32

Top 5 favorite stories to tell: 1) GUERILLA LOUNGE ACT. And they all agreed, it was the best graduation ever. "Who was that fabulous singing drag queen?" 2) FALLING FLAT-ON-MY-ASS IN LOVE. It happened so fast, I had actual physical symptoms. If I were a cartoon, you would have seen little hearts emanating from my fluttery eyes. 3) ESCAPING MY ATTACKER. A demonstration in adrenaline. I never knew I could run that fast or scream that loud. It was the shrillest sound you've ever heard come out of someone's mouth, and it was completely beyond my control. Note to women: this scares the hell out of men. 4) THE EATON CANYON INCIDENT. It took a recon chopper and a 10-man team to get us out of there. I promise not to hike off-trail again. much. 5) NIGHTSWIMMING IN THE RED TIDE. Actually, it was blue. Electroluminescent blue. The water lit up when disturbed, so that all of our naked swimming bodies were haloed in wisps of blue light. It also works when you pee.