joy

do you ever get so excited about life that you almost shiver? do you ever feel so blissed out that you want to jump up and down and yell hooray? do you ever feel so full of love that you start to wonder why the universe is allowing you to feel such joy? yeah; I feel good right now - maybe it's all that dancing I've been doing...

Entheos

My mind was blown. I have a new appreciation for bass. I had the most fun I've had dancing in I don't know how long. One hell of a seriously kick ass phenomenal weekend was had – my first trip to Crystal Creek was magical. I started feeling like I was heading to a family reunion about a week before heading to the gathering and I really did feel like I was at a family reunion when I was there. Being surrounded by so many of the beings who have become such a healing force in my life was thoroughly energizing. The music was beyond energizing. Late Sunday afternoon I was still somehow going off pretty hard only with the help of being taken to a new dimension called exhaustion and beats that could never allow me to sit still. My experience in the “chill” tent on Saturday night will not be one I’ll be forgetting any time soon. The bass was heavy and the dancing super sexy; some points during the almost 10 hours that I spent in that space didn’t feel like they could have possibly improved without me bursting. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Looking very forward to Diversity…

Burning Man Mystery

Festival season is on its way and I’m super stoked! I’m on the verge of not having a clue who I’m going to Burning Man with though…. My ride may have to miss in order to pursue an amazing opportunity he simply cannot pass up. So… are you going? Wanna’ camp with me? Can I camp with you? I’m feeling a wee bit daunted by the task of getting prepped. I haven’t done this for five years and then (must admit) pretty much left 95% of the prepping up to my partner at that time (thanks Hitoshi!). Anyone out there up for some burning man tutoring? Luv to you and hope you’re enjoying the change in season as much as I am!

Why are some people afraid of people who are a little different?

I step off the #99 on the east end with a deep sigh of relief. As I walk north the dozen blocks that I do to get home, I wonder which tribey I'll run in to; which soul will I have the chance to randomly meet on the street and hug? This daily experience is so healing for me. My eyes are opened and I learn a different thing about the human existence while I'm not in the Republik.... True - I have a slightly different outlook on life than many, I am unable to have a conversation about any television program (other than possibly the CBC News), my hair is dreadlocked and my tongue is pierced. I am almost shocked by the fact that because I look a bit different, do some different things and think a bit differently I am faced with the challenges that I am. I am proud of who I am. I am proud of my identity. I am proud that I haven't a clue about what's on TV. I am proud of my people and our culture. It saddens and disappoints me to realize what my resolve to not give in to what is considered the norm means for me in this overwhelmingly conservative world...

Tickets bought, vacation confirmed, why does my soul keep tugging at me?

Yes! I have confirmed my attendance at Entheos, Diversity, Folk Fest and Burning Man! It is almost impossible not to feel an enormous amount of excitement for what will surely be an amazing summer. I noticed; however, as I bought my ticket for Diversity this past weekend a voice within me that said – “wow; you are such a have”. Why and how did I get this lot in life? There’s something inside me that suggests I’m spending too much money on ‘fun’ and not enough to improve the lot of others who certainly won’t be going to any festivals this summer. There is a voice within that is asking me to contemplate whether I feel okay about all the investments I’m making in to my own entertainment and whether I feel I am doing enough to help those who are not as ‘have’ as I am…. I suppose being aware of my ‘haveness’ and being grateful for my incredible abundance is a step. Contemplating this makes me realize that my soul would be more at ease if I did do more. I have a feeling I’ll feel even more strongly about this after Sunday. I’m going on a ‘ride-a-long’ with DEYAS (www.deyas.org/index.html - the non-profit Nourish has been raising funds for). I wonder what I’ll see and how my soul will ask me to help after that experience…

Trancing through my socks...

I literally danced through my socks tonight. It felt so fuc!ing good. The beats, the drums, the energy was wild; I was so taken away. Thank you to this music and to this collective heart beat that drives me, pumps me, lifts me, opens my heart and carries me to a different dimension. And Thank You to Jacky Essombe, Sasha and the drummers for facilitating an evening I needed. Thank You also to the Just Dance crew for doing what you do. I love this tribal rhythm...

Sweet Island Souls and a Request

I truly feel like I've had an island vacation. Huge thanks to Ms. Missie for motivating me and facilitating a wonderfully wonderful weekend and to Shiraz for inviting me and to Oriah for leaving and returning and for returning and leaving and to all the beautiful people I connected with that I haven't since Intention and to all the people I connected with for the first time and to Nags and to all the souls who shared beats. Yay - your town rocks and et will be back - perhaps sooner rather than later. I somehow forgot two pieces of clothing that I'm rather attached to. If you're from Van and reading this: are you heading to the island soon and if so could you pick up these items for me and bring them back? If you're from Victoria and reading this: are you coming to Vancouver sometime soon and if so could you bring these items back for me? If you think you could help me out please message me - I'd be so appreciative (not that I'd mind using this situation as an excuse to head to the island next weekend;)!

Seeking Suggestions: Over Time

As some of you know I started a new job just a little over a month ago. So far it's been awesome. I am learning a ton, feel that my work is important and am constantly being challenged. My co-workers are laid back which is helpful because the work is super intense. I am required to be 100% focused and in total concentration mode when I am doing what I do; the consequence of error is not small. I knew when I took the job that eventually there would be an expectation of me to do overtime work. I am not against this idea but I am daunted. After eight hours of such intensity I truly feel ready to go home and relax the brain cells that have been put to such use for the day. Does anyone out there have any suggestions about how to prolong my ability to stay awake, focused and able to concentrate for ten hours?

Random Valentine's Day Ramblings

Do you ever feel like something's missing and so your heart starts to feel like its looking for something but it doesn't exactly know what its looking for...? Is it love on this Valentine's Day? Is it confirmation from my superiors that I'm doing well at my new job (I finally have my one month review next Thursday), is it just a cuddle I'm after? Is it a dose of nature (I realized today that I basically _never_ see the water or spend time amongst trees)... my heart feels like its missing something; I feel that feeling I get when I miss someone - is it my life of partying that I've chosen to temporarily leave as I settle in to my new job? A part of me feels I need to get out and have some intense fun and soon. A part of me feels like it wants a crazy party. Another part of me says yeah right; if there was a crazy party I don't have the energy for it at all. Obviously I need a hug. I went to choir tonight after spending the afternoon at home. I basically got sent home from work because I can barely breathe and have spent this whole week barely being able to breathe due to a severely snotty filled head. Tomorrow will be another day at home. Being on extra strength decongestants help but I so cannot afford to be on drugs at work. I know I should embrace the fact that my body and mind are seeking quiet and two feet on the groundedness. Something I took away from a conversation I had recently about a close friend's learning from an Ayawasca journey was the idea that the more one fights with reality the more pain one invites in to one's path. I've been contemplating this reality a lot over the past couple days. Keep in mind what the Mahabharata says ET: What for each of us is inevitable? Answer: Happiness.

To ponder...

What is quicker than the wind? Thought.
What can cover the earth? Darkness.
Who are the more numerous, the living or the dead? The living because the dead are no longer.
Give me an example of space. My two hands as one.
An example of grief. Ignorance.
Of poison. Desire.
An example of defeat. Victory.
Which animal is the slyest? The one that man does not yet know.
Which came first day or night? Day but it was only a day ahead.
What is the cause of the world? Love.
Why do men revolt? To find beauty, either in life or in death.
What for each of us is inevitable? Happiness.
And what is the greatest marvel? Each day, death strikes, and we live as though we were immortal. This is the greatest marvel.

The Mahabharata