I have been active in the BDSM community ever since I had my first computer 10 years ago and found the plethora of kinky information that is online. I immediately found kindred spirits and joined a local BDSM support group, Anvil Dungeon Society - Oklahoma Chapter. I went to my first munch/play party and after that I realized that I wanted to learn and experience all I could about the many different facets of Dominance and submission, Bondage and Discipline and Sadomasochism.
I quickly learned that I identified as a Switch in the lifestyle, but also learned that Switches were misunderstood and not completely accepted by "The Old Guard" Leather Men and Women. Like anyone, I wanted my place in the BDSM community and wanted to "fit in" comfortably. I was told by many Doms/Dommes as well as many submissives that a Switch was merely a newbie that had not yet found themselves as a "true" Dom/Domme or submissive of slave. I knew in my heart what I felt for both Top and bottom roles was "true" to me and I stood my gound and proclaimed vehemently that I was a "true" Switch and that someday I people would believe me and come to an understanding that I was right, for me anyway. Before my first sexual experience I knew that I had primal feelings regarding Dominance and submission and desired both roles.
I had a normal sex life in highscool, casual dating, then serious dating which quickly led to heavy petting that eventually led to losing my virginity with a "nice girl" who was "in love" with me and I her. I soon realized that I wasn't meant for love with a "nice girl" and we broke up. The pain of losing my first "true love" was typical I suppose and I survived. I began dating more open minded girls based primarily on lust and had more fun than I did being in a monogamous realtionship. After highschool, my parents tried to insist that I went to college. I had okay grades but excellent ACT and SAT scores , but I wanted to find my direction before persuing higer education. I bought my first motorcycle and started my first full-time job as a carpenter. I enjoyed working with my hands building houses and the money was good. I started dating older women - "hippie" women to be precise. I have nothing but praise for all those free spirited independent women that were so eager to tutor me in carnal knowlege and I was always a willing student. I learned much about the female body and mind and how they worked together to create orgasmic bliss. It was all gentle but very vigorous sex with the occasional Ménage à Troi. But something was still missing from this erotic "soup"... hot spice I thought, but what kind of spice? I still wasn't sure but I had ideas forming in my mind, spurred on by my first glimpses of Ms. Bettie Page in acts of Bondage and Discipline that I had seen at age ten when I first started to masturbate daily.
I grew tired of carpentry and began working as a VW mechanic and quickly moved up to being a Porsche+Audi mechanic at the local dealership. I still was having fun with older women and didn't get tired down to any one relationship. When I was 20 I wanted a little more adventure so I sought out work as a roughneck on an Oil & Gas rig. I found myself working in Shreveport, LA, then in Mobile, AL on deep Oil & Gas rigs. The work was hard, seven days a week and even though I was making more money than I ever had, I had no time to spend it, The crew I was working with in Alabama were all "card carrying" KKK members and needless to say, I did NOT fit in.
One day while driving to the rig location for work I rememberd one of my early highschool part-time night jobs as a dishwasher at a Steak-N-Ale restaurant and how much fun the waiters seem to have making cash money every night and seemingly always partying and passing around the waitresses. I gave my notice that day and drove 16 hours straight back to Tulsa and went to work at Steak-N-Ale where I learned to push my boundaries a little in that I had to wait on and converse with strangers for tips. That job more than ony other taught me how to deal with all kinds of people and think on my feet. I soon had enough money saved to buy a 1973 Ducati 750 Sport motorcycle that I rode every chance I could, even opting to ride it to work instead of driving my Karmann-Ghia.
I was now 21 and serving alcohol illegally in Oklahoma and having a blast after work going to discos and after hours clubs, meeting more upwardly mobile young women with higher educations and even broader ideas of sex and eroticism. My latent ideas of Bondage and Discipline finally manifested themselves in experimentation with willing female partners from the discos. I stopped at garage sales and bought lots of large silk scarves, ping pong paddles, leather belts and hairbrushes I deemed suitable for my first BDSM scenes. I also fequented the little lingerie stores where strippers would by their outfits used to ply their trade of seduction. I bought lots of garter belts, seemed stockings, push-up bras and several sizes of high heeled pumps to offer women I dated that would allow me to dress them up as "sluts" and Dominate them sexually to include Bondage and Discipline. This was IT, the missing "spice" in my amorous erotic adventures.
With each new encounter I gained confidence and wisdom in how to give a woman permission to let the latent slut inside her to come out and play, and then "force" them to yield to my sexual desires. It was a beautiful dance of erotic lust and desire for both of us in ever increasing mental intensity. Completely having my way sexually with attractive intelligent women became my primary focus, after work and riding and riding my Ducati. But then again, something seemed missing. I realized that I too wanted to give up control and be Dominated sexually by an experienced contolling type of woman. I NEEDED to find a Dominatrix! The hunt was on.
The internet was only being used by very few people back then and the PC had not been introduced yet. I was limited to publications I found in the local adult bookstores and newsstands. I tried teaching otherwise ordinary women the kind of Domination that I desired but what I really wanted and craved for was a natural Domme. After years of frustration and not altogether satisfying experiences "Topping from below", I found a personal ad on an adult bookstore bulletine board that read " Mature Dominate Woman ISO submissive men". Could it be true? Did I actually find a Dominatrix here in Oklahoma with real time experience? It turned out that is was true, I had found what I had been searching for for years, my first real Mistress. I left a message with my phome number, bought a few Dominate Women magazines and went home and masturbated repeatedly with the prospect and hopes that she would call me and interview me as a potential submissive sex slave.
She was real alright! She called a few days later and asked me a lot of very pointed questions about why I had responded to her ad. I must met her qualifications and she proceeded to tell me a little bit about herself. She was very intelligent and had just decided to change her life at the age of 49 by divorcing her (as she put it) boring, cold as marble, vanilla husband and taking early retirement from an upper level IT management position with a Fortune 100 company. She embarked out of state on her quest for BDSM knowlege to become a Dominatrix, with Ms. Nancy Ava Miller as her mentor in New Mexico. She asked me again if I was truly interested in pursuing a D/s relationship with her? I told I truly did and that I was eager to learn all she could teach me about BDSM and the Master/slave dynamic model. We agreed on a day and time to meet at her place for "inspection" and further negotiation and that I should come prepared to play if she deemed me worthy of her time and services.
The story continues...
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