So I was in a car accident last friday night about 11pm.
Three of us were heading out on the road to the trail head at ozette lake, and had just turned off st rd 112 about a half mile when we hit some black ice at 30mph. Chris was driving i was passenger front and my girlfriend Kristin passenger back. Chris had regained control of the car at first, and then we hit more ice cause all the wheels started moving sideways. The car lurched forward finally after grabbing hold, and then shot us straight toward the cliff in front of us. Chris tried to turn again so the car fish tailed, and we slid sideways off the road into the ravine.
After the car started flipping over the pain started immediately from the first 360. We slammed down really hard 3 times that I could remember but later the sheriff that showed up said it was 5 times. I kept wondering when we were going to stop i was thinking ok stop now after each major hit, and it seemed to go on forever each time just as painful. We even went free fall for probably a split second but it lasted forever in my mind. I kept trying to see what was going on but it was all blurry, and so my vision couldnt keep up after we first flew off the edge missing a tree by less than a foot. I remember sliding off the cliff with the driver side first facing backward from the direction we were going, and winding up upside down facing the direction we were going.
I tried focusing on the window next to me but all I saw was sky dirt sky dirt sky dirt. Weird thing was it seemed like the inside of the car was lit up the whole time this was happening. So I could see my legs and arms flying around even though they were not in focus.
Once the car stopped rolling I had no idea if we were still going to fall or not. I thought maybe a tree was holding us up or we were on the edge of another cliff. I dont know how I was able to spin around in the seat belt while upside down and undo myself. The window was intact so I had to roll it down lucky for us it was a manual not electric window. I climbed out and then realized we werent going anywhere cause we landed on the river bank instead of in the river ,and since it was 20 something degrees out that was a major advantage. If we had landed in the river upside down I would not be writing this, and even if we had just wound up wet we would have wound up with hypothermia.
Once we all climbed out we were all really calm considering what happened. I checked Myself for injuries first and then checked Chris and Kristin after. I checked for blood in the ears and both of there pupils for dilation to make sure they didnt have brain injuries. We started talking about how we needed to pull gear out of the car since we were about 45 minutes from the nearest hospital in forks.
We had no choice but to climb out of the river up the 60ft of frozen dirt, and start hiking to at least a place to call for help there was no signal were we crashed. As we figured out what to get out of the car chris and kristin decided they really needed a smoke break. I started rummaging thru the car to pull out things we could use, and almost everything that was in the back of the car was now on the front dash. We had been riding in a volvo station wagon and our packs and other stuff had been throw forward on to the ceiling. Lucky for Kristin our heavy packs got caught up on the back seats and didnt slam into her while flipping. There was some food we bought all over the car.
Chris pulled out his ice axe from his gear, and started scaling the cliff to find out what we had to get back up. We had planned on going snow camping at first but wound up deciding to go to the beach sense it was "safer". Once we found out it was about 60ft we figured out we could climb it. So even though we didnt know if we had serious neck injuries we had to climb back to the road, or we would have froze waiting for help that would have never come for us. We left some of our gear on the side of the road cause it was to heavy to haul with us, and started walking back the way we came. We walked the half mile back before we could barely get a signal on chris's phone kristin and mine didnt work at all. So we called the police and an officer showed up and went to look at the wreck site with chris while we waited for them to come back. The sheriff acted way different when he came back he was super nice to us. He told chris it was one of the worst accidents he had ever seen, and that he couldnt believe all three of us walked away from it alive. He said he would have expected three corpses, and this cop wasnt a rookie either. The officer decided to call an ambulance for us and they shipped us off to forks which was 45mins away. The rest was not as interesting so I will spare the details of that.
Anyway Im happy to be alive and pretty beat up internally but ok.

Ok so I cant do this alone I need help to pull this off. My plan is to start hanging out with people that I dont spend enough time around. I dont go out drinking or to restaurants cause for one, I dont drink much and two, I dont have money for stuff like that.

I would like to start hanging out with people @ free places like the Frye art museum, or parks, or just sit in a room playing Mr Bungle and drawing stick figures of zombie sock puppets.

Problem is most people dont go out very often including myself, so I figure coming up with a where and when will be a start. If anyone wants to show up thats great if no one shows up It wont hurt my feelings. I have done my share of no shows in seattle and thats why I try not to make definite plans cause shit happens.


This way people cant get mad @ me for not seeing me anymore. If you want to hangout with me then meet me half way.
Later
Sean

1) "Those who fear anarchy and seek law and order should
know that all life is in perfect order and natures law
is never broken...
it is only our primitive human structures that are in disarray.

Those who fear authority and seek personal freedom
should know that every living creature is free to follow its
will and that the only authority it need ever obey is vested
in that will.

If your life lacks order, it is because you have not yet
accepted natures order,"gods" order.

If you do not feel free, it is because you have not yet
declared your own freedom, you are waiting for it to be
given to you.

You will wait forever."



2) "Homo sap, that creature who believes his purpose is to
control and conquer Nature, is just now beginning to
remember the obvious---that he is a part of Nature himself.


He has fought his way to the top of the planetary spinal cord,
inflicting damage every step of the way. Now,
bewildered, he looks around: What am I doing here?

Assuming responsibility, answers a still, small voice all around him."


3) "Its all up to you.
You are completely responsible for your life.
You are the creator.
Its an awesome burden and a great freedom.

Its all up to you.
When you take responsibility for one life, you assume
responsibility for all life.
If you fail to take responsibility for your life, you
do not exist.
Tough, isnt it?

When you finally realize how really tough it is, when
you finally accept life, when you finally find there is
no way out but self-awareness and the incredible pain and
loneliness and responsibility it brings, then and only
then will you begin to be alive, and begin to know the
joy of freedom."

1= "Guilt is a form of self-hatred.
Also of self-indulgence.
No one benefits from your feeling guilty.
Except you-you use guilt to shield yourself
from the pain of awareness.
When you short-circuit your energy,
you cheat us all.
Then use that as excuse for further short-circuiting.
There is a way out of this trap.
Dont feel guilty.
Dont cop out.
Accept responsibility for your actions.
Do whats right.
Dont live in the past.
Learn from the past.
Do right in the present."



2= "If you let go, something will happen.
Fear is always anticipation of the unknown.
Most human energy flow problems relate to
the inability to relax.
Fear of letting go.
If you let go, something will happen.
Fear of the unknown.
Rational mind::wants to make a deal::
first tell me what will happen,
and then I'll let go.
Fuck You.
No one knows whats going to happen.
Ever.
The future--next moment--is unknowable--unknown.
Rational mind wont believe that.
He is afraid to."


3= "What is this word "efficiency"?
Sometimes it seems a close cousin to Death.
We are encouraged not to linger, not to enjoy life,
to hurry up and get it done so well have time
for something else.
Something else?
What?

Efficiency the destroyer, millions upon millions of
living dead, done in by the electric can-opener
and the automobile.
Progress is our most important product,
babies are our business,
time is money,
life is cheap.

Modern technology, modern business, the modern state
give us everything we need

except breathable air, drinkable water, edible food,
meaningful work, freedom from fear, freedom to love,
freedom to be ourselves, courage, pride, friendship,
hope.
The moral of the story is:dont be in such a hurry.
Beware creeping efficiency.
Slow down and live."

DAS ENERGI by Paul Williams