politics

No more politics, I know what's next
Call me hypocrite and burn down bridges
I got a river running through my neck
I got a river running through my heart
And all the blood that spills runs to the ocean
While the oceans rise up to mingle with the air
Growing finger tips, and semen stained covers
Singing mercy me, oh God, oh ecstasy oh yeah right there

Fantastic chick strawberry hips, light me a candle.. blow out my wish
Unconscious ear turns towards the sun
knows where the warmth is, knows what it wants
Wants to be filled in, wants to be filled up, wanna be reborn, wanna be reloved
All the babies born swim from the ocean
While the rain that falls runs into the sea
Growing crazy mixed up thoughts that preach the coming of disaster
singing mercy me, oh God, oh hell, and ecstasy

El Dorado blues nowhere left the run, grandma got plutonium under the rug
Fanatical bliss fanatical fire, fanatics don't let their babies go dancing
You repress the beats, you repress the wine, your mama mistook you for a lion
She cut off your head, she don't know you're dead, and all the streets you ruled run red
Mmmm the grass grows green where the homeless man sleeps
and the mystic sneezes rain showers are like your polka dotted panties
and the heat grows desire as her white back arches
under a hot blue sky, sunny afternoon in the park

No more politics
I know whats next
You call me hypocrite
Come on burn in down

No more politics
I know whats next
We're all hypocrites
Go on burn it down

Go on burn it down

atoms for peace

no more going to the dark side
with your flying saucer eyes

no more falling down a worm hole
that i have to pull you out

the wriggling twiggling worm inside
devours from the inside out

no more talk about the old days..
its time for something great

want you to get up and make it work
so many allies, so many allies
so many allies, so many allies
so feel the love come off of them
and take me in your arms

peel all your layers off
i want to eat your artichoke heart

no more leaky holes in your brain
and no false starts

i want you to get up and make this work
so many allies, so many allies
so many allies, so many allies
so feel the love come off of them
and take me in your arms


-thom yorke

a school of flight

I had a dream last night in which I learned to fly very, very well. I taught myself at the beginning, and flew so high up that I rode the cusp of the earth's gravitational field. By the end of the dream I was teaching others to fly. A whole lot of people. I remember some calamity was going on, a worldwide event, people were lost and losing hope, but learning to fly brought a smile to their faces and it was all I spent my time doing last night, or this morning. I can still feel it. :)

it all begins with a hoop

I watched a video the other day called "cosmic voyage", it was originally released in IMAX theaters around the world, but was then made into a downloadable video file by a group I like to support as much as possible (because they make things like IMAX videos and other educational films from PBS, Discovery, BBC, and National Geographic accessible to anyone with an internet connection) called MVGroup. ( www.mvgroup.org )

the video is narrated by Morgan Freeman, and takes a journey from the earth to the outermost known limits of the universe as we know it today, and then travels inwards to the innermost universe as we know it today. one thing that is really cool about it is that the journey begins with a hoola-hoop on the streets of venice, where a small dance troupe is performing for a crowd of onlookers, and the journey literally begins with a 1 meter hoop, and progresses in powers of ten to the outermost edges of the universe as we know it today. really fascinating stuff, and all rendered from actual data of the known universe, with proper proportion and placement of all galaxies known to us.

you will need a membership to mvgroup, but they are free and it is a rather easy process, just visit their homepage ( www.mvgroup.org ) and register a new account, all that is required is a valid e-mail address.

once you have that set up and are logged it, the link to the video is here:

forums.mvgroup.org/torrents...i.torrent

mvgroup does all their releases via bittorrent, if you don't know what bittorrent is, I would suggest googling it and checking out the wikipedia entry for it. the two best bittorrent clients I know of are "Azureus" ( azureus.sourceforge.net/ ), which I use.... another popular bittorrent client is "Utorrent" ( www.utorrent.com/ ) which alot of people recommend because of it's simplicity.

if you have any questions about how to get your bittorrent client working and the video downloading, just post a reply here or send me a personal message and I'll do whatever I can to help you out. keep in mind that the video is rather large, and will take a couple days to download, but it is well worth it.

while you're at it I recommend checking out some of their other releases, there is sure to be something in there that interests you, and it is all freely accessible to you once you're a member.

enjoy :)

Interfuse 2007 pictures (finally!)

s186.photobucket.com/albums/...use2007/

It took me a while to edit the 300+ photos I took this year at interfuse, but I think they turned out quite well!! This was my first time really taking pictures of alot of people/scenery at an event, besides random times in the past with disposable cameras..... all I have to say is digital cameras rock!! I want to get a better one when I get the chance to. This follows a timeline of the weekend from friday morning until the batteries died on saturday night during the burn.

**Finished uploading all the photos, theres a bunch! --and fixed it so the pictures are in order & follow the proper timeline, first to last**

Thanks everyone for the beautiful memories of this weekend.

s186.photobucket.com/albums/...use2007/

Once in a Lifetime

I was listening to this song on the way home from Des Moines tonight. Classic.

And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself
In a beautiful house, with a beautiful Wife
And you may ask yourself-
Well...how did I get here?

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime
water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime
water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones
there is water underground.

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime
water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones
there is water underground.

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime
water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
strange how infectious these 80's songs are looking back on them, especially after dismissing them for the greater time of my life growing up in the 80's.

<3 same as it ever was.

Interfuse 2007 Mix - Diamond in the Sun (tracklisting)

Alot of people have been e-mailing me since Interfuse to get the tracklistings for this mix, as I did not have time to include it in each individual CD, so I just included my e-mail address instead. Here it is for all who were inquiring, the link from the return e-mail should have brought you here. IF you by some chance ended up with the other mix 'On & On' (the one with hip-hop on it), message me or send me an E-mail for info about that one (only brought a handful of those to Interfuse)

*You* are a diamond in the sun. It was beautiful to see all of you come together and shine again as one. See you next Interfuse, if not sooner. (hopefully)

--Diamond in the Sun--

1.Now that I know - Devendra Banhart
2.Moonrise - Sean Hayes
3.Old Fashioned Morphine - Jolie Holland
4.In Relief - John Frusciante
5.Feel Good - Sean Hayes
6.All because you told me so - Shivaree
7.3a.m. - Sean Hayes
8.Black Swan - Thom Yorke
9.Every Person - John Frusciante
10.Lazy Butterfly - Devendra Banhart
11.Black Stars - Jolie Holland
12.Sea Love - Sean Hayes
13.Ten Minutes - Shivaree
14.I Feel Like A Child - Devendra Banhart
15.Mad Tom Of Bedlam - Jolie Holland
16.Alabama Chicken - Sean Hayes
17.Darlin Ukelele - Jolie Holland
18.All Things... - Sean Hayes
19.It's Over - Beta Band
20.Diamond in the Sun - Sean Hayes

Tracks 1, 10 & 14 are from the album 'Cripple Crow' by Devendra Banhart
Tracks 2, 16 & 20 are from the album 'Alabama Chicken' By Sean Hayes
Tracks 3, 11 & 15 are from the album 'Escondida' by Jolie Holland
Tracks 4 & 9 are from the album 'Shadows Collide With People' by John Frusciante
Tracks 5, 7 & 18 are from the album 'Big Black Hole and the Little Baby Star' by Sean Hayes
Tracks 6 & 13 are from the album 'Rough Dreams' by Shivaree
Track 8 is from the album 'The Eraser' by Thom Yorke
Track 12 is from the album 'Lunar Lust' by Sean Hayes
Track 19 is from the album 'The 3EPs' by Beta Band

Alot of repeat performers on this one, but I've been quite moved by all of their music in recent times, and I figured it would be a good way to help promote such wonderful and original talent, while sharing great music at the same time. (except for the obvious one(s) that absolutely have no need for my help promoting) If you like Sean Hayes, his new disc comes out on May 20th I believe, you can find it on his website or cdbaby.com (a San Fransisco based cd store, also a good place to look for Jolie & Devendra's music, they're both from San Fran as well).
I started getting a feel for the local music there (San Fran) last fall when I was planning on moving there in January, but that has been pushed back until this December, now. It was amazing hearing all the wonderful talent I had discovered from there, reading their stories and learning about their interconnected music scene, it's really a stirring point of creativity that I cannot wait to experience first-person.




<3 bedri

Now that I know

1.
Now that I know
The way it goes
You've gotta pay back every penny that you owe

Twelve years old
In your mama's clothes
Shut the blinds and lock up every door

And if you hear
Someone's coming near
Just close your eyes and make them disappear


2.
Years away
Finds me here today
On my own and always on my way

So I send my friends
Gifts from where I've been
Something from the hand thats never there to lend

Better keep those eyes
Climbing paradise
And don't pretend you won't reach it in the end


3.
Dearest dear
I know you've been here
Why'd you run, tell me why'd you disappear

Now that you're not
Here with me
'Seems to be the only time I can see you clearly

I may not know
How to treat or give you what you need
But I am a gentleman who says what he means now


4.
And now I sing
Upon my knees
And praise the kindness of a gentle breeze

I see it swell
Like a story in me to tell
Told years away and past my day of dying


5.
So you raise them up
To have and always have
They're unaware of share or give a hand to help some

Oh you give them away
But they'll come back to you someday
Wanna know why nobody was ever there to help them

And no it ain't fair
And if God forbid you care
It's enough to get you in a whole lot of trouble


6.
Oh realize
It ain't wise to idealize
Or put your life in the hands of any struggle

Never renounce
Or ever claim to be
And never buy that freedom just ain't free


7.
Ella sang
Sifting in the sand
Like a hymn within to help us understand

Heaven awaits
We're making our last stand
Glory bound and sparrow in our hand

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
/devendra banhart

the line begins to blur

Recently my dreams have been starting to effect reality. I hear things from my dreams while I'm awake, and I've been having them every night. It is not unusual for me to dream so much, but not every night, consistently.

This all started not too long ago, I was awake, laying in bed thinking/praying/wishing and I could see two distinct apparitions above me, both black in color and coming from my right and left, directly above me, and my first reaction was to confront my fear of them, to stare them head on and let them know that I was not afraid. This went on for a while and they cycled in and out of my vision above me, and I continued to think, and to pray, and to wish. The two apparitions fused together into one, this time white in color, but shaking erraticly as if it was having some kind of spasm, seemingly shaking away what was left of the two, or containing them within. Things calmed down and I continued this odd meditation for a while, with random streams of thought coming and going, all very positive and hopeful, and after a while the form above me shifted into what looked like a white spiral of feathers, which then dissolved into a sea of stars on my ceiling. After falling asleep this night, I had four very distinct dreams, all of which were unlike any I have ever had before. In every single one of them I could recall things getting blurry and my vision returning to where I was laying in my bed, and then I would return to the dream. All of the dreams had friends in them, and you were watching me dissolve and reform in the dream, and I kept saying that I was waking up, and returning to the reality, and then I would come back to the dream and you were telling me I kept disappearing and reappearing, to which I would reply the same, that I was waking up. I finally woke up and was laying in my room and I could see everything there with absolute clarity (well as much as is possible in the dark), and I would hear things that were from the dreams, voices at times, and another time I heard what sounded like a dog growling behind my head. In a later dream, after I had fallen back to sleep, Tyler came up to me at this strange house that we were all at and told me it was him growling when I was awake... I was working in a diner in that dream too, we were closing down for the night, and I was over meticulous about cleaning up, and I worked with Sarah, who was getting angry with me because she wanted to leave. It was my first night working there, or so it felt in my dream to be that way, and I was striving to do everything as best as possible, but I think Sarah had worked there for a while and knew what needed to be done, and was mad because I was taking too much time cleaning places they usually didn't bother with, but that seemed like they needed to be. The house we were at before or after that (don't remember the timeline in this one too well), where I had seen Tyler previously, had a bunch of things strewn about, random things, and I remember picking up a bunch of them and giving them to different people. It was during this dream that I keep waking up and seeing my room vaugely and then jumping back into the dream and the people around me would tell me I was disappearing over and over again and then reappering. In a different dream, that same night, I was laying in bed at a house that I used to live in, in Florida when I was ~5-8 yrs old with my mother and sister. I was laying in bed facing upwards, and something was pulling me up, and I kept trying to fight it, I would pull away from it and then it would pull back and I was scared, and started calling for my mom, when I called for my mom, it would bring me back into my room here, like before where I could tell I was no longer in the dream, but not completely awake yet. I could not wake up, and I kept phasing back into this room with something pulling me away from my bed, over and over again, and the calling for my mother again. This happened 3-4 times and finally I woke up in my room here facing a painting on my wall, "Sophia"(by Alex Grey), and I could hear myself, but in a much younger voice calling for my mom, and I could not tell if it was me that had just yelled it out of my own mouth laying there in my bed, or just hearing my voice from the dream I had just had.

In a different dream I had the same night as the ones above, everything was broken, and the world looked like it was all but destroyed, there was a sea of people fenced out of some area, a really long fence with an ocean of people on one side, and it didnt seem like they were moving at all, some sitting, some standing, some even seemed to be floating, but not moving, and I distinctly remember everything seemed to be broken in different ways, objects, people (missing limbs, but not bleeding), the entire world. Airyck was there, and the only person I distinctly remember being there, but I'm sure there were others I know around too, everyone seemed familiar, and Betsy was there too. I remember Airyck so well because he was not himself, he was very negative, dark, and for some reason it seemed like he was very, very upset. He was very mean to me, would ignore me when I tried talking to him, and I felt like it was just me at first, until I saw him interact with others in the same way. This felt like the negative world. The next night, Airyck was in another dream, and it was the complete opposite, nothing but positive, but I do not remember anyone else being there, and even if there was, he was the complete focus of the dream. It was all communication, the two of us talking, smiling, playing... like two really close brothers, pretty much like it is in real life, but without a shred of negativity or sadness coming through in any way.

Every night since then has been another dream, with vastly different settings. Last night I dreamed that I was working in a book store, a humungous book store, with an amazing layout, these weird circular book shelves, and somehow during the dream I had become the owner of the book store. There was a rollercoaster that went through the bookstore as well, and at times it would go through the circular bookshelves into what seemed to be cylinders with images on all sides reflecting different parts of the books on the outer portion of the shelves, telling stories as you went through them. The rollercoaster was black, pitch black, and while I was running the store, and organizing books it broke down on a 360 degree loop, near the top, and some people were hurt, but none of them died. I remember later rebuilding the rollercoaster, and this time it was completely white, and it went through the same circular book shelves, but this time the stories depicted on the inside were completely different than before, I remember one part of the rollercoaster now went through a circular anime/manga bookshelf, and then where the ride would end before, it went outside, past a wooded area that was right next to the bookstore, and above a dirt path that later became a metal bridge, a big really big one. The rollercoaster went above the bridge and as it passed over, the bridge below was slowly starting to fall apart, piece by piece, until nothing but the basic outlining was left, further down the path, it seemed that anything man made or iron, concrete, etc. was being destroyed as it went past. Soon after that I woke up, this morning, at ~5:45 am, started making breakfast, turned on the tv to catch the news (which was as depressing and moronic as usual) changed the channel and found that Ghostbusters (the first movie) was just starting!! hehehehe I havent seen that movie since the early ninties, possibly the late eighties, it's so hilarious, and I watched pretty much the whole thing (while getting ready for work). What an awesome movie, fucking Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd, Slimer, and the Stay-Puff Marshmellow man rock!!

Ok this is quickly drifting away from the original subject of this post, but I just wanted to share this stream of very odd experiences that have come about lately, and I was wondering if anyone else is having odd dreams as of late?

There is one dream I wrote about previously that was the first time I felt something from my dreams enter reality, and it was in a very similar fashion to these recent experiences, where I would be awake in my room after the dream and hear something, in that first experience it was a voice screaming, a voice I had never heard before, that seemed like it was created by vibration coming out of the top of my head.

On a side note, things have been very positive in life lately, I've been overly motivated, dealing with issues head-on, enjoying work, enjoying life fully (for the most part), doing little things to make things better for myself and others around me, waking up early in the morning, even if I stay up late at night, etc.
The first day after the dreams started (the night with the 4 dreams) I got up, grabbed a couple plastic bags from my kitchen, and walked to my friend Caser's house, picking up trash along the street on the way there, and knocked on his door, met his grandmother for the first time, woke him up and took him out to breakfast at this little breakfast house down the street from me. We walked there from his house, and he helped me pick up trash on the way, I purposedly took us past the side street by SaveAlot foods because there is always a shit ton of trash laying next to the building and every time I see it I always think "next time I'm going to bring some bags with me to pick this crap up" but hadn't until then. They even had a dumpster there for a while, but it was always overflowing with trash, and recently I had seen they took the dumpster away. So anyway, we walked past there and to my suprise, pretty much all the trash had been picked up!! There has been trash littering that area in such abundance ever since I moved in here, and I finally make a point to go and pick some of it up and lo-and-behold, someone has already done it! That made me really happy, so we got to the breakfast house and had some awesome biscuits and gravy and omlettes, and I snuck some guava juice in with me for us to drink with breakfast. I have even been going to my ASAC meetings without dreading them, truth be told my ASAC counseler is actually a complete moron, and the whole ASAC system is so cumbersome and dated. I actually helped her with parts of my file, and showed her some easier ways to navigate(and use) their system while I was watching her tool around with it endlessly. Their whole system is such a waste of time and resources, and she finally came clean and told me that ASAC is basically an experiement that is taking place all over Iowa to correlate information for some study, pretty fucking lame really. We ended up talking about politics more than my case or anything else these last couple visits, its been pretty fucking hilarious really, I expected her to be pretty conservative, which she is in some aspects, but she has been trying to get alot of patients involved in the political process to help inform younger people of the things they can do to affect the world around them, which is sweet, but I dont think she knows much more than the basics, especially because she was learning alot from me too, and I'm a political n00b. Anyway, time to get to bed, it's getting close to midnight already....and I much prefer waking up on my own instead of relying on all these fucking alarms.


Sweet (and confusing) dreams everyone.

Which Tarot Card Are You?

www.quizilla.com/users/Kos...e%20You%3F


"You are the Moon card. Entering the Moon we enter the intuitive and psychic realms. This is the stuff dreams are made on. And like dreams the imagery we find here may inspire us or torment us. Understanding the moon requires looking within. Our own bodily rhythms are echoed in this luminary that circles the earth every month and reflects the sun in its progress. Listening to those rhythms may produce visions and lead you towards insight. The Moon is a force that has legends attached to it. It carries with it both romance and insanity. Moonlight reveals itself as an illusion and it is only those willing to work with the force of dreams that are able to withstand this reflective light."

Pretty crazy, my mom just told me when she was visiting in April that my middle name 'Bedri' actually means "full moon" in turkish.