every morning, i type up a journal entry from a past date that will eventually be compiled into a book of some sort. this came forward today.
geez, i say the darndest things...


2/18/08

"LATER"

am i overwhelmed

by myself?

by all the possibilities

i hold



by all the pain

and sufferring

i hold?



do i freeze

do i strangle

do i supress



myself



or is it you?

or is it you?



is there a you?



or is there just

a me?



do their eyes

make me cry

because of their

sufferring

or

from their great love and respect



is it me

or is it you?

is it you?



THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!



why

when i'm with you

does it feel

i have to hide

all of who i am

that i threaten



why do i play

this game

of being small

so you can keep

thinking

you're bigger?

you're invulnerable

you're FINE?



why?



why does this truth

only come through

in solitude

when high



is there just a me

berating

judging

or

is there a you?

is there a you?



a you?