joined on 02/02/06
last updated 01/30/09
! Sagittarian Love,
"Quote Collectors",
< MAZDAYASNA >,
**TAROT**,
*Beauty Secrets for Divas*,
+ FIXED AXIS +,
-=<{(( LOVE ))}>=-,
12th House (No Apologies),
Abundance Manifestation Network,
Aldebaran,
Analytic Philosophy,
Art//Life,
Astral Projection,
Astrology,
Astrology Now,
Breastfeeding,
C.G. Jung and Archetypal Psychology,
Cancers,
ChakraTribe,
Complexity Theory,
...
-5-9-00-
at some point there was light
and it filled me
once again
its breaking thorugh my eyes
i can see in others
i can see it in the dark
soft
maybe its love
but it feels like something lost has been found
and i now know my name
-------
do you believe in ghosts?
we leave parts
of our soul in all we touch...
i hold her keys
and i feel her transparent
soul move softly through me...
--------
fragmentations
of the night
passed words
lost extasy
wrapped to movment naked under the sky
you say the stars are brillant tonight
unlike ever before
you and i are losing,are love
we legs crossed . pushing harder
fighting against the air
ants gnaw at my back
starframes flash once
-----
a green yellow sky is slowly
waiting for the night. she stood there on the field
feeling quite tall. "winter is coming soon" she said.
she tilted her head upwards to the sky. just overhead
a flock of geese flew
heading south.
she could see their bellies.
sometimes she wondered
"what do they do when they fly south?"
she remembered a time long ago where she stood on the
bank of a great river; watching the movement of the water
flowing south.
"the south must be a wonderful place that both the
geese and the water are always going there."
----------
i like my door to be opended...
i like my windows to be opened...
i like the breezes and clean air to filter through..
i like sunshine..
and i like soft warm showers..
i like cold days and lying in the sunny spots and falling asleep in
the grass..
i like the way the beach smells..
and the sound the waves make as they crash on shore....
.. i like crazy nights..
with no direction..
i like soft summer nights with breezes and necter air.
..
i like walking through abandoned streets downtown after all the
bars have closed..
i like to walk past the fountains and feel the beat of their waters
sudennly so singular and continuing long past the peoples sleep.
i like the city as it sleeps..
the true life of the city come out at this time..
separate.. a wild thing.. they only think they own you...
..
i like stars in the sky so expansive in their breadth..
i like gazing into the neverending beginning
i like streetlights and shooting stars.
.. i like meteor showers and being cold as long as im cuddeled
next to you..
.
i like sunrises after sleepy nights ..
i likenew eyes ..
and sunlight spotting my blankets..
i like waking up in the arms of my love..
and watching the spots of purple on their tender eyelids.
.. i like waking up early
and saturday moring cartoons..
i like swimming naked and drunken with laughter
i like crossing the city with only the intention of seeing a friend.
i like falling into kisses and comforting hugs..
and sweet tender arms so long and loving..
i like feeling breezes on my face out of car windows..
and sunny days with bob marly playing..
i like the sun falling through the trees..
and streetlights shining through leaves..
i like trips.
and the fleamarket and trift stores and dumpsters..
i like not knowing whats going to happen next..
|
-Wallace Stevens
She sang beyond the genius of the sea.
The water never formed to mind or voice,
Like a body wholly body, fluttering
Its empty sleeves; and yet its mimic motion
Made constant cry, caused constantly a cry,
That was not ours although we understood,
Inhuman, of the veritable ocean.
The sea was not a mask. No more was she.
The song and water were not medleyed sound
Even if what she sang was what she heard,
Since what she sang was uttered word by word.
It may be that in all her phrases stirred
The grinding water and the gasping wind;
But it was she and not the sea we heard.
For she was the maker of the song she sang.
The ever-hooded, tragic-gestured sea
Was merely a place by which she walked to sing.
Whose spirit is this? we said, because we knew
It was the spirit that we sought and knew
That we should ask this often as she sang.
If it was only the dark voice of the sea
That rose, or even colored by many waves;
If it was only the outer voice of sky
And cloud, of the sunken coral water-walled,
However clear, it would have been deep air,
The heaving speech of air, a summer sound
Repeated in a summer without end
And sound alone. But it was more than that,
More even than her voice, and ours, among
The meaningless plungings of water and the wind,
Theatrical distances, bronze shadows heaped
On high horizons, mountainous atmospheres
Of sky and sea.
It was her voice that made
The sky acutest at its vanishing.
She measured to the hour its solitude.
She was the single artificer of the world
In which she sang. And when she sang, the sea,
Whatever self it had, became the self
That was her song, for she was the maker. Then we,
As we beheld her striding there alone,
Knew that there never was a world for her
Except the one she sang and, singing, made.
Ramon Fernandez, tell me, if you know,
Why, when the singing ended and we turned
Toward the town, tell why the glassy lights,
The lights in the fishing boats at anchor there,
As the night descended, tilting in the air,
Mastered the night and portioned out the sea,
Fixing emblazoned zones and fiery poles,
Arranging, deepening, enchanting night.
Oh! Blessed rage for order, pale Ramon,
The maker's rage to order words of the sea,
Words of the fragrant portals, dimly-starred,
And of ourselves and of our origins,
In ghostlier demarcations, keener sounds.
Intensity, Surrealism, Symphony
about me
many think upon meeting me that i am younger than i am.. and whether that is just my fresh face or my youthful outlook i do not know. what i do know is that i can feel very old and times and at other times contrastingly very young. i find this to be common in my life.. a contrast of feelings or values or some kind of conflict in general. in fact i kind of like conflict it spices things up. i like life to be exciting, but i also enjoy feeling safe comforted and relaxed, but there is only so much of that i can take before i turn things around, but i have over the years learned from this and i try to make peace with myself and my surroundings , i am just thankful that i was blessed with the ability and grace to do so.. or else who knows i might do something crazy like climb a mountain or crash a plane or some such nonsense.. life has kept me lucky and for that i am thankful. there have been times where i was going to dip of the map, explore the unknown, but lifes swift hand hit me, throwing me back into the right position which is moderation..
"So I walk like I’m on a mission
Cuz that’s the way I groove
I got more and more to do
I got less and less to prove
It took me too long to realize
That I don’t take good pictures
Cuz I have the kind of beauty
That moves"
- ani difranco . evolve
soooo tired, and i have been frustrated but now i think i am over it, however, momentarily.
i feel like i am being singled out and treated unfairly by a teacher i have. at first i thought it was this or that, but now i really am beggining to think that she wants to dislike me and any little thing i do is blown up. i felt like this in a class i had last semester but not this strongly. what is strange is that the opposite tends to happen regularly, where i am a favorite and still singled out. this sucks, and it makes me feel down.
in other news well i just found this on ray johnson. i thought it was interesting and sparked some insight into his work.
"Indeed, Ray's iconoclastic blend of Taoist humility and spontaneous improvization ran contrary to the demands of the marketplace. 'There was no perusal of the meaning of these pieces," Ray told me in 1991,"They just wanted them as objects. 'Aren't these nice! Put them in a museum with nice lighting.' Not the ideas... I wanted to paste things on railroad cars. Nothing to be seen by anyone except coyotes." But when the Pop Art gravytrain appeared instead, "I consciously burned everything in Cy Twombly's fireplace. Those were early nothings... Destroying them was the logical thing to do as a statement.""
www.panmodern.com/Ray.html
i am not sleeping tonight.
i have decided just tonight that i am going to move residences and change cars.
i decided on the place where i am going to move and the car that i am going to buy.
i am excited
i love change.
Sun, January 18, 2009 - 11:17 PM
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this makes me happy.......
YOU KNOW YOU GREW UP IN TALLAHASSEE WHEN...
1 - You remember the Tigersharks, the Thunder and the Scorpions.
2 - You used to stop at a Sing Store or Suwanee Swifty for an Icee or a
Slushie.
3 - You've been to Bradley's Country Store to buy sausage.
4 - You know every canopy road (Miccosukee-Meridian-Centerville-Old
Bainbridge-Old Saint Augustine)
5 - Your Mom shops at the Farmer's Market, Market Square or Tomatoland.
6 - You remember when the area code was (904).
7 - You remember King Love (and what he smelled like!).
8 - You call Momo's, Decent Pizza, Village Pizza and Gumby's before
Domino's, Pizza Hut or Papa John's.
9 - You've shopped at Kevin's Sporting Goods (because you had to have a
Browning jacket in high school).
10 - You went to the two-story Chuck-E-Cheese.
11 - You know how to drive through a round-about.
12 - You went to St. Teresa, Alligator Point, Wakulla Springs, St.
George, Apalachicola, and Panama City every summer (and for spring
break).
13 - You went on school field trips to the Capitol and when they took
you to the top you tried to find your house.
14 - You listened to Hot 101.5 and Z-103.
15 - You went to Camp Indian Springs.
16 - You've eaten at East Side Marios, Jim and Milt's BBQ, Barnacle
Bill's, Noble Roman's, The Mill, Moby Dick's, Rax, Buckhead Brewery, The
Bagel Peddler, Paradise, Posey's, Angelo's, Andrews (Grill, Second Act
and Upstairs!), Barnaby's and Mom & Dad's.
17 - You used to LOVE going on field trips to the Junior Museum and
REFUSE to refer to it as the Tallahassee Museum of History and Natural
Science.
18 - You've been to the Old Pisgah Church fish fry and the Coon Bottom
Chicken Pileau.
19 - You went to "Midnight Madness" at the North Florida Fair.
20 - You ran in the Jingle Bell Run or the Turkey Trot (or just signed
up for the t-shirt).
21 - You played sports at Forest Meadows, Winthrop Park, Levy Park,
Messer Field, Tom Brown Park, Capital Park, or Myers Park (and TPRD is
on every
"jersey" you ever had as a kid).
22 - You have gone on a date to walk around Lake Ella.
23 - You saw shows at Floyd's, Cow Haus and The Moon (and thought you
were so cool cause you knew someone - or everyone - in the band).
24 - You went to "Young Adult Night" at The Moon when you were in high
school.
25 - You went to Lafayette Dances in middle school and you thought John
Summers and the Music Machine was the coolest.
26 - You've watched the fireworks at Tom Brown.
27 - You think the new Tallahassee Community Hospital looks like a hotel
and you still call it "the new hospital".
28 - You drive through Dorothy B. Oven Park every Christmas to look at
the lights.
29 - You went to a birthday party in the caboose at McDonald's on
Thomasville Road.
30 - Skate Inn had an East and a West.
31 - You can remember Leon always beating Lincoln in football... and
when Godby won two state football championships.
32 - FSU football games were for socializing and you met your friends
at the flag pole in the end zone.
33 - You remember the "Spirit Spear" in the other end zone.
34 - You remember no school after Hurricane Kate.
35 - You actually know how to get around downtown!
36 - Mugs and Movies, The Varsity, Capitol Cinemas and Parkway 5.
37 - You went back-to-school shopping at Northwood Mall.
38 - You remember when Killearn Lakes was WAY out of town.
39 - You've been to the Market Square Chili Cookoff.
40 - The Thomasville Road Sing Store was where the Leon people went, The
Killearn Store was for Lincoln.
41 - The "Why lie? I need a beer" guy in front of Governor's Square
Mall.
42 - You partied at Late Night Library, Fatty's and Skinny's, The Cab
Stand, Metropolis, Kahuna's, Bullwinkle's and Poor Paul's.
43 - The best Christmas present was Turtle's Tokens.
44 - You had a skating party at the Armory (now the Senior Center).
45 - You took ballet and tap at Salter's School of Dance.
46 - You had a Shirley Temple at The Brown Derby.
47 - You went to the library when it was downstairs at Northwood Mall.
48 - You were a "YMCA Winner" and you had a shirt that said so.
49 - You released garnet and gold balloons at Doak Campbell when Osceola
planted his spear on the 50-yard line!
50 - You've never seen the Prince Murat sign completely lit (or without
vacancy).
Thu, January 15, 2009 - 7:36 PM
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I remember seeing this quote a long time ago and thinking that it seemed like the most reasonable definition of courage. I think that it was around the time where I really liked the image of the open window.... there is something unexpected about the open window.
freedom...
was the theme of those times.
i could float away on the air I breathed. It was so light.
there was air, openness,
and the sweet nectar of love.
we were kids then.
we were just seventeen.
.
I remember the morning
the knots in the wood.
I thought something strange of the integrity of the wall
against the warbled waves of sound.
Your voice, was different that morning,
everything was new.
Looking back it feels very much the same.
Sat, January 10, 2009 - 9:45 PM
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Fri, January 9, 2009 - 9:23 PM
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