it seems that life is brining me all my teachers at once. intense learning is transpiring and while the information is coming from what seems like different paths all the information is the same. timelines, lessons, direction and guidance....for those who have an understanding or who want to know what awakening can feel like...it's explosive, kind, sweet, hot, intense, happy, sad, up, down, all around....it can FEEL like you are going crazy but you are not. what is feeling crazy is the poor little ego dying while the ultimate Self blooms. the sweet smell of life and spirit from within glows. i seem to be transferring the energy without knowing it. people are experiencing kundalini rising heat when with me. talking about it seems odd, but we have to share this stuff so those of us who get it know that we are not alone in it. the energy of the planet is shifting faster than i can keep up with. crystal necklaces pop and explode off of my body....i can't seem to "keep" anything on for too long...total non-attachment is being forced on me and it feels great. (big smile). letting go, seeing things clearly, sharing what is happening, not caring who gets it, just becoming more authentic and alive with each breath. it's magical. the word "love" has been used so much it has lost it's meaning. what i am feeling is beyond "love". but Love is in every part of it. learning to witness the balance of dark and light while it happens paradoxically and simultaneously....what jung calls "reconsiliation" is really the key. it's lovely to find the similarities in all schools of thought. each takes me deeper and deeper into an awareness of the simpliest concept - that's how you know it's Truth. i am going to india soon. the calling finally came. i was wondering when it would happen. all of life's answers are falling into my lap. i have no worries of tomorrow or of the mondane questions in life. who cares anymore. i am awakening. get me - don't get me - who cares. be happy with who you are. find your authentic self and just be that. please don't stay asleep with the day to day activities or think that we are not free. freedom is a state of mind. i can run around naked in my mind without having to physically have the experience of it. it's all a state of mind. a state of grace within. someone said to me the other day "we are not free" - how sad. of course we are (big smile). such a statement is disempowering and allows them to stay stuck and not change or be any more than a householder. that's okay if that's why you think you came into this life. i know otherwise. we came here to have a spiritual expereince and remember who we are...some of us anyway. people say the spiritual path never ends...of course....spirit is timeless, endless and without definition. it's only the human mind that feels safe when it feels it has defined something so it can exhale and be in "control". the more i know the less i know. the more awake i become the more asleep everyone else seems...that's okay too! ;0) those who are showing up in my life..."strangers" who know me almost as deeply as i know myself...it's awesome. they look at me with a knowing....and see my hunger for Truth....they get me better than anyone else ever has. i don't expect them to stay around too long either - that's not why they are here. they have come to give me information and support so i don't think i am going crazy. it's wack and bliss. living a paradox is the best possible place for me to exist. watching it all happen without attachment is even better. i wish i could bottle this. i have a photo of myself that i will post shortly. a tunnel of light beings FLOODING my being. i call it my light possie. it was caught on camera in 97 and it makes sense to me NOW. thank god it does not happen all at once. it's just so sweet that i want to take it in slowly and savor each experience. it's new and deeper each time. i want you all to remember it too. never stop living out loud. never give up. never think you are not free. never believe the maya that we call this life. it's happening everywhere...all the time....even at 230am in Canter's deli on a saturday night. i felt and saw It all around me while i was feasting on my chopped salad and pickles just as much as in the silence, just a much in the Kodak theatre watching the Elevate Film Festival. It's everywhere and it always has been. this is a fun ride. my cats are enjoying me dancing around naked every time It wants to show up through me in dance or song. i feel like a witch sometimes, a goddess, God itself, humbled to a point where i literally must fall to my knees and prostrate while tears of joy stream from my soul to the earth. how great is this life! i wish you could all feel this. it's more real than anything else i have never known because it never leaves me and only gets deeper. even in the darkness It finds a way to reveal Itself to me. i don't have to be in a yoga mudra, india, standing on my head, a vegan, sober, none of that matters. It just is because It always has been, always will be, forever, endless. it's in each of us...the saint, the abuser, the murderer, the new born baby. everywhere. what's next? sleep for now......until then...love to all...peace to all...joy to all souls. sat naam.