Que Pasa

5 words

funky — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:01:15 GMT

As I am about to embark on a new...and certainly not my last...journey, I have been given 5 words of wisdom from a few of my good friends. I thought these would be the perfect first entries into my new journal. I would love it if you would give 5 lovely, dirty, nerdy, loving, moving...well, you get the idea. You can post them here or PM me. Don't forget happy hour tomorrow at the Crown room between 5-9. I will be there with a endless bounty of hugs and kisses for my friends.

Saving life

funky — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 08:32:35 GMT

I am in LA working and staying at my clients house. She has the best pool in the world. Until now I was the only person that ever used it. I took a nice long 45 minute swim...zen for me. Took a shower and got super dolled up for an evening with my closest friends here in LA. I was just putting the feathered flower clip in my hair and listening to someone else swimming in the pool. I heard some commotion and then many screams of "ayuda" repeated frantically. I ran outside and saw my clients gardeners in hysterics, running around and screaming and realized that the gardeners son was drowning. It wasn't swimming at all I heard...it was flailing. I ripped off my boots and jumped fully clothed into the pool and tried to swim around the back of the man. He saw me and as most people who are drowning and panicking, grabbed a hold of me and pushed me by my shoulders to the bottom of the pool. I saw my life flash before my eyes as someone more than twice my size held me down. I was able to kick off the bottom of the pool and push away from him, but he got a hold of me again. I gave him a huge kick to the gut hoping to push him off again and shock him enough so that I could get around the back of him and bring him to the surface and swim back to the edge of the pool. I still couldn't get around the back of him, but was able to grab his arms and kick with all my life and pull him back to the steps and with the help of his father, get him out, put him on his side and let him cough up the water he had swallowed. I made him slow his breathing and got him a towel, asked him if he needed anything. He was alive, but in shock....and so was I. 3 minutes later Glendene showed up to pick me up. 3 minutes. That was the difference between someone being there to save his life. I was just getting ready to walk out the door to wait for her when I heard the shouts. This is one of the most surreal things that has ever happened in my life. My friends call me a hero. I saved a mans life. I did only what I knew I had to do. What I knew I could do. All those years of swimming to keep my mind as sane as I could. All those years of my friends joking and calling me the She-manitee. All I can think of is that 3 minutes. I think maybe tomorrow it might hit me what has happened. Maybe when I get in the pool and find the necklace in the bottom that was ripped off of me. Maybe then I will find some meaning in all of this.

But I want to be grounded!!

funky — Wed, 07 May 2008 17:10:14 GMT

I have been struggling a lot lately with the fact that I don't feel grounded. I have been living out of suitcases and boxes for almost 6 years now. I still am. I struggle everyday with thoughts of putting those boxes in a truck and going again. Sometimes I feel I am not sure I "know" how to be in one place, but that is all I want. I have forgotten what it is like to not be constantly on the move. To have a home and a steady income. A lover. A pet. Friends that don't forget about me when I am gone and when I am not. Soooo.....last night I had the most amazing and very brief dream. Or so it seemed. I turned into a giant, brilliant pink butterfly and tried to fly off into the sky and this ginormous arm reached up and grabbed me and was pulling me back down and I was fighting that arm as hard as I could until I finally broke free and at that very moment I woke up. I love dreams. I don't analyze them too much, I just like to basque in the wonder, but I must say I felt a little confused. I felt that in that dream that arm was everything that was keeping me from feeling grounded here, but when I think about it a little more, maybe that arm was trying to keep me grounded. Either way, I was a beautiful pink butterfly and I woke up feeling pretty damn good about it!!

Muchas Gracias!!!!

funky — Sat, 03 May 2008 19:13:41 GMT

I had the bestest damn birthday ever!!!!!!!!! Anjali for the morning champagne, balloons and flowers Matt and Tanya for taking me to lunch Alicia for the mid afternoon margs Joseph and Rosalie for the more than generous chocolate feast Bethany for the rock'n est haircut and color ever Matt and Tanya for the evening cocktails Tito for the great hugs and giggles Chet for the sassy cocktail Bethany for the lovely cocktail Sija for the lovely cocktail Jule, liz, and Lara for the lovely cocktail or was that a shot of tequila...losing focus at this point Please forgive me for not remembering the other lovely cocktails because by this time I had too many The Rev and Jen folker for getting this little bunny booty shakin Andy for the glory of the groovebomb and the best hugs ever!! March Fourth for keepin the bunny booty shakin and a lovely stage dance and birthday wish Clint for the late night birthday cake feed Jule for the greatest purse EVER Chet and Lara for the pedicure...which I think I might have to go get today Marissa for the lovely smiles and sassy outfit...just wanted to squeeze you And everyone else who made my birthday soooo much fun After spending the last four years of my birthday alone in Ibiza...not too shabby...I had forgotten how fun it is to celebrate with all my friends and family!! So thank you, thank you, thank you, Muchos Smoochos to all!!

Doin it and doin' it well!!

funky — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:57:08 GMT

I got my first official catering gig today here in Portland!! I am doing a high end dinner for two tomorrow night in a penthouse apartment down by the river...maybe now, I won't have to live in a van down by the river!! I am doin it up super nice and it feels soooo good. The woman asked me to bring lots of business cards because they entertain often and so do their friends. All it takes is one good client and I will never have to worry about where my next dolla bill is coming from. This is a major step for me in feeling like I belong here...or anywhere for that matter. My life has been "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" for so long I am just aching for a place to be...and so I can burn those damn suitcases!! Maybe lerv will come a callin' next?

The Bunny has landed

funky — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:35:47 GMT

I'm here in Portland. A bit in shock. Seems a bit surreal. I realized that there is no return ticket on this one, but I am ready for what is to come. So bring it on peeps!! I want to remind everybody that I am looking for work. I am offering my culinary skills...catering, classes..you name it. I also am offering housekeeping, gardening, and babysitting services. Anything to keep a few bucks rolling in until I build up some clientele. Here is my website for my cooking if you want to pass it on....www.happybelly.net I am also going to be organizing some family dinners and cooking classes. I know a lot of you came to my dinner at the vortex last year and supported me, which was awesome. I will keep everyone posted on those. Let me know if you are interested. I am staying at Chet and Laras for March and April so come by and see me!! Love, Bunny of the Funk

Last night in Barcelona

funky — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:48:15 GMT

Wednesday is my last night in Barcelona...got any ideas. I have to catch a cab at 415 in the morn. I have lived here for 4 years and just was wondering if you had a night in Barcelona what would you do?

Bunny's Big News

funky — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 22:02:18 GMT

After four glorious and not so glorious years in beyond beautiful Barcelona I have decided..finally....to make a huge life change. For those of you who don't know, I have been struggling really hard with the decision for about a year and a half to move back to the states. Letting go of the beautiful european lifestyle I have been living. Trying to figure out where I would move to. Would I really be happy or will I always be chasing happiness? After 8 days in rainy, but beautiful Portland, being surrounded, pampered, showered with love, tequila, prime rib, and more bacon that I have ever eaten in a week, it has become clear that this is the place I need to be. I have the most amazing friends in Portland. I feel safe and loved and wanting to shower all my friends with as much bunny funk as possible. I didn't really make the family connection in Spain ((except for a couple o peeps that I will miss terribly and you know who you are)) and I realize how much that I really need that on a regular basis. So to all my friends, especially my portland peeps, I will be back in the states by the end of February. I haven't felt this good about a decision in years. I am tho eckthited!! much love, Bunny of the Funkiest persuasion

Portland!! Here I come!!

funky — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 18:00:10 GMT

Alright my Portland peeps!! I am coming for another visit at the end of the month. I will be arriving on the 29th at the furry ass crack of dawn and will be there until the 6th of January. Of course, I would like to see each and every one of you, but not sure who will be in town or if I will even have time to see everyone. I am always open to any get togethers one might want to have!! Can't wait...my little bunny foo foo is just so excited with anticipation!! Fellatious Chronnikah!! Bunny of the funkiest persuasion

It's all about the Brine!!

funky — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 04:40:53 GMT

Okay people. It takes a lot for me to post here. It usually is about food or performance and this time is no different. I did Thanksgiving dinner for a client tonite. I brined my first turkey...actually I brined and cooked two. I have done a couple chickens before and thrown them on Los Kentos rotisserrie and they have been super tasty, but nothing compared to what I shoved in my little bunny beak tonite. I bought two 12 pound turkeys and brined them for 16 hours in a lovely kosher salt/brown sugar/spice/love mixture and then roasted those puppies with nothing else added. Hands down THE best turkey I have ever eaten in my life and I am not just saying that because I cooked it. I am saying this because es la verdad. I want to share the love with my peeps. SO, if you want the secret to success...just let me know. Also, I made some of the best side dishes ever. Just ask chef bunny!! Gobble Gobble and pumpkin luv, bunny of the funkiest persuasion

The unFellatiousness of Chronnika

funky — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:33:48 GMT

Why dear Santa Angelyne do I not fell the spirit of Chronnika yet? Is it coming late this year? or maybe not at all? Say it isn't so!! Am I too tired for the fellatiousness? Have I not given enough fellatiouness to my loved ones? I would think as a bunny of the funkiest persuasion that this would be impossible seeing as it is all I can think about these days. I always have more than enough to give. Fill me with your spirit Santa Angelyne. Fill me with whatever you may have. I need a lift. I need some love. Who can help me? I am doing what I love to do. I am cooking up a storm....getting ready to stuff a birds ass with yummy goodness. Will it start when I take that first bite? Will it start when I feel the warmth of that hot tub around my little bunny foo foo will my friends massage my shoulders and tired arms. while a young houseboy rubs my tired feet? .hinthint. Am I expecting too much? So tell me Santa Angelyne, when will you give it to me good?

Potato Pancake with Creme Fraiche and Cavier? anyone...Beuller?

funky — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 08:20:44 GMT

Okay friends. It's that time of the year again where little ol Chef Bunny packs up her rhinestone knives and glitter spatulas and makes the long journey back from Barcelona to LA for a creamy filled Holiday season. I am arriving on the 6th of November and will be there until mid January. I am available for work and warm cozy nights of friendship and snuggle fests. I ask if anyone in the SoCal area knows anybody who might need a party catered or a cooking class taught or a hot date with a sexy little chef, to please pass on my info...www.happybelly.net...is my website that they can check out, but the rates of hire does not apply to the dating part. They are actually higher..jajajaja..just kidding. Can't wait to see everyone. Muchos Besitos!!

whoring myself out

funky — Fri, 11 May 2007 19:09:36 GMT

So, I started working on La Rambla again. I work in a slightly, okay, very sexy kitty costume. I meow and purr and growl and hiss at people and I have soooo much fun doing it. For the most part. Today, someone threw a 2 euro coing out their window at me. It hit me in my fuzzy ass and at first I thought it was funny and great that this guy and his girlfriend were so happy with my costume. I mean, that is what I am there for. But, as I picked it up I felt a little cheap. I have the utmost respect for the statues and street performers. I understand what it takes to put yourself out there to make a life for yourself in this beautiful city. What I have a hard time with is the people who talk shit to you. Now, I know I am no skinny super model but, I can't tell you how many times people tell me I am fat or ugly. There are times it doesn't bother me and I just hiss or spit at them. Sometimes I meow to try and make them smile. or make myself smile. It is times like this when I feel like a cheap whore. Hell, I can't even give it away so I guess that makes me the cheapest there is. There is another street performer that hates me. Today I found out why. He has decided that I am taking his business. Damn!!! If that were true, I should be making more money!!! I keep telling myself to not look down when people give me money to have their picture taken with me. It is the most disheartening thing to do. Today I collected worthless coins from 7 different countries, including some crappy pesetas. Someone gave me 3 centimos and took pictures with two of his friends. On the grander side, one very "happy" british gentelman stuffed 10 euro down my cleavage. This was the point that I felt more like a whore than ever. Why? Because he shoved it down my cleavage. I made him damn happy. He was appreciative. Did I feel it was way more than I deserved for making his day? 95% of the time I really enjoy myself. This is the part I try to concentrate on, but why are we, or am I, so effected by the other 5%? I rock La Rambla!! I am the fucking Glitter Kitty!! I know, I should be the funky bunny, but the mask bit the dust. I make people smile, even when they look like they are about to shit their pants. Does this make me a whore? Besitos a todo de Barcelona!!

Hello my name is

funky — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 18:21:31 GMT

I need to know how to write this in about 10 different languages. Also "please" and "thank you" I already have spanish and Japanese. Who can help me out? Luv, Funky B

Funkdate8.23.2005

funky — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 01:22:40 GMT

I am back on a working trip from Barcelona. Day off poolside with the meemster and sidney george kent. For those of you woo folks who haven't met sid, he is the beautiful baby of Rick and Mimi. Old school Woo baby. Anyway, Sid took his first swim and I was there to document it.