It's all about ME!

Going cruelty free

Ailsa — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:07:42 GMT

Sometimes I REALLY hate the people will treat others...... and I don't just mean other people, I mean all creatures, especially ones who have no voice and no choice. I am talking about animals. So, I have made a conscious effort to start buying cruelty free products. I beleive that my household cleaners, hygiene supplies and beauty products do NOT have to be tested on creatures who have no voice and no choice. This has been challenging in that many of these products are expensive, hard to find, and don't work as well. So far, here is what I have found that does work: Products that I use and I like: Paul Mitchell shampoo and conditioner Mary Kay, Revlon, Almay, and Clinique My soap is made locally by someone in Hannibal Seventh Generation Laundry detergent and fabric softener Ecover dish detergent (the best so far but not great) Eucerin and Aquaphor hand cream Burt's Bees products (some I like, some I hate) Bath and Body products (except these are all scented; so they are only good for gift-giving) Things that I have tried and I don't like: Method products have a great container (I am a sucker for packaging) but they do NOT clean my dishes at all, I often have to re-wash them and this is wasteful; because of this, I will not try any of their other cleaning products. Jason deoderant (works for about an hour, then, it FAILS) Tom's of Maine deoderant (same as above) As I run out of my current products, I am replacing them with cruelty free ones. I do not recommend throwing everything out and starting over. You have already spent the money, you might as well use it. As I have said before, these products tend to be expensive; so this could be hard on the pocket book. Revlon and Almay cosmetics are convenient and affordable, so good for them. Also, there is a laundrey detergent brand called Sun that you can get at Walgreen's or Family Dollar/Dollar General type stores that is very inexpensive, however, I have not tried it myself. So if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, or comments, please feel free to share with me. I welcome the feedback. Also, if you want to know more about animal cruelty, feel free to do some google searches or check out my friend Constantia's site on Tribe, it is eye-opening and heart-wrenching. Be kind! ~Ailsa~

Easter memories

Ailsa — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:32:58 GMT

So, Tarl and I both have memories of this chocolate bunny....... Remember getting this solid one and a hollow one? The hollow one was for instant chocolate gratification and the solid one would go into the fridge for the long term. You could always eat the bunny ears, head and tail but then it was always too cold and hard to finish. Remember trying to bite this and then your drool would warm it up and just enough to get a drip of chocalate saliva that runs down the outside? When I got older, I was evolved enough to be a tool user. I would get a hammer and a screwdriver to chisel off chunks of the chocolatey goodness, hence the birth of my big fat ass probably........Oh......yeah.......good times.

Insightful!

Ailsa — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 18:21:20 GMT

Sometimes, the more I am around people, the more I think we should listen to this cat. Did you ever see the movie "Idiocrasy"? It is a comedy where only the stupid people were reproducing like drunken bunnies and the smart people were reproducing at a much slower rate. The future turned out to be a very grim farce. It's a very funny movie but sometimes I wonder if it is not foreshadowing a bit.

Remember this?

Ailsa — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 07:06:28 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkhdMwQQ1fQ So, when I was a kid, I was profoundly impacted by this powerful video. I remember, after watching this, I made a conscious decision about being more aware of what I was doing with my own garbage. I still think about this video once in awhile and wonder if it had an impact on others as well. On Thursday, Doug and I were driving through one of the more beautiful and upscale local parks on our way home from my parent's house and we were both struck by the amount of garbage that was scattered about the grounds. It was pathetic! I can't believe that in this environmentally conscientious day and age, we are still throwing garbage out the windows of our cars. This sparked a conversation about this very timeless video and how moving it is/was. I think it should be aired again. So, I am posting this here and maybe somehow this will encourage people to be more aware of their actions. I am certain that NONE of the people that I have in my friend network need to be reminded of this but this is just one way of reaching out to the people of this planet; so, to my friends...... Sorry, I do know that I am preaching to the choir, so to speak, but perhaps you will at least enjoy the nostalgia of this video. Keep America Beautiful! ~Ailsa~

Things to be thankful for.....

Ailsa — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 16:03:44 GMT

So, I haven't blogged for a very long time. I have a great desire to write about things that I feel compelled to share, however, many of them involve the type of people and situations that I deal with at work and since I work in a hospital, I feel it is in poor taste and could be considered a HIPPA violation if I put things in print that affect me. Like, how people always want me to give them something for nothing; and somehow, it is my fault that they don't want to work and I need to convince the government that they are truly disabled. On the other hand, I don't understand how many of these people on disability can still go hunting and ride their ATVs and have computers and take vacations and have multiple cars, continue to drink and smoke but they have no insurance and can not afford to buy their meds or pay their hospital bills Yes, I now refer to myself as having become a corporate bitch rather than a rebellious hippy that wants to "stick it to the man". I am not thrilled that I have chosen the way of the corporate bitch, however, corporate bitches get a nice retirement plan, whereas rebellious hippies ....well, ....not so much. .....Now don't get your panties in a bunch by my comments, I am speaking allegorically here. I know plenty of rebellious hippies who have jobs and are able to plan for their retirement as well, but they don't work for "the establishment", or they do work for the establishment but when they get tired of the bullshit, they will simply move on to somewhere else. I, on the other hand, do work for "the establishment" and I have embraced their coporate values and comply with their rules and regulations because I want my security of my future and this job looks pretty good for me. Do I like my job? Yes, most of the time it is okay but I don't love it. You know there is a reason it is called work. So, I am thankful for having a good and secure job. I am thankful for friends and family. I have the most wonderful husband who is also my closest friend. I am thankful for my sense of humor and that I can find humor in many things....It is a wonderful coping mechanism. I am thankful that my dear little kitty companion of 17 + years is still healthy and sleeps with me every night. I am thankful that our country is moving in a new political direction and that finally the American people opened their eyes to see that we needed change and not McSame and his ridiculous running mate who couldn't lead this country out of a wet paper bag. By the way, as far as politics go,.... I work with many republicans and my family were all big McCain supporters too. They have made it known how horrible Obama is and this country will likely implode due to this election according to them. They are outraged about this election and are screaching about the end of all things wonderful. Now, I do understand their feelings, because that is how I felt 4 years ago when W did not win (well, he did not win the popular vote - that was John Kerry - W won the electoral vote - which made him president), and I felt that way 8 years ago when he did not win then either. However, I will say the one good thing about W was that he is funnier than hell! The man is the WORST speaker but damn the stuff he would come up with....... BRILLIANT..... and God Bless that evil media for never letting his social ineptness get old..... YAY! So, my condolences go out to all of the mourning conservatives, I know how you feel, but if we could survive the last 8 years, we will survive this next one too. ....And, don't worry, in 4 years, you will have the opportunity to change it again and may the best candidate win ....just like what happened in this election......FINALLY! (oops, sorry if I offended any conservatives with that last little jab, but ....what the hell..... it's MY blog!) :-) So, in 4 years, when Palin runs for this office (and you know she will). Please remember this video while you are at the polls: (WARNING: this video is NOT PETA approved) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-kjM1asH-8&feature=related ....Oh, and who is at fault? The media? Palin? It doesn't matter if you eat meat or don't, you have to agree that this is in very poor taste on BOTH of their parts.

celebrating milestones

Ailsa — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 02:22:40 GMT

So, Tarl and I celebrated 20 years of marriage on Wed. I can't believe how time has just disappeared but I am so glad that I had him to share the last 20 years. I believe that I have found myself what I call a "catch" and I am looking forward to the next 20. I sure do love that guy!

How cool is this?!?!?!?

Ailsa — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:22:36 GMT

I soooooo want to be this woman! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bHggbPZjuM&playnext=2&playnext_from=QL

I live in a pond with furniture!

Ailsa — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 02:28:13 GMT

So, the Midwest rains have been freaky! On Tuesday, we had an extremely bizarre rainstorm during the night. Since, we live in our bunker-type house, we are always unaware of what the weather is like, however, I was awake most of the night Tues (as was 3/4 of Quincy's population) because the storm was extremely loud. Also, probably because I just got a tune up on my bionic ear as well, but that is a different story. Anyway, when I got up and put my feet on the floor I felt a very strange and extremely cold squish under my feet. At first, I thought that Princess had gotten sick but as I moved my feet, I became aware that the entire Nort side of my house was soaking wet from my kitchen which had a giant puddle into the middle of the floor to my master bathroom and it was a span of about 2 feet wide. SUCK!!!!!! Now, we just spent several hundred dollars taking care of the south side of the house that normally has this problem and it is now dry but now we have the north side. .....Sometimes, I really HATE this fucking money-pit that we just had to have because it is historic and cool, and we got to determine how we wanted it to be built. .....After buying another fan and dehumidifier and going through all of my towels, everything is now dry. I don't think my carpet is ruined, but it will have to be cleaned which sucks because it is only a little over a year old. I did learn, however, that we actually had it rather mild in comparison to how others had it. Many people who had dry basements ended up with water in them. When we bought our dehumidifier, there was only one more left on the shelves. Also, I quickly learned that there were homes on the east side of town that ended up with raw sewage in their basements as well and there homes had to be treated in the manner of a toxic spill. Oh well, I guess it can always be worse, still, I love this house less and less these days.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Ailsa — Fri, 23 May 2008 22:51:17 GMT

Well........ I don't know if I believe in ghosts but I DO believe in things that happen that I can't explain. So, here is what happened to me yesterday at work: My office is an actual pt room at the hospital that has been turned into an office. I share this office with 3 other Care managers and 1 Social worker. My desk and one of my coworker's desks is actually ment to be in a cubicle. It has an upholstered towerwith an overhead cabinet. It is a very nice space and I have always enjoyed my office and my coworkers. As a matter of fact, I like my office so much that I prefer to work there rather than to be out at the nurses station where all of the action is. The other great thing about my office is it is a great place to have family conferences and the nurses have a safe and private place to come and "discuss" what is going on. Yesterday, a nurse neede to see me about one of her patients. This is just a normal run of the mill day and a normal run of the mill situation that we are dealing with. Kim (she is the nurse) sits in my coworker's chair in the middle of the room so that we can have our conversation. As we are talking, something flies off of my coworkers desk and hits Kim in the arm. We are both stunned! "What was that"? She picks up a push pin that was originally stuck in my coworkers upholstered tower (used appropriately as a bulletin board). .....NOW,.... there were only the 2 of us in the room....... I ask you, how does a pin come out of a bulletin board and fly half way across the room? Tarl thought that maybe someone on the other side of the wall was doing some construction or hit the wall or something, BUT....... this wall is on the 3 rd floor and it is the end of the building. Besides, if that were true, the pin would have just fallen out of the bulletin board and onto the desk and then rolled to the floor. This had some force behind it as if it were thrown. Kim is convinced that there is a ghost in my office. I am convinced that something happened that I can't explain. There is still more to this story.... I use a laptop that uses the hospital's wireless network. For the last 2 weeks, I have been frequently kicked off the network for no reason. When this happens, I will lose my work if it is not saved. This really pisses me off. Yesterday, after the incident, I was CONSTANTLY being kicked off the network. I made 3 calls to our help desk because, not only was I getting kicked off the network, I was getting a blue screen as I tried to get back on. I even traded out my computer because I was wasting so much time. This made no difference AT ALL! I finally found a network cable (don't tell anyone because I actually took it from someone else -but they weren't using it- they use wireless......dumb ass) and then connected that way and I turned off my wireless. Even after I did that, my computer was still occasionally looking for the wireless network. I did not leave work until 7:00 PM last night because of all of this trouble.......THAT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! So, tomorrow (Sat.) I have to work. I will be one of only 3 care managers in the entire hospital. I will stay in my office most of the weekend unless I have to go to another department to take care of any problems. I will likely be a bit jumpy. I hope my computer will work for me or else I will have to go to someone elses office to get my work done and who wants to do that. So, what do you think? Am I being haunted? Is this just something that I can't explain? It is just a bit freaky don't you think?

Another cool version of my favorite Cantiga

Ailsa — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 01:58:30 GMT

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QfTky3V07k4&playnext=3&playnext_from=QL

What's my favorite Cantiga?........

Ailsa — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 02:06:14 GMT

This is why I love it, check it out: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1lUhfZwUkUg&feature=related

It's that time of year again.......

Ailsa — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 00:35:35 GMT

I totally LOVE these psuedo-ice cream treats. The shamrock shake is very elusive but I gotta have one at least once a year.......DE-LISH!!!!

I couldn't say no.......

Ailsa — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 02:39:42 GMT

I am teaching again. I was asked by my old boss if I could teach a cardiology class for them and I said yes. They agreed to pay me an hourly wage and I am doing this on several Saturdays this month. I am actually happy about this and I am glad that I have not severed all ties with Ed. Services, I just wish that things would have been different in that old job. Anyway, when I got to class on Sat, the first student to show up was none other than my old boss from Ed. Services, that felt odd. I asked if she was planning on teaching this class in the future and she said that she had always just wanted to take a structured class to see if she missed anything from her self-taught class that she took many years ago. .....I think the real reason she is there is to decide if this class is truly necessary to take as a structured class or could it be a class that is taught via a computer-based learning program. I do hope they keep it structured and that they will continue to hire me to teach it. It is my FAVORITE thing to teach and I am thrilled to get to do it again. Oh, and the picture is one of a sort of semi-famous nurse educator. I hope to someday get a hat just like hers.

I have forgotten about these guys....

Ailsa — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:50:09 GMT

Have some fun with this http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf

She is so special!

Ailsa — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 04:45:25 GMT

This is my beautiful little cuddle buddy, Nissa. She has been renamed the "Princess" because that is truly her personality and I have allowed her to be the spoiled little princess kitty that she is. She is my only remaining pet and my bond with her is extremely special. She is 17 years old and I have turned down multiple offers of kitties (even rescue kitties) because it would make her pristeen life absolutely miserable and I would NEVER do that to her. I took her to the vet the other day because she has the sniffles and after $250 later, we found that her kidneys are at the brink of failure, her liver is small, she is anemic, and she has something "suspicious" in her stomach. However, there is nothing wrong with her upper respiratory system. It is recommended to change her food, give her some medicine and push fluids subcutaneously daily. Now, I always said that I would NEVER do this to a pet, but guess what, I came home with a bad of saline some tubing and 20 gauge needles because I must "SAVE" my precious little baby. Now, let's remember that other than the sniffles, she eats, sleeps, cuddles, demands food and attention, and plays with her rings and catnip toys just like she has always done for the last 17 years; nothing else has changed. So tonight, my husband and I tried to give her the bolus of fluids at home; ... we failed miserably. She became extremely anxious and frightened before we even stuck her. Then she cried from the needle stick and she continued to become worked up into a state of panic. Tearfully, I stopped everything! This will NOT be how she lives out her final days! The doctor said that I will have to do this for the rest of her life too....FORGET IT.... that is not quality for any of us! My other option is to bring her in to the vet and they will give her fluids there..... NOPE.... she is too terrified of being in the carrier and going to the vet. Who does this to their animals? This is torture for all of us. Quite frankly, I don't want to appear to be a bad kitty mommy but I just can't do this. I love her too much. We will change her food and give her a pill once a day but if she doesn't like the food, or the pilling becomes too stressful, she will get her way.....it is why she is the princess afterall.

Whew, Man am I tired!!!!!!

Ailsa — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:52:50 GMT

So, today is the first day that I have off work since I came back from Vegas. I have been working my old job in Educational Services and trying to learn this new job in Care Management and now I am finally DONE with Ed Services (who is ED, and why did I have to service him?)! I loved teaching my Cardiology and Advanced Life Support Classes in my old job. As a matter of fact, I will admit that I loved having the credentials of: Training Center Faculty, Lead Instructor and Course Director for ACLS. It looks all authoritative and empowering on paper but in real life, it meant nothing. I am so dissappointed that it didn't mean more money. Anyway, I agreed to continue teaching these classes for this fall and this stint is finally over. They have not replaced my old position yet but I think that they are going to ask me to teach these again in the spring too. I hope that I can find the strength to say no. Although I did get paid extra for these classes, I did not get time and a half and these 50 to 60 hour work weeks are one of the reasons I left that job in the first place. Here is the good news, though, I was offered an 8% raise to take this new job in Care Management and that is significant. This week, I just recieved another 4% raise. I would have had to stay in my old job of at least 3 more years in order to make this amount of money. So, how do I like my new job you ask? Well, it is okay. I don't love it and I didn't expect to love it either, but I do like it 12% more than my old job, and now that I am not working both of these anymore. It will get even better. Thanks for listening, now I'm going to go take a much needed nap.

na na na na na na......You say it's your birthday.....na na na na na na......It's my birthday too

Ailsa — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:04:31 GMT

So, this young happenin' feller turns 40 on Wed. Oct. 24. I fell in love with him over 20 years ago and I love him more today than I did yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that, etc. He is my best friend and companion. He can make me laugh till I cry and he makes me feel safe and secure. He is brilliant, a true genius! He is kind to everyone he meets .....even those whom he doesn't like. He loves animals and I love to watch him play with them. He always knows just what to say when I am feeling down and somehow, I know that he positively adores me without having to say a word. He has grown into this incredible multi-faceted individual and I am simply blessed to even know him let alone share his life with him. I am so glad that we never gave up on each other but instead we embraced our differences as parts of the total package and we love the faults as we love the assets. Happy birthday my Monkey! I love you more than you will ever know. ~Ailsa~

Las Vegas hookers

Ailsa — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 03:40:57 GMT

Well, to answer Constantia's question........ Tarl and I did play "find the hooker" and well, it was a lot like where's Waldo. I am certain that many of the girls we saw probably weren't hookers but they just shopped at the hooker fashion boutique and were attending the How to be a Ho seminar. I had heard that Velvet Jones was presenting and selling his books out there last week..... or maybe he was in Branson..... I am not sure. Anyway, the first hooker we saw were a whole gaggle of them as we were at the airport at baggage claim......WELCOME TO FABULOUS LAS VEGAS!!!!!! Tarl was the first to spot them, bless him. As far as the drinkin' goes. ...That was a bit of a challenge. Let me just say that Vegas is damn expensive! $20 for 2 cosmopolitins is outrageous, however, it was worth talking to the drunk curvy booby lady at the bar who was wearing her bra as a top and blouse as a jacket. I felt like I was in a Seinfeld episode. She was a stitch, she just had to have a cosmo like Tarl and me because it was so pretty and pink; then she and her date du jour felt compelled to mock Tarl for drinking such a girly drink. However, Tarl told them he was secure enough in his masculinity and then flexed his bulging biceps and they were both convinced that he could handle it. They were cute. If you want to get your drink on, it is best to sit in the casino proper and play the penny slots. A nice lady will give you whatever you want to drink and it is free (but I suggest you tip- and I know that everyone who reads my blog would agree with me about tipping). The shows in Vegas ROCK! We saw a vampire booby show called "Bite", it was good if you like sexy dancing vampire chicks in thongs and no tops.....and hey,....who doesn't? I thought it was interesting though that the queen of all the vampire vixens had the biggest boobs. Is that how you get to be queen? ....and why isn't it working for me?...... We paid real money to go see KA by Cirque de Soleil and it was positively breath-taking and worth EVERY penny. I recommend it if you ever get there. I don't think I breathed through the entire performance. I would go back to Vegas but I don't have to. I hated losing my hard-earned money in the Casinos and I despised the smoking in all of the Casinos too. The most surprising thing was that it is very easy to get around town using the public transportation. I would so use buses and trains to get around town if they were as nice as Vegas and as convenient.

What would YOU do?

Ailsa — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 02:11:05 GMT

In a few days, I will be leaving on my first trip ever to Las Vegas! I am so excited! I will bet it is every bit as blinky as Time Square and that will make me VERY happy. I am not much of a gambler, although, I'll be in Vegas and it is kind of what that place is all about; so I will at least try a slot or two.....hey get your mind out of the gutter....! Anyway, if you had 5 days in Vegas, what would you like to do? ~Ailsa~

Update on Tarl....

Ailsa — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 21:51:52 GMT

Well, Tarl read my blog and he thought that I made him out to be kind of a bad guy; so, I should clarify, he is not a bad guy, he is wonderful and funny and smart and handsome and one hell of a generous lover. That is why I became so emotional about what could have happened. It didn't have to get so bad before something is done about it. I am sure that none of you think any less of Tarl but all feel glad that he is still with us to host LAN parties and make us laugh and he will still do the intermission dance for me (the real reason I love him, right there - it's GREAT!!!!!). However, he still continues to recover from vacation even a week later. We took him to the doctor and all of the pertinent tests were run. So far, we have the results of some tests but not all. I will not go into detail about what we found because that is private and not for me to discuss, however, I will say that his Chest x-ray showed that he has pneumonia. No wonder he is not recovering. You will be glad to know that he has some follow-up appointments and he has assured me that he will be keeping them. I really do want to keep him around for awhile longer. I am not quite finished with him yet.

My vacation to the mountains

Ailsa — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 04:03:14 GMT

Well, for years now, I have always wanted to share a trip to Estes Park and the Rocky Mountains with my best friend and husband (they are the same person). We got invited to an old friend's wedding to be held in none other than Estes Park; now we have a double reason to go the mountains. Our good friends, Kensor and Maggie were going, so we figured.....why not? It will be fun! Let's go!! YAY for the mountains! ...and other happy mountain noises. To start off, I have been feeling that my vacations are doomed lately by some horrible tragic thing happening. My cousin died right before Pennsic a couple of years ago, my cat died while in Europe, Doug's mom died right before we went to Fort Lauderdale, another one of our cats died before Lilies this year and an uncle died at the same time. Last year before Lilies, a dear friend was diagnosed with a glileblastoma (a brain tumor with a death sentence attached). I couldn't help but think,...what will happen with this one? Well, 2 days before we leave Kensor gets in an accident and breaks off his 7th vertebrae. Well, there it is, something to ruin this vacation too. However, it didn't ruin it. We all went on the trip and Kensor was a trouper. Better living through perscription pain meds! We only had to cancel a few things like the white water rafting and the horseback riding. So, our first night in Denver, we went to see Cirque de Soleil Corteo. It was fabulous!...No...it was better than fabulous! The first performance was these beautiful young ladies in their silk fancy underwear doing acrobats on lighted beautiful chandeliers. It was so beautiful, I had tears running down my face and I couldn't stop. I really become easily moved with live performances because I know how much work goes into these things and I often feel like it is ALL for just me. Of course, I am married to a man who doesn't understand that tears are not always negative and it is not always because he has done something to upset me. He freaks out whenever he sees tears and he always feels that he must fix the problem and fix it now......my hero. Anyway, he never understands the "All this beauty in one place" phenomenon, it's cute and touching and he becomes so attentive....lucky me. :-) So, bottom line is, Cirque de Soleil RAWKS!!!! If you ever get a chance, go see one, it is so very worth every tear. Well, Denver was fun and it is a lovely city full of museums and beautiful parks. You should also spend a day or two in Denver before going to the Mountains to acclimate to the altitude. So that is what we did, then, on Tues. we slowly make our ascent to the Mountains. On the way, we made some sight seeing stops and one of the highlights was to tour a gold mine. I had an absolute blast panning for gold. I did find some flakes and I was allowed to keep what I found. Everyone else got bored but not me, I was happy looking for the shiney. Moving forward and summarizing: There is no more beautiful place on earth than the Rocky Mountains! We even hiked a mile and a half around beautiful Bear Lake with the snow capped mountains in the background. Once again, ...."All this beauty in one place"....and then the waterworks. I am such a sucker for the majesty of it all. Then up to Nymph lake which is a half mile and it is all up the mountain to get there to another sight that is just as lovely as the one before. We took it very slow to get there, we would say okay, can you make it that rock up there? Then we would go that much further and of course rest and scout out the next rock we would travel to. The combination of the high altitude and our big fat asses made this a HUGE challenge but we made it and we feel pretty good about that. Neither one of us thought we could do it. Hooray for us. Then we got to see our friend and his new bride. It is always good to see old friends. Rusty's parents live in Estes Park on the mountain side in a beautiful log-style home. It was all fancy and classy and very elegant. We met his family and her family and they are all very sweet and freindly. I was so excited to see my friend so happy with a lovely bride. He has wanted this life for some time now and I am thrilled that he has found it. So, I mentioned the altitude several times (foreshadowing). You see, the altitude took a horrible toll on Doug. We first drove up to Trail ridge road on Wednesday and it is 12,000 feet in altitude. The higher we got, the worse Doug felt. He got very short of breath and nauseous. As we descended, he perked right up as if nothing had ever happened. We decided not to take that drive again but we would stay lower. There was nothing to see up there anyway except the barren mountain and a visitors center. He could tolerate knocking around at lower altitudes with very little trouble,....or so we thought. You see, Doug has sleep apnea, we all know it and we all know that he refuses to have it treated. Because of this, I am used to seeing his lips dusky in color, he is also pale and I am used to this too. On Saturday, he really struggled to get up and get going and he was having a terrible time catching his breath. He got up, shaved, bathed, packed and got down to the car and was looking about the worse that I ever have seen. He said he felt at one point that he might pass out and that he may decide to go to the ER. That is all I needed to hear. His nailbeds were dusky and took 4-5 seconds for his capillaries to refill after blanching; it should normally only take <2seconds. He was struggling to remain awake and I said, let's go now to the ER. He thought he would feel better after coffee but we all talked him into going. The Urgent care center was just next door to our motel; so that's where we went. He was able to walk unassisted but his voice was only a whisper. I figured his O2 saturation was in the 80 percentile by now (normal range is above 92%) and that from all of the literature I had been reading, this was a simple case of altitude sickness. The nurse was very nice and the first thing she did was check his O2 saturation, which is exactly what I would have done. His sats read 57% with a heart rate of 134. Now, I am an old ICU nurse; it is rare that I have ever seen sats this low and when I have, the person was put immediately on the blower (vent) or they died. I was certain that something was wrong with her pulse ox......DENIAL!....There was nothing wrong with her equipment. My husband was about to make me a widow. The nurse got O2 as fast as she could and he responded to it immediately. As his sats began to climb higher and higher, he turned pinker and pinker and became perkier. Unfortunately, he had some bronchospasms which lead to wheezing and he required 3 breathing treatments and the entire morning he was wearing oxygen AND not complaining about it. He was scared. I was scared. He had no idea how sick he was, and neither did I. You see, because of his sleep apnea, his oxygen level is automatically low (probably a lot lower than we think), and the higher altitude has a lower air pressure and we need to breathe faster to keep our levels up. With sleep apnea, you actually stop breathing for 10 - 30 seconds at a time which only makes the altitude sickness worse. Once we returned to sea level, he was his old self but is now on 2 inhalers. Unfortunately, he has no tolerance for activity right now and he is not out of the woods. Here is the upside to all of this... On Thurs, at 11:30 he has his first appointment with a healthcare professional in many years. This was his wake-up call and he has answered it. There is a silver lining to all of this after all, I just hope it is not too late. Me, I am relieved to not be a widow. I am happy that I still have my best friend to love. I am sad that this is what had to happen to get him to act on his problem. I am angry at his selfishness for waiting so long to see someone. I am hurt that he did not respect my professional knowledge and experience to know what I was talking about when I would explain how serious this is. I feel guilty that if he would have died, I would also be very angry at him for making me endure this while being 800 miles from home. I am ashamed because of how unhealthy we both are. Other than that, I had a wonderful time. I will post some pictures soon.

Hormones and Steriods don't mix!!!!!!!!!

Ailsa — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 05:03:03 GMT

I have been extremely homonal this week and I am on prednisone too. I knew that this is gonna be one major pychotic weekend, oh my poor husband. I have been on prednisone before and therfore, I know what to expect; also, everyone knows what a hormonal woman can be like too. I bought all kinds of healthy snacks for the voracious appetite that I will get and I will try very hard to be aware of my behavioral urges and struggle to keep them in check. Well, tonight, after just 3 doses, it happened, I felt the effects of that lethal combination. A long time ago, Tarl felt compelled to tell me how he does not like to eat with the shorter salad forks; he prefers the bigger dinner forks. Naturally (because I am such a devoted and loving wife who only lives to see that her man is completey happy and 100% satisfied at all times...AND I really can't stand the thought of my big burly manly hunk of a man eating with such a precious and delicate girly little salad fork), I separated the forks in the drawer so that there would be no possibility of ever getting the two mixed up and upsetting the cosmos of meal times. However, sometimes, Tarl will empty the dishwasher and do a load of dishes for me. This is quite possibly due to the fact that he does appreciate how very hard I work at keeping his life completely stress free. However, he can't seem to understand that when he mixes up the salad forks with the dinner forks in the drawer, I must work even harder to separate the two at mealtimes so that his life doesn't end up in complete and utter ruins because he might have to eat with a small immasculating fork. ...He wouldn't think the fork to be so useless if it were accidentally thrust into his eye now, would he?!!??!!? You will be glad to know that I almost immediately recognized what was going on when I was having these most cathartic thoughts and I decided to laugh rather to act on this impulse. Tarl informed me that he is glad of my choice as well because he is still using both of his eyes and plans to continue to do so for awhile yet. I am also glad that I did not act on this as well because after another week or so, when the drugs start to wear off and the hormones subside, I think I would feel a bit sorry about making that choice. Well, 2 days down, and 5 more to go. If you care about Tarl and feel the need to let him know how you feel, you should do it now... you know... just in case you never get a chance to do it in the future. Also, you should let him know that he is very brave to live with such a loaded weapon right now, he would appreciate the support. .....and Munki, if you read this..... thanks for being such a good sport, you know I love you very much and I would NEVER stab you in the eye, well, not with a salad fork anyway.*SMOOCHES*

Happy Harry Potter day......

Ailsa — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 15:11:03 GMT

Are you into these books? I would normally not be interested in a book like this. Back in the day, they were childrens stories and I was not interested in the least. When I started hearing all of the controversy about these stories, I wanted to form an opinion for myself. This goes to show that even bad press can be good press. Well, I hated it, I barely got through the first few chapters. I had no problem with the witches and wizards and muggles ideas (grow up, fundamentalists),.... I simply could not tolerate the Dursleys. I couldn't take how abusive they were to the poor boy. I was so depressed that this boy had no one to befriend him in any way at all. I picked the book up again after being convinced by a fellow reader that it is worth getting through the first few chapters; that it gets better and it is all worthwhile in the end. Well, they were right. I read the first 3 books back to back. JK Rowllings is a story-telling genius. I can't get enought of her stories. With every new book that was released, I was amoung the first to get a copy. My husband and I would actually have discussions about which one of us gets to read the books first. We decided to read them together, I would normally read the story out loud when we would go on a long trip together to help pass the time. This was quite enjoyable for us and this is how the last 3 books were read. Today is a bittersweet day for me. I have been looking forward to this last book and yet I don't want the Harry Potter series to end. With the ending of each book, I felt that I was not going to see my friends for a very long while and I would actually feel sadness that another year at Hogwarts had ended. This time, it's final and I will truly feel the loss at the end. In a few hours, I will pick up the last book and begin the final steps of this journey through Harry's life. I wonder how it will turn out........... By the way, I chose to trust Snape. What do you think?

The point of no return

Ailsa — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 03:48:49 GMT

Well, I did it. How could I possibly turn down an 8% raise and less time spent at the office? I have accepted the position of Care manager for patients in our hospital's step-down unit. This was not an easy decision to make; I have no idea if I will like it but my department is not keeping me happy and I have been given a way out. Currently, I go to work at 7 or 8 every day and I don't come home until10 hours later. When people are on their death bed, no one ever says, "I should have spent more time at the office". I will no longer be teaching which I LOVED doing, but both of my departments have agreed to let me teach my cardiology and Advanced Life Support class this fall. I feel very strange about this change, some of my co-workers actually shed tears today when I told them that I was leaving.... that was weird but I will miss some of these folks immensely too. Here are the known positive points of this position: * I will be having patient contact again. * I will be working less hours. * I will be making more money. * I like everyone in this new department. * My new boss is an old friend (sometimes that can be a negative). * I will have one office in one building and not an office in one building that is 2 blocks away from the hospital. Here are the known negatives: * I won't be teaching my favorite classes. * I will have to work 1 weekend every 6 - 8 weeks. * I will be on-call 1 holiday a year (this is not really a negative). * I have a lack of certainty about this job. * I will have to go toe to toe with doctors to be a patient advocate (I can do this, it's just not very fun). That is a pretty even list of pros and cons. However, I did it; it's over; and it's official.....there's no going back.

Decisions, decisions

Ailsa — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 01:57:18 GMT

I have a major decision to make. My interview went very well today. I was only half way through when the manager said, "Well, the position is yours if you want it". Since I have never done this kind of work before, but instead, relied heavily on the Care manager to make things happen, I truly don't know what it will be like. I have no idea if I will like this, however, many have said it is a lot of work but less stressful than what I'm doing now. I won't be teaching (which I love) but I will get my vacations when I want them AND the pay increase is OUTSTANDING! It is actually more than 5% (significantly). I don't know who will be teaching all of these classes that I have coming up in the fall, but for this amount of money, I should NOT care.....and still I waffle. I have always said that sometimes, it is NOT about the money but maybe this time, it is. Check out what my horoscope says for today... Are you on pins and needles about an upcoming verdict or decision? You shouldn't be. It doesn't matter what other people think right now, because ultimately the outcome is up to you, and the way your life changes (if it changes at all) is totally up to you. You can allow people to voice their opinions about what you are doing, but you do not have to obey them. Now is not the time to hand the steering wheel to someone else. You are in charge, so flex your muscles -- it will feel good! ...Very interesting, if you believe in that sort of thing.