AirAligned, my aerial dance group

warning: Not Faire related!

That aside, I wanted to mention to any that live in Northern California, that I'll be performing January 26, 27 in Grass Valley, CA. Even if you know for a fact you can't make it, you might still enjoy our Promo Reel. (Due to tribe's automatic link editing, this link is not showing properly. Please add the first part with the second in your address bar, minus the space in-between: www.youtube.com/watch ?v=ERVgoeggBqs)

If you want any more information, just ask! Or visit www.AirAligned.com. I'm sad to see this season end, but greatly looking forward to next, and seeing some of you before then!

Ciao

Fliptastic, Revisited

[continued from "Fliptastic"]

Right, so I left off last time basically explaining my complete lack of physicality. After a year of Army life, my best PT scores were as follows:
2 mile run: 12 minutes
2 minutes of pushups: 64
2 minutes of sit ups: 82
PU and SU are timed, and you do as many as you can. I assure you, that was the highest improvement of anyone in my battalion. So, I got out, started working as a video game tester and designer for Take 2 Licensing until I started studying with NASM. Immediately after that, I began massage school. (Remember back, if you can, that this is when I started teaching myself acrobatics.) With all my newfound skills and training, I would throw back flips just about anywhere: schools, stores, streets, restaurants, clubs - yeah, just about anywhere. Some people got annoyed, some passersby paused and complimented me. Basically, I did it for me because I *could.* It entertained me, and furthermore, I know that I've always enjoyed seeing people flip and such, so I imagined others would appreciate watching somebody doing such.

(We'll come back to that point, but first a little more background.)
I've always had a young appearance. I usually looked 2 - 3 years younger than my chronological age. Face, voice, height, and lack of facial hair (joke's on all you hairy guys now - I STILL don't shave) all contributed to an overly youthful appearance. Even now, I get the "aw, you're so cute." Or whatever. BUT, in the beginning of last year, I first started getting people thinking I was OLDER than my chrono age. Yeah, totally passed by my actual age. I was 20, with people telling me they thought I was about 28. Sure, they thought I looked like a young 28, but it was just imagined that I had a young countenance. Part of it was a developing, muscular body. Part of it was my mannerisms and speech (from birth, I've acted older than the standards of my age - I know there are others of you out there that have always had older friends and never been able to hang out with those of your age: it was like that and then some for me). A lot of it, apparently, was confidence. Yes, self-assurance.

Even doing nothing, I had enough training with my father (ex Delta Force member, if that means anything to any out there) to know my limits in whatever I could do. Like jumping. As far back as I can remember, I could always know within an inch the height which I could jump onto, over, or not. I knew my limits with climbing and high-distance falling, too. Anyway, the physical aside, I also knew my mental limits. Or rather, knew that they weren't limited. I firmly believe you're limited only by your thoughts. True, your thoughts get shaped by your environment (parents, peers, and the rest of the population), but they are what govern you.
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Upanishad, anyone?
Right, so I know full well what I can and cannot do. I like to find my limits, push them, test them, and expand them.
(Ooo, we're getting close to the leading point.)

I believe it was last year when I first started getting a different sort of attention. People that didn't know me, but saw me interact with others and on my own, saw me as arrogant. Every person - without fail, *every* person - that has known me, has either sounded surprised by that, or originally thought that way and confided that they were surprised to find the exact opposite. I know myself (Lord, I've put enough energy into figuring it out) and I'm not afraid to show who I am. One of the things I struggled with growing up was how to maintain humility without hiding. My dad is the most humble person I know, and perhaps because of that, most people have no idea of the things he's done. Incredible, ridicullously amazing stuff! (I'll leave out the bragging for now, but I'm telling you, research Delta Force if you want an idea.) So, does being humble mean letting none know what you can do? Hell no! How many of you can identify with this: you do something unique to you, that many people cannot, and someone out there yells/mutters/otherwise vocalizes, "Show-off." Show-off? Well, yeah. That's - what - you - do. Is a sports player "showing off" when s/he plays, or a scientist when s/he discovers something? Does anyone see a traveling minstrel, hear his song, and call out, "Show-off!" I think not. I still have some confusion around this term, because it obviously has a negative connotation, but the words alone don't hold any negative content at all. Boasting, bragging, show-boating, and flaunting are clearly negative. But there's a difference.
Boasting exaggerates ones ability with excessive pride.
Bragging is simply using boastful language.
Show-boating is behaving ostentatiously for attention. Okay, I do do that on occasion, but I get shy if I have to initiate conversation, so I hope that if I *attract* attention, someone else will speak first.
Flaunting is parading yourself boldly, even defiantly, and sometimes conspicuously, usually in an attempt to hold your accomplishments over another.
Back on the show-boating aspect, let me point this out: I usually abstain from doing what I feel like doing because I worry that it'll be seen as attention-seeking or "showing-off." Sometimes I just want to exercise, just because I like how it feels. But, if I drop into a few push-ups for the hell of it, or worse yet, handstand push-ups, I get people either rolling their eyes, scoffing at me (as if I'm doing it to say - look, I bet you can't do this!), or asking, with a genuinely puzzled expression, "Why are you doing that?"

To those that scoff, or that actually say (and I have heard this) "Oh, are you proud that you can do that and we can't?" I feel like responding, "My, what an ego you have. You really think I care enough about you, who I don't even know, to do this as a way to attack you? Trust me, you do NOT have that much weight in my life." But hey, I'm not that mean. Most times. I shrug, walk away, and walk on my hands somewhere else.

Those of you that feel bewildered as to why I'm going on and on, perhaps you have enough self-confidence to worry about others doing what they do. Sunday, I had someone in my booth approach me to tell me what he or she had heard (hearsay at this point, but hearsay affects people nonetheless) from another. Something to the effect of "that guy is so into himself. He should watch himself and not care so much about his body." But the funny part is, is that (so I'm told) it was said in an attempt to "help" me. A kind way to take me off my path of self-indulgence and this zenith of pride that I have reached. Right.

I started writing with the last paragraph in mind, and it took me this long to get down to it. I can be a bit verbose, especially in writing, when no one is around to stop me, and ESPECIALLY in text, where I can type faster than I can speak. The most amazing and loving guru I had had this to share with me,
"You cannot truly love another until you can love yourself."
Ever tried to love yourself? I've met people that've had no problem with that at all. I straight up balked at that concept at first. 'WTF?' I thought, 'Why do I need to love myself. Forget that.' I managed to get to that point. But it was (and still is) *very* difficult.

Alright, I'm done. Since I've gone this far, though, I'll throw some more miscellaneous timeline facts about me. But this is it, you really don't need to read anymore. Thank you for giving me your attention in this medium.

June 3, 1984 - Born in Vicenza, Italy
May/June, 1985 - Moved to America
1989 - Montessori school in California
1990-96 - Grades 1 through 6 in Georgia
1996-7 - 7th grade in California, 96% NON-white population; racism against whites? yup, it exists
1997-9 - 8th and 9th in Georgia
1999-2000 - 10th in Washington
September 2000 - Started Clark College
June 2002 - Received High School Diploma, sat in the stands to watch my step-brother receive his, but I wasn't an official student, so I didn't do the walk
late June 2002 - lost virginity (that's right, I was 18)
August 2002 - Received Clark College Diploma (they have their actual graduations in June, and I needed two more classes, which I finished in the summer, so I didn't do that graduation thing, either)
Damn, there's a lot of other "important" things that've happened, but I'm done with this list. I don't think I should blog anymore. This didn't work out to be nearly the quick post of thoughts I'd expected.
Hm, well. ... Yeah, I'm done.

End.

Fliptastic

Alright, it seems that some of you may have questions. Well, when they regard me, I'll be your personal RadioShack (you got questions, I've got answers). A short road to an electronic joke, hopefully someone out there smiled.

[insert warning here] I just realized that I've been writing for a while. Feel free to read the opening, but don't continue unless you actually *want* to know more about me.

Ok, basic timeline of when I started doing ... what I do.

December 23, 2004 - First backflip (spotted)
January, 2005 - First solo backflip
January 17, 2005 - Began Massage Therapy School
February, 2005 - First aerial
February, 2005 - Began training (albeit extremely off and on, with several months of not going at all last year) in Capoeria
March, 2005 - First back handspring
March, 2005 - Met my breakdance instructor, started off and on training
April, 2005 - First round-off to back flip
August, 2005 - First treeflip (just in time for first faire!)
September, 2005 - First Faire, attending or working
Oct/Nov, 2005 - Began training with AirAligned, aerialist dance group
January, 2006 - Began co-teaching break dance with my instructor
March, 2006 - First onstage dance performance
July, 206 - Began taking dance classes (Jazz)
August, 2006 - First onstage aerial dance performance
August, 2006 - Began teaching break dance on my own

There seems to be a lot of surprise to learn that I haven't been doing these things for very long. I did take gymnastics for a few months when I was 12. However, my fascination was not nearly sufficient to make up for my weaknesses. I couldn't do a single pull-up on my own until I was about 16. Highly self-conscious, I mostly tried to hide myself (and my less than attractive body) in my room.
I played no sports growing up. I did start skateboarding when I was 13, but it took me about a year to learn to ollie (the BASIC trick of skating), and the learning curve didn't much improve from there. I grew up in Georgia (though I refused to adopt the culture, language, or accent) from about age 6 to 15, and climbed trees daily. This was about the only exercise I had in my childhood. The first time I actually ran an entire mile was in In-Processing for the Army (pre-Basic Training). I ran it in about 8:17, and promptly cried out, "Yes! I made it 20 seconds ahead of the bare minimum time!" I was tired, too. Oh, and the 13 push-ups required by males to progress to Basic Training? Yeah, that was my limit. I quivered and struggled on that last one, let me tell you.

Okay, I imagine a few (if not many) readers must be wondering where I'm going with this. Uh, I haven't been physically active in any way. I was always chubby, until about 17, when I upgraded to "soft." Or so my dad said. Anyway, even when I got out of the army, I was far from the shape I'm in now.

...

Oh, haha! Sucks to be any of you reading this far. I just got notified that the wireless internet place I'm at is kicking me out. Guess I'll have to finish this tomorrow.