My Blog

LAPTOP=STOLEN

Hilary — Wed, 14 May 2008 03:18:01 GMT

SOME BITCH stole my laptop... wandered right into my apartment between when i left this morning and when my roommate got up (YES he was home sleeping, they walked PAST HIS room to get to mine...) and walked into my room, took my laptop n power cord, my roommates backpack, presumably to put the laptop in and left... FUKKK...

Join the crowd...

Hilary — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:14:57 GMT

I've spent the last year waiting for a right time to quit smoking... screw it... i quit yesterday... Jessica has film of me rolling my lasssst cigarette.... and beings single (instead of dating a heavy smoker like the last 4 guys,lol...)is gonna help too... I know alot of the others of you have quit, n I'm proud of you!!! C'mon everyone!!! BREATHE!!!

i'm out

Hilary — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:29:34 GMT

its monday night and just on a whim i'm out of my house at Bobs java... i... just decided to be OUT... lol... spring is here,the Nysssahs are officially out of hiding

GIVE ME YOUR UNWANTED ART SUPPLIES/JUNK.....(+cute tiny hamster pic)

Hilary — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 22:23:30 GMT

Hey hey hey... Got a stack of old magazines? Clothes that don't fit but are made of interesting fabric? Sweaters that you no longer like or that have holes in them? Fabric a 70's acid head would call "too loud" ? or even fabric your grandma would call boring? yarn you'll never use? Markers? writing/drawing stuff? Paper Grocery bags? (**I could reeeeally use these for a project...) or cardboard? jars? Buttons? Baubles? Paper wares? glue? Tape? safety pins? Thread? If you'd like some space cleared in your home, just tell me whatcha got to git rid of and I'll fill up MY precious living space with it! I'll come get it or we can figure out a meet up... Help a (almost literally) starving artist by giving her YOUR JUNK!!! (FYI... this post is mostley aimed at Minneapolis/uptowners... but not because i don't like other people, I'm just not willing to drive tooo far...l ol... thank you for the messages from out of state tho...) PEACE!!! (and give your stufffff tooooo meeeeeeee.....) : )

Art Works Jan 27

Hilary — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 20:48:09 GMT

I'm into making all these hand sewn dolls lately... hoping to get some pics of their progress up soon... i have 3 done and 4 in various stages of work, and it feels so good to have the time to do it... my hands are just sick to death of knitting sticks right now, and no wonder with all that stuff I took to oregon... I'm making good work tho, and lots of it, finally using some of the myriad of supplies i have here in the apt... been designing a huge ceiling quilt too... the kind of thing you hang inside a tent frame for beauty's sake... its so big i'll be designing and redesigning it for 3 months and then i'll need 300/500$ for the fabric...lol... but once it starts progressing I'll be so ecstatic.... i was gonna do it all by hand but Drew is helping me understand a art comp program that i can chart it in on... its so much easier to use than paper... so little waste... pics of allot of work to come soon, as well as a new photo shoot if i can get it worked out...

Carpool to show tomarrow?

Hilary — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 01:24:13 GMT

whos goin to the show? may i catch a ride and throw some gas money down? i'm not that annoying, really... lol... but seriously, anyone please?

gir anyone?

Hilary — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 02:33:11 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLdqC5gqFs0&NR=1 invader zim fans beware! a very cute gir montage and el cheapo electronica song combined into one mass of cutetastic gir-y ness!!

My New Bunny

Hilary — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 01:38:28 GMT

This is the bunny I'm picking up tomarrow... I am SOOO excited... hes a 9 week old holland lop, and i have no idea what to name him suggestions?

eh?

Hilary — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 00:49:35 GMT

to bobs? you guys coming to bobs? i'm going to bobs now love you come to bobs....

The state of ouch / looking for a bodyworker

Hilary — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:50:54 GMT

I am in a state of ouch... my back has told me enough is enough, and unfortunately my wallet is in denial... i'm looking to trade some form of my arts or services for back/body work of some kind massage, energy work, reki... i'll try it... if anyone knows of someone who would be willing to even consider it i'd be very grateful... peace be with you all

talked

Hilary — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 21:47:13 GMT

well i talked with Nichelle before work, and she was chill about me moving... whatever... i'm glad we talked, and stayed calm...

singing tesla coil!!!

Hilary — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 03:08:09 GMT

www.hauntedfrog.com/gt/movie...Show.html check this out!!!!

Horay horay for all of you!!!

Hilary — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 03:21:04 GMT

Thats right people.. i finally got my Wednesday nights OFF... I'll actually be able to attend Bobs gatherings with regularity and see all your beutifulllll faces... Hope you all had a bitchin fourth and i'll see you Wednesday!!!

goodness...

Hilary — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 03:09:18 GMT

each breath tonight calms me... reminds me that i'm simply moving thru this life... the all of what i see can be percived as positive at my choosing... i'm so happy with jerry, the new beau... darling man seems like a long lost best friend and i enjoy and respect his criticisims as well as compliments with grace instead of shame... the walker allows me an ease of work enviroment that i love... a closeness to home and flexibility in hours that suits my slacker style... and pay enough to live a nice lil' life and still pay something towards all the bills... there are choices to make, but not now... now is to work and think and see what goals i really want to focus on... time to create and experience this city... i just reilized the other day i've been here 7 months... and it overwhelmed me... more than half a year and i didn't even notice it... i love you guys, my life is on the path i wanted/needed it to be these long months, and i hope i'll get to spend more time with you all soon!!

there is a center

Hilary — Sun, 13 May 2007 03:37:35 GMT

there is a center and i can find and stay close to it... life seems to spin so fast sometimes... and with this looming court date i'm hoping it will go okay... but i'm just trying to stay in the moment, to know only now is what i can do anything about... i can prepare, but worry is over rated and mostly pointless... i feel centered, and it feels great...

I GOTS A JOB!!!

Hilary — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 00:26:30 GMT

I gots me a job as a gallery moniter at the Walker Art Center!!! Who HOO!! i'm doing my training stuff this week and will be starting soon after that... i feel MUCH BETTER>>> sighhhhhhhhhh

helping is good...hehe

Hilary — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 23:32:45 GMT

so i'm finally on my way back to uptown tonight... while Lori didn't need looooooong term help its turned out helpfull to have an extra adult around these few days with her son and still a little problamatic work schedule...as six year olds do, hes been acting out and being a very negitive little boy latley, but hes better today and seems to be done with a rough patch... but just now (at 530 pm)her babysitter for tonight has fallen thru--and shes supposed to be sleeping so she can be awake for this overnight shift shes scheduled for--sleep till 930 and work 10 to 8am-- and she is scrambling to see if someone can cover or if someone else can watch him tonight... i'm just staying untill shes got that covered, but not overnight again...it feels good and right to help her, shes helped me talk thru so much and gotten all that knit work catologed and planned out some things i need to do and focus on...i miss her alot being in mineapolis, and being able to spend this time with her is super... i didn't have anything scheduled i'm missing or ditching out on, just wanted to stay and finish the work in progress and see a dear friend... i feel good about this whole trip i took out of minneapolis, it was longer than intended by storms and bad roads, but i'm excited to be home and see what everyones doing... i miss my house and my cities family... thanks for making me feel like i have tht to come back to... last night i just got tired, and also got to see my best friend lee for the first time in 3 months... he was busy untill 10 pm though and after having dinner there and talking for a few hours i was ready to sleep, and driving exhausted in the winter didn't seem too good of an idea... then i in classic style, forgot to set my alarm, and lori slept thru hers, byron got off to school late, and i decided that i wanted to finish the projects i was working on and she really neede to run some errands... just normal stuf that having the car made so much easier... i was just gona come home and sit around, do the same work i had to do here but if i stayed it was a huge relief... i think i did right staying... on the up side of being a bit late home, i got ALL the work done that i wanted... and resolved a debt i had, and am coming home with a good bit of unexpected money in hand for bills ...i acchived the goal of getting back on my feet healthily and eating well at moms and did some yoga/meditation there...i got a lot of things talked out with mom and Lori, and my head fels clear and fine... i can do what i need to do.... see you all around soonish! hope your days were drama free and full of ease and peace... be seeing ya...

orginisation of yarn-fiendishness OR how i'm going to sell the stuff i make

Hilary — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 05:53:46 GMT

i finally got my lil' self orginised and wrote up and documented all teh current yarn works i have, and priced it all, and tagged it all and have it all ready to show to stores and anywhere that might be good business... now i need "where to market it " suggestions... i think i have a few places in mind... anyone else have a suggestion on someplace that might consignment sell or outright buy to sell some wacky knit work? I'll be posting gads of pictures in the next day or so and am wondering what yall will think of some of the crazy stuff... i have several franken-dresses and sweater pieces in the works ...ALSO would anyone know where to get a female maniquin torso with arms? its hard to work on some stuff without a form but no one wants to sit around and be crocheted on for hours at a time holding very still...lol... love to yall and see you soon!!

things sometimes go great

Hilary — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 18:01:28 GMT

so lori was able to work out a new schedule, and shes not going to have to quit... so now i'm not going to have to stay with her long term, i'm just hanging out for a few days... its her son Byrons birthday later this week too, so we have some fun stuff planned for all of us... i'll be back in town by the end of the week at latest and all relaxed and not sick and smilin... hope this week has been good to all of you and see you soon!

upupupdate

Hilary — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 22:01:18 GMT

first off... I love you guys... i've never recived such overwhelming support, and I hope you'll all forgive me if i'm aquard sometimes amoung all this love... I'm not used to it, and still dealing with the remenants of another life that crumbled as I watched is still haunting me a bit... it feels easier to be moving past it now... fortunatley i seem to have a tribe unlike any other... while I may not know all of you as intimatley as I'd like, theres time for that, and i have more faith in the stability of my life/friends than ever... i actually want to have a job, friends, to leave the house... those of you whove known me since "THE DAY" kinda know what i'm talking about... cheerfull as i often am I'm a horriffic rapid cycling depression case, and its very very hard to pull out of... and often confined myself when things look bleak because i feared messing up again... and if i stayed in the house i couldn't get involved in things with people.. can't get blamed for mispeaking....ect... but today things don't seem so bad... they seem shining and great... i'm not moving out of 2113 Harriet... if I hadn't signed the lease i might have moved out, but I made a commitment and I'm holding my part of that up and taking responsibility for it... james is still here and not speaking to me, except to ask to be bought beer and a very upsetting IM conversation the other day... I'm just trying to own my shit... all i can really do is look at the whole thing objectivly and take responsibility for my actions... no one elses... and appoligise or make ammends where i can or where I'm allowed to maybe i should have stood up more for him that night he got thrown out, but i was hurt and didn't even want to look at him let alone defend him when the other roomies said he had to get out... and now hes here again... just sitting out on the couch ignoring me when i say hello or try to be social... i don't know what to do... and the anwser i keep coming up with is something akin to saying "FUCK IT/HIM" and just moving on even if he is here... what i do know is that i don't trust him anymore, with my heart of things or feelings and hope once he gets his shit togeather hes gone from my life... and wan't he only supposed to be staying here a week? I thought that part of the agreement about him coming back included that he wasn't going to be living with us for more than a week... hes turned jake-chola-and ely to his side where he is misunderstood and i'm a bitch for yelling at him and a passive agressive coward for not coming to talk about it... I remember them all saying we needed to have a big group discusion about what happened and i told them to let me know when it was to be they never got me that scheduled time and i never said i'd arrange it... so why am i again the bitch here? confusion on that front... i'm trying to be present in the house more n more the last few days so they don't feel ditched... they realllly helped us out when we first moved here... but its really hard to go to a place you don't want to be... Things with tracy are going great... we talk ALOT...more than anyone I've been with... every second I've spent with him has been unpressured, comforting, and relaxed... and i've not held anything back that i maybe would have in the past... we're both pretty hyper sensitive, and we're trying to take the best care of each other that we can... which means poking at each other to talk, making time to talk, and then actually talking... hes been canvasing for Sisters Camelot and its a hard time of year for that kind of job... hes thinking of finding something more stable after the new year.. suggestions? but thats all I've got fer right now... hope yall r coming to bobs tonight... Much loveeeee...

up n down here we gooooooooooo...

Hilary — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 20:59:28 GMT

so..... all it takes is a few words and he's got me angry and hurt again... how do they think that I could come and stay in the same house with him? all I did was wish him a happy thanksgiving and ask what was going on over at the 2113 house... and all he says is a simple not much n thanks you too and i'm ready to cry... ready to blame myself again for the whole situation... ready to feel guilty... because he dosen't even know how bad he hurt me... and dosen't want to heal any of it from what I hear... but I'm just confused... its taking alot of concentration to write this and my hands are shaking violently again... i just hate it soo much when i'm made to feel stupid for helping someone... for giving a shit about another human being in pain... for actually reaching out to help just because I can, not because I want something in return... why do i not understand this? sometimes people call me naive, sometimes they call me childlike in the sense that i never learn to expect that some people will hurt me... will try to make me unhappy just because they can't adjust.... just because being happy or accepting loving help offered in kindness is too foreign to them... I forget to help myself sometimes, and have a hard time accepting compliments or praise... but I don't cut down the people who offer me kindness... ack my brain hurts... n I'm glad I'm going to thanksgiving over at Claires house.... Tracys gone to family stuff and the rest of the Animal house is gone too... I'm glad I'm not spending today alone.... cause I'm lonley...

Days of Thanks

Hilary — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 20:29:45 GMT

So todays Thanksgiving.... but its not really that special... every day is time for thanks... while we sit and eat with family or friends we don't often get to see, or those who have created a tribe of peope just for today, we should remember that every gathering of friends is reason for great thanks... every second we are able to spend content, fed, clothed, and warm in each others presence is a gift... a sweet moment that can never be redone or rewound... or taken back or relived in full... give thanks every second you can be aware of how blessed you are... you all make such a difference in my life ... I am thankfull for each of you, for the divinity that you all reflect in your own special way, for the support and love and laughter you bring to my life... I feel like I can never revisit those kindnesses fully to you, but if I can help or heal, aid or comfort you ... let me know... Peace and love be with you all, today and thru the decades of your life... I hope you all had a lovley holiday... Hilary