November 22, 2007
Even After All this time
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe
me."
Look What happens With a love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky."
~Hafiz
Dear Yoga Friends and Family,
Happy, Joyous, Blessed, Abundant, Thanks-Giving to you, your families, and all those who are in your realm of loving-care.
The longer I teach the more I am convinced that this practice of yoga is designed exclusively to lead us toward an ever-renewing state of gratitude. The Niyamas, or personal disciplines of yoga, emphasize contentment as an integral aspect of blissful existence. Contentment must be cultivated, a particularly tricky task in a culture that promotes insatiable consumerism. But yoga manages to cultivate a state of happy appreciation in it's followers, without even getting them to tackle Patanjali's Yoga Sutras (or attend a free yoga philosophy lecture, although it couldn't hurt!). The act of practice itself, of showing up for asana, pranayama, meditation, chanting, just the act of finding a parking space to get to class on time, it all leads us in the direction of gratitude.
First we are lured by something: a promise of well-being, or flexibility, or community, or even just a workout. Perhaps we are grateful that yoga is so plentiful now, and that finding a place to learn is so convenient. Once we show up to practice, we are struck by the realization that there is so much more to yoga than what we bargained for. Did you find somewhere in your heart (as I did twenty years ago) a profound sense of relief that the study of yoga IS deeper and wider than any of us can conceive at first contact? I was so happy to know I wouldn't get bored two months along, or somehow see the "end" and feel underwhelmed by its limitations. My hope is that the current popularity of yoga hasn't lessened this reassuring experience of relaxing into the lifelong learning journey it provides. Yoga isn't fast food, it is an exquisitely prepared on-going feast of unlimited courses, fresh, savory and sweet, carefully prepared, perfectly food-combined dishes of contrasts and compliments, of rich life-experiences, mysteries and adventures and rituals in which to transform ourselves.
Once we get a taste for yoga, we make a commitment to ourselves. We let our intrigue take us deeper. We show up, We sit down on our mat in class, close our eyes, and thank ourselves and our stars that we managed to make it to class. We try, sometimes our best, and sometimes not our best. Sometimes just showing up is all we can do. Thank God/dess that yoga understands that, and says it is o.k. to just show up. And then the challenges begin. When things get sweaty we are grateful we got enough sleep the previous night. We are grateful we didn't eat a huge meal before class like last time! We are thankful when our teacher uses strong sure hands to adjust our posture. We are grateful when our teacher recognizes our effort. We are grateful when our teacher lets us rest, or when we can allow ourselves to take a rest. We are grateful, so grateful for savasana. And so grateful for lunch afterwards, or bed, or the smiling face of a friend.
We get lost and found in our practice. We make opinions about ourselves, our abilities, our faults, our limitations and our masteries, our teachers, our mat-neighbors, our home neighbors, and our enemies. And then, on a hunch, or because our efforts cascade us down beyond the ability to hold a grudge, because we effort to the point of surrender, we begin to cast those opinions aside to look deeper within. We see the emerging pattern of our own emotional reactivity, the shadow of our past conditioning and survival throes, and how they serve us or hinder us. We try new ways of approaching our effort: less striving, more compassion, effort without willfulness, without conquering, loving effort. We make surprising discoveries about ease and allowing, about ebb and flow, about holding on and letting go. Slowly we begin to move beyond our smaller concerns and complaints, as something very calm, clear, and essential (of our essence) begins to surface, a way of being that is story-less, present, aware, gentle, vivid, joyful, real.
We notice subtle shifts in our daily life, a certain grace and self-forgiveness begin to enter in. We let some old habits fall away, and find ourselves forgiving others more easily. We take time to think before we act, considering the consequences of our behavior on those around us. When we find compassion in an unexpected place, we recognize it's warm vibrational signature, and we are ready to receive it, cherish it, and return it in kind. We continue our practice and begin to understand that what happens in the quiet moments at the end of class is a glimpse into our true nature, beyond pain, confusion, memory, anticipation. Gratitude permeates us in these moments of feeling at one with the universe. In our cells, in every aspect of ourselves, we embody the energy of gratitude. Is it possible to feel like this all the time, we ask? Yes, yes! Believe it or not, it is possible. A voice inside us sings in joy at the possibility of feeling that good all the time. And so we take our practice "off our mat" and into the world, and shine our light of thankfulness in every different circumstance, more brightly, less brightly, but stronger every day. When we clear ourselves of internal issues, concerns, complaints, traumas, injuries, illnesses, the calcification of old feuds and misunderstandings, we shine our light into the world and allow ourselves to be at its service. Through gratitude and appreciation for this life, we make our light available to the enlightening of the universe.
*******
I am thankful for so many things this year. My life has been blessed with many exciting changes. I am thankful for Garrick, my love and my partner, and all the lessons offered by being in sacred relationship. I am grateful for my new teaching experiences this year, especially for my partnership with Tracy and Polarity Healing Arts in Hawaii. I am grateful for my new home and the healing, teaching, and performing possibilities it promises. I am grateful for the matrix of this physical body which records and reflects all of my changing emotional states and helps guide me toward full expression. I am grateful for the luxury of deepening my healing wisdom through the plant medicine offered in essential oils. I am grateful for the dedication of my one-on-one students, whose continued dedication to svadhyaya (self-study) is nothing less than courageous. I am grateful for my dear friends, for my loving family, for my extended yoga community, and for perhaps the first time ever, the growing grassroots leadership in this country that is beginning to embody an enlightened vision of what is possible on this living earth of ours.
(www.coyotenetworknews.com/produ....html)
Expressing gratitude is a way of shining our love out into the world, agenda-less, clear, open, happy, ready to play in the waves, full of appreciation for all that is. We are all suns shining our light out into the world. How wonderful that feels! What a privilege to be alive in this time of great change and possibility.
I am grateful that YOU are here to share in this big experiment with me.
My love and my light blending with yours,
Michelle
