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I'm a pretty tolerant person, but I tend to get hopping mad when people mess with freedom of speech. Like this crap with the flagged viewing content going on in lj_biz, so soon on the tail of that strikethrough garbage.



Since when is it MY duty to police myself or anyone else for other people's kids? It is the job of the parents to make sure their kids aren't reading or viewing 'offensive' things on the internet, and frankly, they're going to see stuff like this sooner or later anyway.



You can't honestly think the world should be childproofed for the sake of a few irresponsible prudes who should be better parents. Instead've flouncing around pretending to moral outrage they should be home relating to their kids. Their crappy parenting and pseudo morals are of no interest to me, and I despise how weak LJ is to pander to these obnoxious assholes like WFI and their ilk.

Today's my birthday! Which means that I am unique today in that I've survived another year (well, ok, AS unique as every other November 30th Saggitarius out there, but you get the idea).





Somewhere out there in postal-land, my mom got me some new boots. I got myself the Nirvana Unplugged DVD (which, again is arriving in the mail somewheres) and I'm probably going to order me a BPAL imp or two.



My friend Z got me a pencilcase and is picking up tickets for Rob Zombie, who is playing in January.



Later we're going to get sushi, too.



I've been a bit depressed the last few days though. Mostly topical stuff- the cold weather, people leaving town, the pharmacist at the drugstore taking FOREVER to fill my script... but it's a sunny day for once today, and although it's probably cold as a witch's teat at least there's some light.



Aah...but what makes me unique.

Well....



If I do nothing for all of 2008, which I don't plan to do, I still have my whole life to look back over. Which I do. Sometimes too often.



I remember being in NY in the 80s, and between VT and WA state in the 90s- catching some damn good bands live and going to Rainbow Gatherings, and poetry slams on the Lower East Side. I've seen the Ramones. I've seen Nirvana. I've seen Phish. Most of them before most of the folk I know ever even heard of them.



I've been a dj twice- once at Goddard college, and once on a lovely if short lived college station. I wrote a zine that carried on for almost 30 issues, a number of long stories (didn't do NaNoWriMo like I planned this month but... oh well.), who knows how many poems, and a few songs I'm still proud of.



I'm still, even now, hosting a music show on public access.



So again, even if this is my last birthday, I can safely say I've had a life.



I doubt this is my last birthday though.



I got plans, man.

I'm going to go up to Toronto this Xmas to see David. I'm going to probably go to Athens GA sometime this upcoming winter and go see my friend Mary.



I'd like very much to go to the Morningstar Ministries thing for New Years, and I doubt I'll find the money to do that, but who knows? maybe someone will help pull it together for me, and if I have my little way I'm going to go to the IHOP harp and bowl thing sometime before next spring as well.



I'd like to go to a Rainbow regional this coming summer.



I'm unique because I'm still going, in spite of diabetes, in spite of arthritis, I'm still looking forward.



Besides, even if most of my other friends have moved, Jesus still loves me. This I know. :-D

uGfr ?

ooh-loo-gee-duh? is Cherokee for cloud, apparently. ^_^



I'm not sure I'm bothering with the NaNoWriMo at this point. it's not like I can't write 50,000 words in a month- I have before. I just don't feel right now I have anything I want to write about.



Maybe later in the winter I'll think of stuff I want to write, but I really do hate deadlines.



So...



The other night was the Producers' Dinner at VCAM.



There were some lovely little salmon hors-d'oeuvres, and later for dessert they had little mini cream eclairs and pineapple cheesecake. The dinner as usual was pretty bland though.



We ended up mostly hanging about with Tom Azarian, and later Gordon Gaynor gave us a lift home.



Tonight we're gonna go over to Tim's.

[Famous Meeting]

If you could only meet one famous person, dead or alive, for the rest of your life, who would it be? I was a zine writer on and off for a time, a DJ, and I host a music show on public access.

That said, I've already met a lot of famous people.



What would you say to him/her?

I usually ask what music influenced them most when they were younger, and what they're listening to now. I mean, if I like a band enough that I'm going to interview them, it stands to reason they might have good enough taste that they can turn me on to something I haven't heard yet, and maybe that will be the next favourite band I have.







[Cell Phone]

How long have you had your current phone? I've never kept up with the trends when it comes to gadgets. I have a landline, with no answering machine or service. Email suits me best, because I can answer it when I feel like it.Often phones only annoy me, and I certainly wouldn't want to be easily available at all times.



What’s your current ring tone for a text message alert? If I had a text messenger or pager, I'd probably want "Mail Me" by Haruka Momoi on it. For the irony, of course.



From whom have you missed the most calls? bill collectors, I expect.



To whom have you sent the most text messages? I probably email Tim more than anyone, as he is one of those sorts who emails me all the time. As I'm almost never at my phone and such, it's the only way I can know what those guys are doing on a daily basis.



Of all the people on your phone, who do you talk to the least? I keep a list of phone numbers on my wall, but a lot of my friends have fallen out of touch, ie, gotten lives and suchlike. You just don't 'hang out' as much as an adult, I've found. It's sad.





[Relationships]

Are you happy with your current relationship status? Nah, I'd like to see someone regularly, but I'm also not really searching hard, because I also know maintaining that kind of relationship takes a lot of work. What I'd really like is more friends I can hang out with during the week.



Have you ever been in a relationship with someone while you had feelings for someone else? Yes. It was sort of annoying. When I first met Alex he was dating this chick named Julie, and I was with Jojo. Jojo was always flirting with other people, but she got flipped out when I started talking to Alex all the time at the cafeteria. She ended up huffing out and going to California.

About a month later Alex sure enough ended up moving in with me, but we never really 'went out' per se.



Of all your exes, who do you keep in touch with the most? A lot of my exes are dead, actually. It's kind of weird. I mean, I guess maybe not, as I mostly dated roaddogs and older dudes? The life cycle on such tends to be kinda short.



[Movies]

What was your favorite movie when you were seven? The person I got the meme from said 'Wizard of Oz'. Mine probably was too. I don't remember, really. I must have seen 'Yellow Submarine' when I was a little kid. I saw a lot of old Hammer and Vincent Price horror movies. I had a bit of a kid crush on Danny Kaye, maybe it was one of his.



What’s your favorite movie now? I don't know. I kinda like cerebral but pop culturey things- Fight Club, Donnie Darko, stuff like that. Whenever I'm about to make a major life change I rewatch Dead Man by Jim Jarmusch. I still like Wizard of Oz muchly. I guess I can't limit myself to one favourite.





What was the last movie you rented/pirated? The roomie watches scads of horror, so it was one of those. Catacombs, Cello? something like one of those.



Name one movie that made you cry. I don't cry at movies much. I think I cried over All Dogs go to Heaven at one time, but it may have been because of something going on in my life when I saw it, actually.



What’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? I don't like comedies much. I laugh at incidentally funny stuff in more serious flicks.



Quote a line from a good movie you’ve seen. "Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like 'plate' or 'shrimp' or 'plate of shrimp', out of the blue, no explanation. No point in looking for one either; it's all part of the cosmic unconsciousness."- fr. Repo Man



What upcoming movie do you really, really want to see?

-Repo:Genetic Opera

-Sweeney Todd

-Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Oh yeah! those will all be awesome, mark my words.



[Elementary School]

What games did you play at recess? I was awfully fond of watching ants. Other kids would come over and stomp out my anthills, so I would bite them on the leg.



Were you the bully, bullied, or neither? A bit of both, actually.



Who was president at the time? I can't remember. Nixon, perhaps?



Name one famous event that happened while you were in elementary school. Last one must be Nixon, cos I remember the Watergate stuff on the radio.



Did you eat the food from the cafeteria? Or did you bring your own lunch? both at various times; I also sometimes went home.





[Your Job(s)]

What job(s) do you have? At the moment? Nothing worth mentioning.



What’s one job you wish you could have? I wish to be in a think tank in a high paying company, so I could get paid for my wacky pipe dream ideas and, more cool, see them realised as actual objects.





[People]

Who’s the star of your favorite TV show? All my favourite shows are long over. It was a toss in BtVS who was cooller, Anthony Stewart-Head or James Marsters, and I liked X-Files up until the two new agents became the regs. David Duchovny as Mulder made that show. It all fell apart when he lost interest.



Who was the last person you had a face-to-face conversation with? Z'ela, I expect; I see him the most. Of the people I don't see every day it was probably Bill Simmons, because I was at VCAM yesterday.

I also talked to the waitress at FuDa, but not for all that long.



Do you remember the name of the waiter/waitress from the last restaurant you ate at? I don't tend to ask names, but I remember faces. Most of the restaurants I eat at the waitstaff are fans of my TV show, so they tend to hullo me rather than the other way around.



Who was on the cover of the last magazine or newspaper you read? I was reading an article on the show Death Note, so I guess Light was.He's a cartoon character though, so that may not count. I picked up a wrestling mag with The Undertaker on the cover solely because he was on the cover, but I didn't have time to thumb through it before some friends came.



Who sings your current favorite song?

I don't know. I change favourite songs almost once an hour.



Who do you talk to the most on an average day? That would probably be Z'ela.





[Holidays]

What did you go as last Halloween? Last Hallowe'en is now only a few weeks ago. I went as The Crow for the umpteenth time, because I never feel like it's Hallowe'en when it is, ergo I never pull a costume together in time.Before I ever saw The Crow my 'fall back on' costume tended to be to wear the same makeup as Peter Gabriel during his 'Shock the Monkey' playtime tour.



Do you have a costume in mind for this Halloween? That's a long way off.



What did you do this past 4th of July? Nothing at all. If and when I'm around people who go for it, I enjoy blowing stuff up as much as the next Amerikan. But.. I don't like to waste money, and don't have easy transport to go purchase or watch fireworks anyplace special, so I have to be prompted to celebrate this holiday.



How did you discover the truth about Santa Clause? No idea. Maybe my mom knows this story.



Do you get drunk on St. Patty’s? Rarely, as I don't do many holidays and I don't drink very often either. St. Patty's I tend to leave alone; I'm lucky if I remember it and wear green. As for drunkeness and holidays it's not high on my to-do list. Howev Mardi Gras, New Years and Cinco de Mayo best watch out.



Where do you go on Thanksgiving? I've no family locally, so if one of my friends decides to do one up, I'll go if I can get to it.There's also a free lunch at Sweetwaters, and so I usually go to that. I cook my own turkey before or after the actual holiday, so as I can get any last minute things without the hecticness and lack of open stores.







[Family]

Where does your furthest living relative live? No idea. Much of my family is estranged.



What does your oldest uncle/aunt do for a living? The only aunt I knew has passed on. My uncle is a Jehovah's witness, last I heard.



Are any of your relatives famous? My father, whose chronic lying is probably legend amongst my friends by now, would have me believe I'm related to Pocohantes somewhere back there. However almost every Indian I've ever met says the same. I'm pretty sure she wasn't Cherokee and I'd hope not so slutty as to be related to every Indian I've ever met.

Insofar as I know I probably don't, but if my mom wants to add commentary, she should go for it. :D



Who do you see more, your mom or your dad? My mom. My dad sucks.

Sat around for awhile last night at Radio Bean. I'd been sort of half intending to play an open mike, but I had arrived early, as had some of the others who milled in as it got closer to 7.



I could see it was going to be a situation wherein the sign up would be set out at a fixed time and it would be pounced on by everyone simultaneously, so I left.



I think things like poetry slams, open mikes, karaoke, and even to an extent games like Guitar Hero and websites like fanfiction.net exist for people who aren't on a professional level yet with their writing, singing or musicianship to still get that 15 minutes of oomph that every performer needs.



I have begun to wonder if that is a real need or a taught one.



I have childhood memories that lead me to believe I may have been autistic as a child. I remember my mom taking me to some kinda shrink, and I also remember being perfectly content alone for hours by myself. I had a crack in the wall I was content to talk to, and I would line up my toys for hours along the wainscoting in patterns that I suppose were very exact and right to me.



Someone must have decided down the line that I needed to need other people, and so made me start associating.



It's been hard for me to find the time to write stuff, and I have to admit the cute meme I did a few days back frustrated me. 6%? That's it? But then, having to go back and count the words manually was an irritant too. There's got to be an online site you can plunk your entries into and it'll tell you how many words you've got.



I used to love to write. It allowed me to get away from others again. Back in those days there was no internet, so there certainly was no term "fanfic" but that's what I would write. I remember writing this HUGE story that was a blatant 'Star Wars' ripoff that had some Stu somehow drag the Beatles into a future run by an evil Emperor who outlawed music.



I believe I had it thrown out when my mom tried reading some of it. I was embarassed, and angry. No one should have to share their wank, after all, especially when they are too young to know what wank is.



It was a nice brisk day yesterday. I was finally feeling like 'aah, this IS fall.' I've noticed the real world moves a bit faster than me. Hallowe'en has already passed, but I'm just now finally feeling ready for it.



The next holiday here in America is almost upon us. I find though I can't stomach large amounts of turkey like I used to, so it will be a time of tryptophan induced stupor and lots of indigestion.



Christmas depresses the crap out of me.



I remember I was almost always sick by Christmas as a kid. Nausea and Christmas go together in my head a lot; I also remember my mom would try to make it one of those special things and the stress of setting it up would always get her pissed off.



Now Christmas is just upsetting.



I live on a fixed income; almost all my money goes to paying my bills. The rest goes towards budgetting food, and for whatever convoluted didn't-do-the-mom-trip-and-got-estranged-from-my-kid-brother type emotional thing, I often find myself kinda 'taking care' of less financially estute poor people, making sure they don't starve when they spend their welfare checks in the first five days after receiving them.



This rarely if ever leaves me any money for toys. It barely leaves me money for little around the house essentials, like TP and lightbulbs and medicine. So I've trained myself to only want practical things.



"What do you want for your birthday?"



"Oh, a rack to hang up clothes inside during the winter'd be nice. I wouldn't mind a shopping cart, neither."



Meanwhile all of downtown is awash with yuppies buying one another expensive little tech toys and clothes they don't need; who needs dress up stuff when this is the time of year you spend bundled up in jackets anyway?



Christmas is a dreary holiday. It shuts out anyone with no family to celebrate it with, and it shuts out the poor bigtime. Little efforts the charity groups do? Oh puh-lease. You got some guy shivering sleeping outside under an awning, or some poor old lady who never sees anyone but her cats and the kid who brings her her meals-on-wheels, you really think a card made by the children's church and a candy cane are going to make them feel all Jimmy Stewarty and included?



I sometimes sit downtown on Christmas morning. Bundled in my coat and enjoying the complete abandoned look of the town, watching those remnant people mill around in the peripheral like lonely ghosts. They don't even want to approach anyone. The sense of loneliness makes them want to be alone, I think.



At times I can relate.



Other times it quickens me by stoking my nasty little sense of schadenfreude. Sure, I'm not going home to the perfect Norman Rockwell thang either. I won't have the tree thick with prezzies; I'll be lucky if I have a few things sent by my mom, and a turkey from the food shelf.



But I have that. At least I'm a insy bit better off.



Yay!



Christ? Oh, don't bring Christ into this mess. If anything, he probably wasn't born anywhere near the old pagan winter Saturnalia thing; the early Christians probably moved his birthday since they didn't know it and it let them try to include into the old ways so as new converts wouldn't backslide.



I've always liked Jesus, but he seems more likely a Leo. with Pisces rising, perhaps. Ergo all that stuff with the fishes.



But definitely some Leo in there somewhere. I mean, the need for attention a messiah must have!



Jesus. Would pwn on Guitar Hero.



Just an observation.





This ups me to 4189. w00t!