"I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you."

True Romance

Photo by Chicobabs

Have returned from Burning Man. Wow, what a year. I have learned much and I think it marks a turning point in both my real and 'Burning' life.

More to come throughout the next week or so as I can think on things.

-Gabriel

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Bram Stoker, Pablo Picasso, and Dylan Thomas.

What do these man all have in common? They are all Scorpio like myself. All four conjure up a myriad of words; but two words common among them would be 'dark' and 'brooding'.

I know what you are all thinking. Gabriel? A Scorpio? No way! But I tell you it is true. I was born November 13th 1984 (that means this year my birthday is on Friday the 13th!). Now, what spoils the image that other signs world kill for is my Leo Rising and my Cancer moon, but perhaps most of all, my Capricorn Venus and Mars.

In fact, I'm probably the most unlikely Scorpio anyone has ever met. But when I'm in periods of emotional turmoil (like recently) I begin to start feeling the claws and stinger sprouting forth.

At least one author has said, "...this makes you an obsessive, possessive, manipulator with an unquenchable lust for power and a penchant for degradation." Ouch.

It seems there's not a lot of good to be said about Scorpios and if it there is it's usually followed by the word, 'but...' Makes me feel like the 'bad guy' of the Zodiac.

Now, I don't take too much stock in the Zodiac, but for some reason it's always in the back of mind. It voices up when I begin to meet the stereotypical profile. Which, I guess, is the whole reason we buy in to this stuff.

Sorry, I don't really have a point to all this. I just feel my darker and more brooding side coming up recently. And if it follows true to my birth sign, the revenge served ice cold will soon follow (relatively).

btw- In other news I have taken up a new hobby; reverse 419 scamming. I can fuck with assholes AND I'm helping the community at the same time.

-Gabriel

Alright, I'll go!!!

So after careful consideration and some 'encouraging' words from Chaos, I have decided to go to Burning Man even if I have to do it 'alone'. Because as Brigit said, I NEED this. I can't quite understand why, but if I think hard about it I seem to know on some level that I do, in fact need this.

Not having Tank there is still unimaginable to me, but maybe this will be the thing that helps my emotions break completely free.

There are still some hurdles for me to jump and my attendance is not 100% guaranteed yet, but having been able to work through the huge emotional barrier, everything else seems like cake (delicious, delicious, cake....). Still need to give Razor half of my paycheck for camp fees and figure out how to afford everything I need. Still need to do inventory and find out what I need. Still need to decide to ride up in Love's truck or follow him in my Saturn (in case I need to leave before him). Still need to look at the trailer in Ben Lomond.

I need a day to let my brain stop. And I think I will make today that day. For the next six hours until I go to bed and wake up for work in the morning, I will not think about anything Burning Man or Tank related. I am going to zone-out, play WoW, and eat some goddamn pizza.

I can start worrying tomorrow.

-Gabriel

So many....

Ug.

-Gabriel