ariel oh ariel
crazy good
deliciously untammable
swishingly devilish
she is a bad ass diva and I am not exagerating
she'll punch you out if you cross her or one of her main damies, literally
she demands respect without ever needing to say a word
she is the perfect combination of butter and brown sugar melted
into that perfect nectar with a few chains and solid karate kicks mixed in
Ariel is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
she can handle anything you want to toss at her and she will come rising up plumed with wings, luminous,
more radiant and regal than a pheonix
one glance is enough to quiet a tempest, a roaring crowd
she is a goddess, don't be fooled by her cool demeanor
damn girl
you're good

mmmmmmmm............sugar

Ariel stomps around the world like some primordial force of nature, blindly leveling forests, destroying mountain sides, mutating and blighting the hard work of evolution. While she may not always smile upon us, it our duty to rever this force. How self-obessesed we would be if we were to blind ourselves to this...

The fact that you are even reading this testimonial means that it is too late for you. By now, her gaze has moved to your actions and thoughts, co-opting any judgement you may make, making it her own. I suggest, for your sake, for the sake of the lives of your family and community, do whatever she wants. If she wants to be your friend, then let it happen, don't fight it, and don't show any cowardice or fear. We have no proof that this angers her, it might just be that her wrath is unpredictable and originates by means and ways we cannot comprehend, but to be on the safe side, sacrifice some small trinket of personal value, and hope that she will be happy that you have lost something dear, something of your own choosing if you know what I mean.

Ariel rocks.

Ariel is a luminescent pixie that has been on the borders of my life for some many years now, and every time I am in her vicinity I feel the tingling of a single leg hair on my left shin, as if it were a receptor come to life for the sole purpose of recieving a significant signal from her, and this is why I have the habit of extending the aforementioned shin towards her every time we're in the same room, which I think is starting to make her (understandably) freak out.
Ariel gave me chained-up fireballs recently to spin around my very flammable person, which I did with great trepidation, but still rather enjoyed.
Ariel leaves the most sexily-monotone answering machine messages in the world.
Ariel is much wilder than my aging, decrepid self, so I tend to see her in the Limbo between her sordid adventures, which is fine by me, because otherwise I probably wouldn't be able to hear what the hell she was saying, and visa-vera.
Ariel is neato. And I don't mean neato the way that Kevin Costner might express it, but as a five year old boy seeing his first actress crush on a movie screen, not knowing he even had a crush until suddenly, hugely confronted by it.
Ariel ... you can roll your eyes at me anytime, pal.