...what is called ‘white trash’

I had the worst dinner of my life yesterday even so the food was good.
I guess I made a healthy experience because I was blinded by the fact that my friends and the people around me are like me.

What was on the shopping list?
Pasta+organic tomato Sauce (homemade Pesto already there) with Chicken
Lettuce, tomato and Cucumber; goat cheese for a salad
Orange juice to drink

I was always amazed by the cleanness of the house of this couple. Specially the kitchen. We always have pots out, clean dishes hand washed in the sink, fruits in bowls…
No, this kitchen is spotless.

I want to make the salad; I ask for a bowl. No bowls in this house. NO BOWLS? How can you not even have a bowl for a salad; I ask myself. The only thing they have in the size we need is the noodle drip off ‘bowl’ with the cuts on the side. There are 2 pots; great. At least we can make Pasta. Where are the plates? No plates? How can you not have plates I ask myself. Oh; plastic dishes; I see. One time plates, one time forges; spoons and knifes. One time everything; even the cups. I try not to make them feel uncomfortable but I get so nauseous I want to puke. I couldn’t eat much. They laugh as I said they are not thinking ecologically enough. The argument is always: “I choose to and I pay for it; so what are you going to do about it”? I ask them if they want to do a field trip with me (I have to say they are older than me) to one of those holes they blast in the mountains to fill them with trash but they weren’t really listening anyways, at least they stop laughing. After the dinner, I want to put the rest of the salad in; oh yeah, which Tupperware? From the way the fridge looked; I can tell that the tomato and the half cucumber will go bad and than be thrown away. I ask myself if having to much money makes people ignorant, I just don’t believe what I see.

I had to leave as I met the trash can. A 500 L thing filling out the whole closet with only one trash. For everything. For glass, paper, plastic and compost.
To lazy to wash dishes.

I met white trash. And I am confused. I guess I really didn’t know that people like this existed. And that in their reality, everything they are doing is totally normal. But not in mine.



~~~Image from www.portlandmercury.com/portland/Content
another interesting link if you like statistics: www.auburn.edu/projects/s...y/facts.php ~~~

BUT I CAN’T

I hate this sentence. I think it is meaningless.
People should avoid abusing this word wrong and start to speak properly.
Most of us use “I can’t” instead of “I won’t” or as an excuse because they are doing something else. Why can we not say what we really mean?
Is it so hard to say: I’m sorry, I’m lazy?
And if we wouldn’t have the lame excuse
“I can’t” and we would have to say what makes us not being able to *whatever*, I think we would consider better. Because I can’t sounds so much more excusable than: I actually planned my evening with sitting on the couch and not trying to help you fix your car. Just watch yourself the next days and see when you use it.

Another learning proper speaking lecture would be the I-SENTENCE.
What sounds more insulting to you?
“You said you hate cats” or
“I thought you said you hate cats”?
Because, in fact, you can’t blame somebody for hating cats (I love cats by the way), but you can easily start an argument with the YOU-SENTENCE where there is no need to. People live in different realities (I am a part of yours in a different way than I am a part of my own and so on) and do have different opinions, so what?

This planet would be so sad if we would all think the same way.

If one would teach us how to use language properly, if we would pay attention to every moment of life, if they could be a universal understanding…

one of the only pics of Seba and I...

... from the last vacation 2005.
We where already so familiar, we forgot to take any pictures of the two of us.
It just felt as if we are a never ending story; and who needs images when you can
have the original to look at every day!

Jup, that's the men I love;

picture taken in Braunschweig

My Happy New Year Entry

Yaaaayyyh, it is almost the end of January and I finally made it to another blog entry…
I got phases… sometimes I can not work but do all my paper work from the last 6 month in a day, sometimes I can only work but not eat, sometimes I cook 4 hours but don’t do what I should (like cleaning or bills) and so on. I think you know what I’m trying to say.
So lately, I am basically only one thing: Obsessed with my boyfriend. I can drown in my feelings and totally let go of my grey every-day-surroundings. Swim in a lake of desire and get tears in my eyes thinking about all the time till we will see each other again (that is the part where I get sad and that’s my excuse for not being able to focus at work) or I get overwhelmed thinking about all the time we can spent together once we survived the next half year *I am dreaming so intense it builds up a second reality almost…*

But now, I have to focus.
On all the other people I love; whom I couldn’t give as much attention as usually (well, ‘usually’ in the sense of how I was before because I can’t picture myself not being in love anymore...we’ll see where that goes :-p). Well, I finished up another Christmas Gift, finally. For my best friend Kelly. Her and I have so much in common, and we give each other solid support what you don’t find all the time in friendships. We have something totally precious and we’re taking good care of it.
I made her a collection of memories of the best times we had with the people she loves.
I am so prowed to be done. And I am so thank full for my booty of metals I am hiding in the basement of our house, they are so beautiful aren’t they?

God, everything is so beautiful today.
I'm so in love...
with life (and Sebastian *feix*)

No. II of my favorite summer shots

Steve... isn't he a beauty; Edie; your lucky. Both of you!!!

No. I of my favorite summer shots

deticated to JoJo -we miss you all...

I LOVE HOUSE MUSIC

So... it is house music what is ruling my mind. I know a song for every moode; I get them constantly spinning in my head... some people live for their pets, or there think constantly about there collection of 'what do I know'... I'm obsessed with house music. there you got it. My weakness point. My addiction, focus of my passion... *lol* feel like dancing right now... *sing* going down to... lalaland

picture: fresh from the press; my friend Sean spinning at Pixel in Ithaca, NY

micro ships in clothing... who has too much money???

I found this in a -not cheap- sweater of my mom... isn't that crazy? And I can't get that thing out because it's glued to the fabric *grrr* wonna pull it apart and make picks of it under the microscope...
oh, yeah, check out these cool tiny silicon prints (scroll down a little bit first) on
micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatur...dex.html

love it!!!

more artsy stuff

I love this, don't know what got into me but imagination, sharpies + silver liner will do it :)

aquarell-watercolor

I know soooo many freaking great artists that I'm embarrassed
to call myself one; but I am and I love to draw. watercolor is the one thing I have my problems with; I like to turn everything with coal into black and white. I love color, don't misunderstand me. But I can't handle it - tooo many possibilities - right now. Progressing and still working on it so... always learning new skills :) Here's one from last year....