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Strange Dreams of Terrifying Little Girls...
Anyone here into dream interpretation?
I tend to interpret for my friends but when it comes to myself a little help is always nice. I was wondering if anyone could help me out here with this strange little problem I'm having- I just woke up from a dream involving- well I suppose you could call it the dark goddess appearing to me in the aspect I personally find most terrifying- as that little girl from "The ring". In my dream I was trying to protect a weakened child- a little girl who had done battle with the other one and who was in my dream like a niece or something. And suddenly I go running throughout this big house, preparing for battle, grabbing the kitchen knife, trying to lock all the doors. But the scary part is that its a house where the latches do not usually close due to water damage on the wood of doors and windows. So I think I've put the niece upstairs and I'm rushing around trying to barricade things when I open the window and look down into a kind of moat and I can hear her whistling up at me, catcalling and toying with me like the way condescending people call out to a little dog. I shut the window and feel foolish that I'd been given the change to destroy her before but at the last minute had set her free. Now, terrifying as it will be, I have to find a way to kill her and she's going to have so much fun driving me out of my wits with terror. This is when I wake up, heart pounding at 4:22 AM.
Any dream interpretations?
Let me give you a little back-story: I just did an inner child chakra meditation that someone had suggested on the chakra tribe. It was supposed to be gentle magick but took an odd turn: Here's what happened because it involves this strange aspect...
"I was actually about to do a tarot reading for a friend and wanted to do this meditation first, and ask for the assistance of my divine child in the reading. I sat down and did what you described. But instead of my divine child arriving, someone quite unusual appeared. At first it seemed like a child's body, only she had the face of an old frighteningly gnarled woman. It was such an aged face that it could not belong to anyone who lives a normal span of a human life. And then the body was shaped like a child's, only bent slightly and more rigid and not fresh and soft like a child's. It was indicated to me that she was there to guide me and make sure I was on the right track. Afterwards, while she remained, the divine child arrived skipping about playfully as she does and helped with this and that. My divine child, by the way, is a lot like Alice in Wonderland.But I was wondering about the appearance of this new figure. Several possibilities struck me- one was that she was an unusual manifestation of the dark Goddess as the crone who appeared alongside of the child to create a triad with me as the maiden, another was that she was a reflection of the parts of me which are stuck in the past and the future (old age and child's body), another was that she was there to reflect the deepest aspect of my horror- because the kinds of horror films which scare me most are ones which involve frightening children like the little girl in "The Ring", and that in this meditation I was being asked to find tenderness in what startles and repulses me, so I sort of tenderly touched her face and shoulders and respectfully received her presence into my life. All of these interpretations can be true at the same time but anyway I was wondering what anyone else thinks about all of this."
Let me add that this happened when my husband was away in Assam and while he was there he got rather drunk while I was rather drunk in Bombay, and he nearly died by falling into a twenty foot deep ditch, just barely managing to crawl out while hanging onto some random vines. When he got out he looked into the ditch, had an image of me falling into it, and then saw the same gnarled face of the old woman I described (he didn't see the childlike body).
So anyway I'm confused and rather spooked by all of this. Feeling a little wary of going back to dreamland if it involves a night of wrestling with .....um.....who am I fighting- well myself obviously.....I think.... The niece figure was very like my divine child and I'm not sure why but although the girl from the ring and the old woman with a child's body seem different in waking life, right now, I think that they are the same when I sleep. They are images the goddess shows me because traditional images of her in her terrifying aspect are beautiful to me....so, as usual, she finds the vocabulary of my nightmares to get through to me. Is she telling me I'm lying to myself if I think I can handle her most terrifying aspect? Is she telling me I'm still so attached to my ego that when she shows up to release me I start grabbing kitchen knives and lock the doors and fail to recognize that it is she? Obviously warring with her is futile but it almost seems as if she's egging me on- she wants me to take up arms and take my best shot before....well...I don't exactly know what she plans to do to me! Help!
This dream story does seem to involve for me the dualistic manifestation of her in the battlefield of my limited self, as two magickal female children at war with one another, with me attempting to intervene....hmmmm....I mean I'm guessing I have to figure out how to make the peace but she just seems so....evil when she's angry!
Any and all thoughts would be very much appreciated!
Goodnight....I hope...
Jai Ma,
Tara
The Great Escape
Something I keep planning for- you know I keep it in my pocket-that locked up locket I open to check if I’m still here-
And I’m looking out of that little prism inside it
full of dragonflies and little girls watching firebugs fly
and all that twilight stuff that used to smell of freshly cut grass
on warm summer nights when raspberries tasted like wine
And your memory wasn’t a memory yet- it was a ball of twined wildflowers
and me just counting the hours till daybreak-
when I wake up older and pull on heavy clothes-
my bubble-headed space suit to wear to work
and the cord attached between me and me is thin
But I used to dream of trampolines and outerspace-
And jumping ever higher till the earth couldn’t land me-
No I had to keep jumping up higher
and I’m still carrying that heart-shaped locket with its little hinge door
And I’m convinced I’m going to jump through for good
Go tumbling into space and you’ll see me like another firefly
Trailing the starlit sky watching little girls dream
Of trampolines and someday lovers…