Author's Note: Criss Angel is an illusionist who does a show on A&E where he does stuff that, well, you have to see to believe. Stuff like lighting himself on fire, swollowing a set of pins (and then making them come out of his navel). This is for his Loyals, his hardcore fans.


Criss does a trick: 1 shot

Criss freaks out a person to whom he is doing trick for: 2 shots

Person utters the words "Oh my God!": 3 shots

Person says "What the fuck?" or "Holy shit!": 4 shots

If person... read more

Not too long ago, I came across something on the radio. It said that the movie industry did a survey to find out why movie attendance is at an all-time low. I swear to the Gods, I'm not lying about this! And they found that, quite simply, the quality of movies sucked. So I give some advice for the movie industry.

-All movies that did spectacularily bad or spectacularily good in the theatres shall be forbidden from doing a sequel. Especially straight-to-video.

-The movie industry shall ... read more

10. "You into Manson?"

9. (to a guy) "Does your mother know you borrowed her makeup?"

8. (to someone wearing a spiked braclet) "Is that thing sharp?"

7. "Aren't you hot?"

6. "Why do you wear all that black?"

5. (if you're a frat boy) "Wanna do it?"

4. (especially if person is a Christian Goth) "Would you like the address of a church I know of that helps people like you?"

3. "You a Witch?"

2. "Know of good BDSM clubs?"

and the number one thing you should never ask a ... read more

Q: How do you get a Goth out of a tree?

A: You cut the rope!


Q: How many "normals" (non-Goths) does it take to put in a meat grinder for ground beef?

A. I don't know, but it would sure as hell be fun to find out!


A Goth dies and goes to heaven. There, he meets all his rock icons: Janis Joplin, Hendrix...you get the idea. Then one day, he sees Andrew Eldritch sitting on a *huge* throne. "Wow, " he remarks to St. Peter, "I didn't know Andrew Eldritch was dead."

"Oh, no," Pete... read more

I've just come to inform you that my web site, Good Girls Gone Gothic, is currently on its way to being finished. It's a resource for those of us Gothic girls who are tired of being viewed as "kinky", "loose", or drama queens, whose only problem is that they just happen to wear black in an all-color world. Thank you.

-Ariadne