Prayer and ContemplationTue, July 24, 2007 - 8:27 AM
While Dorin Popa believes that I have an important role in the spiritual and political world in the near future which may well have been the impetus for his statement, the underlying issue that he raises is as true for you as me. The real world is not this physical world that we live in; the real world is the spiritual world that we barely touch in our daily lives. We need to commune with it.
Dorin probably spoke for G-d when he called me to rededicate myself to the principles of prayer and contemplation. However, the very call itself should be contemplated. So, I have spent much time contemplating the call he issued.
Dorin pours out his heart to me. I often hear venom, anger, frustration, ambition and ego coming from his lips. His deviation into an open criticism of my misuse of time was totally uncharacteristic of him. I am normally the personified victim of his abuse. To hear him openly criticize me for not doing what G-d wanted me to do was such a complete deviation from his norm of criticizing me for my actions in the mundane world that I had to sit up and take notice. It reminds me of Balaam's conversation with the ass. Balaam did not get it when the Voice he heard so well told him to do something and his heart was elsewhere. So G-d did the most uncharacteristic thing he could do; he made an ass speak to Balaam. I know from past experience that G-d has to be that direct with me sometimes. When someone walks up to you and out of the blue says or does something totally uncharacteristic of them to you, you have to wonder whether G-d is speaking and if he is, are you listening. I am listening. I am trying to make sense of this message.
I spend way to much time on this computer and wasting my time on superfluous things. I spend an average of 24 hours per month on legal matters which makes me sufficient money to live. This lifestyle would allow me to spend much time in contemplation and prayer if I wanted to. I do not take as much time for those acts as I should. I pray in the morning and sometimes through the day. Sometimes I am challenged to do scriptural research and sometimes I even write a bit. But do I spend 1/7 of my time praying and contemplating G-d's message; NO! Dorin's call is an indictment on my misuse of the most precious resource I have. From the mere standpoint of conviction, I am guilty and no matter how I put it, I remain convicted. How many of you are where I am? How many times when you mow the grass, drive in the car, wash the dishes, bath, and do other mundane events could you also be praying and contemplating the will of G-d in your life and those around you.
I have been angry at G-d lately. Now when I am angry with G-d, I tend to do only those things which will maintain an open line of communication. I will recalcitrantly refuse to listen to the Voice if it is not crystal clear. I will do those things only which are necessary to maintain a relationship. But I will not be open to contemplation or prayer beyond the necessary. During this time of angered estrangement, I have ignored G-d as much as possible. However, he worked a miracle in the life of my son and healed him of a serious, life-threatening, illness at a speed beyond the comprehension of his doctors. My son's principal specialist told him it would take three years to heal him; he was completely healed in three months. I was not as effusive in thanksgiving as I could have been nor did I repair the estrangement just because I was not the recipient of G-d's immediate attention. G-d's response to my intransigence was to send an Ass to speak to me about returning to prayer and contemplation. How many of you are waiting for an Ass to speak?
I need a person to help me in writing the second draft of the book I have published on this blog into more scholarly form. Someone has written. I do not know whether he is the one. I need prayer to help me get on with G-d's work of publishing that book. I need prayer in putting it together. You have things which you have not done; likewise you need prayer and contemplation to get them done. Let this blog be a call to prayer and contemplation for you as well.
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