jesus...
did you really die on the cross? or was it an imposter? were you really a celibate dude? or were you married with kids? did you spawn the merovingian dynasty? or is that all just a load of crap? well...either way- i think you were a stand up guy. a real mensch. to allow yourself to be crucified... to preach love and tolerance. and my favorite jesus quote in the bible " peace, be still." but what i really want to know is- did you get sent to hell for 70 years for sins you commited during your life? and what happened during those unaccounted for years in your life? who were you schtupping?

Jesus, achi, how can you let these Christians go on defaming our people? Are you rolling over in your grave (in the basement of the Vatican) shuddering with the horror of what your so-called followers are doing? Us Jews have suffered enough and while I can dig the criticism you felt was due to our people, I cannot comprehend how our biggest haters are your followers, or how these people claim to follow you and are yet UTTERLY ignorant in the one book you knew by heart.

Jesus, wake up dude and smell the coffee. People seem to have even forgotten that you are Jewish. Your people need you and you are nowhere to be found. Plus it's impossible to find a good carpenter in Jerusalem these days.

Jesus is just alright with me.

Thank you, Jesus!