I miss you

I am sorry for leaving with out saying anything. I faided away into the shadows. Did anyone notice?
I crave to be apart of this world, but have never felt connected. I want to be accepted but I dont want to be changed into everyone else!! I hope to be embraced by everyone instead of being judged. People talk a lot about how they are open minded and do not judge, but if thats true then why do I feel written off and isolated? is it my age? is it because im quiet at first? is it because im not apart of the "inner circle"? Is it because I say what I think and don't censor myself even to the "group leaders" Maybie it is because I am trying to start my life off right. Working 2 jobs and going to school is keeping me from patying and spending all my college money. Is it because techno isn't my favorite music? Is it because I play the guitar instead of spinning decks? Don't people here like to stay in and hang out? Go to dinner?Just come over to a house and watch a movie, take a dip in the pool or smoke a bowl? I wish this world was less clique-ish. I feel it calling to me. When I was getting ready for the conclave it made me burn brightly inside and out. made me happy and not as stressfull. It ave me confidence and helped me find who I am.
I love everything that this world represents. I crave to be connected to my inner goddess and to experience life with everyone who is willing to explore and expand the depths of their mind, to question reality, to feel life and embrace the good and the bad. To dance the night away until the sun comes up! to cause mischief and swim in the moon light ocean naked! push our bounderies and understand it is ok to make mistakes! Its ok to feel pain! Its ok to be happy!
I love and crave the feeling of tapping into my inner light and letting it flow out of me into my poi. Let my passsion and feeling transform into physical, dangerous and powerful fire that takes over me and helps me express my happiness, pain, and ambission.
people may read this, they may not. But i am here. Speaking more to myself and the universe then anyone really on here.
I miss you all! I crave connection to people with these values.

Having a bad day??

Chin up, chin up
Everybody loves a happy face
Wear it, share it
It'll brighten up the darkest place
Twinkle, sparkle
Let a little sunshine in
You'll be on the right side
Looking at the bright side
Up with your chinny chin chin

Chin up, Chin up
Put a little laughter in your eyes
Brave it, save it
Even though you're feeling otherwise
Rise up, wise up
Make a little smile begin
You'll be happy hearted
Once you get it started
Up with your chinny chin chin!

Chin down
You can't come frowning
Turn around
Starting, clowning
Think sad, your troubles double
Think glad, they burst like bubbles

Chin up, chin up
Every little time your spirits wilt
Chin up, chin up
Give your attitude in upward tilt
Twinkle, sparkle
Make a little fun begin
You'll be on the right side
Looking at the bright side
Up with your chinny chin
Chin up!