person we looked up to or wished to emulate as a child. The choice is ours to make. I have never had any regrets for the choices I have made to love so openly without limitation or expectation. I grow tremendously through pain and intimacy. I'm not consumed by my intimate relationships and use reflection and solitude to my own emotional advantage in order to evolve. I love passionately when mutual trust is powerful. When respect and love runs deep I'm more fulfilled. I do not hold back and am capable of creating deep emotional bonds but I’ll always strive to open myself further and make myself more vulnerable with each relationship. That inner desire and consciousness is precisely why I am able to learn so much from my intimate relationships. It’s always wonderful to be shown how beautiful you are while at the same time being shown things about your personality, responses, behavior or ways you relate in the world that can be improved upon. It's such a gift to be shown reflectons of ourselves through our friendships and romances. One who's importance in my life and spiritual growth cannot be adequately expressed in words. It is shown in the way I change and move more into my true self. I am the woman I always wanted to be! I am bursting with love and a desire to evolve spiritually. I try to be more understanding and patient. I open myself up to learn from each person I love and trust. I have a deeply ingrained passion for life and love, peace and harmony. I believe the risk of love and true intimacy is the best chance you can take in this life. It is always worth every intense emotion or feeling we can experience and share together.

Kali Ma, Dark Goddess

Charrice — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:27:45 GMT

I was blessed and honored to be guided through a Kali Ma, mediation for release last night. It was a new, very poweful experience for me on my spiritual path. The Priestes, Mary Samantha of Avalon, is wonderfully knowledgible, patient, kind and loving. She welcomed me into her circle of Priesteses in training, which was truly an honor. She has already taught me a great deal about this dark Goddess and her ability to devour ego and fear. Kali Ma, devours ego and illusion among other things. Everything is an illusion that prevents us from reaching our fulfillment, as it's always been right there before us if we only ask for it. The balance of light and dark energy within us all is essential. Dark energy is within us whether we choose to see and accept it or not. I choose to embrace that dark energy and harness it for the good of all. but I will surely need guidance and more knowledge along my path in order to do so. This mediation was instrumental in my letting go and moving from my dark energy into my light energy, transforming from Crone to Maiden energy. I've personally called forth dark energy and asked for Kali's guidance and she has answered my call more than once. I'm eternally grateful for her energy and love. She swallows our fears, doubts, anger, pain and negativity so that we may move towards our fulfillment. She devours ego and illusion. I am anxious to learn much more about this beauitiful, dark "Mother", Goddess Kali Ma. In honor of all that she has swallowed for me and the love she has bestowed upon me I ingratiate myself and surrender to her without reservation. She's ugly & beautiful, dark & loving and one Goddess I'm deeply connected to. love & light Charrice "Oh Dark Goddess, Kali Ma You are eternity itself, the Devourer No one exists apart from you I worship you as my innermost self I succumb to you joyfully as you help me discover my true being You are existence itself I celebrate and worship you through meditation, dance and prayer I surrender to you, the ultimate Divinity Oh dark, beautiful Goddess, Kali Ma"

Lifelong Friendships

Charrice — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 03:27:54 GMT

Friendships are some of the most meaningful connections we can create and nurture in our lives. I've been reminded lately, of just how blessed I am in the realm of true friendship. Some have evolved from deeply passionate intimate relationships, as well as true heart connections with kindred spirits. They are defined by love, acceptance, compassion, honesty, vulneraibilty and emotional support. I find myself wanting nothing more than to nurture and support those I love without expectation. Challenging friendships often bring frustration which increases our need to be patient , understanding and non judgemental. We must let go of expectations and accept our friends as they are. I was profoundly touched by the words of a dear and wise friend who reminded me that we all need forgiveness, understanding and compassion. Long time friends can test our patience at times but if we can come from a place of unconditional love and acceptance we can step outside of our disappointment and accept the limitations of our dear friends. True friendship doesn't judge or have expectation. It allows you to be yourself, to make mistakes, to say the wrong thing, to drink too much, to blow up, to be an idiot, to be a bitch and to be incredibly honest. Heart connections inspire our vulnerability and open-ness. That is what separerates them from casual acquaintances and colleagues. I can share my darkest fears or my most joyous experiences. I can expose myself without concern of judgement or fear that anything I ever do or say can change the friendship. My appreciation of such lifelong, powerful friendships may stem from being so deprived of them. I have grown into the kind of loving and loyal friend I always wanted to be. That has drawn into my life, equally loving and loyal friends. To all my amazing life long friends, l love and adore you all. I accept you as you are! I will always work through the little issues that arise. My friendship is steady, tried and true. My unconditional love and loyalty can be a becon when darkness unfolds in your life. I'm committed to evolving with each friend. I strive to keep my heart open and love you as you are. I have learned that each person has their own capabilities which are not always in line with my own. I choose to nurture, love and accept my friends. In return I recieve the honor of true friendship and unconditional love. Friendship is a gift this lonely child never had growing up. Love flows into my life abundantly with no limit to the depth of the connection. It is only for us to decide how deep we want to go. I honor and celebrate all my uniquely loving friendships and thank the Goddess for helping me grow into a woman who can reach out to create these connections or accept them when offered. I do not hold back and expose my most vulnerable side to those I trust as friends. I hope I inspire those in my life to open themselves up similarly. I'm blessed with an intuitive nature that can feel love and sincerity. My friendships make me the happy, healthy and grateful woman I am today. Thank you all my special lifelong friends. I adore you all and each of you bring me something unique and special. Live and love passionately- Charrice