I feel like I fell asleep in late December and woke up and it was April. Very surreal.

First, right after Christmas, I was hit by Cedar Fever. Hit HARD! I thought I would sneeze my brains out! I never want to go through that again!! But just when the cedars were letting up, and I could finally breathe again, things just got worse: I came down with Mono.

I came down with Mono???? WTF? I am thirty years old for F*** sake, I can't have Mono! Mono is for college students, and I'm a junior-year-drop-out. With a JOB and a MORTGAGE. Mono is just not in the plan.

Worse, it was Spring, and as a gardener, I make more money in the Spring than I make the entire rest of the year, but this year, instead of stashing money away for the lean times I was SLEEPING 20 HOURS PER DAY!!! My gardening clients had to pull their own weeds and no serious planting got done, and it was a drought year, so a few things died because I wasn't there to water them. Oh, just everything about the past few months was sucky.

So, anyway, if anyone wonders where I have been . . . I have been asleep for two months.

Send Money.