Life...

It seems to me that life is a constant state of transition. One chapter ends and another one begins almost simultaneously. Figuring out which way is up and which is down. Is sanity better than so called "insanity". Both have their pros and cons. I found a lot of myself while teetering on the edge of insanity. Things I had known were possible, but only experienced while in that state. Was I just not able to handle the truth or had I only found a false sense of it? I look back and question the meaning of everything while trying to move forward with what little knowledge I still carry with me. I miss my friends and thank them for the fun and learning experiences they shared with me. I still feel/know the meaning of life is to give and receive love. That is the one thing that has remained constant through all of this transition. So I can honestly say that I love you all and I am working on the rest. Thank you for letting me be me and loving me anyway...

Fucking Cigarettes

I am on my second full day of not smoking. I noticed a huge difference last night from not smoking for just one day. There was no wheezing and it wasn't hard for me to breathe like it usually is. So, it feels great thus far. I find I don't take any breaks at work now and I have to resist the urge of taking a drag from one of my co-workers (did I mention that everyone I work with smokes?). This habit doesn't serve me in any positive way. For now, I will allow myself to smoke on those oh so crazy nights when I am fucked up, cuz smoking brings me much pleasure on nights like those. Other than that, I am proud to be a non-smoker.