To my family,

Reflecting back over the last 8 months I have moved through some of life’s greatest challenges, but I find by self grateful and blessed. Yes, things were hard, and continue to be, but my life as been enriched through this. I realized at some point that there was no use in wallowing in my perceived misfortune, my sense of loss. I asked myself how do I find happiness amidst this? What hurts? I wanted more than anything to have a family with Otto and grow with him, but the intelligence of spirit directed me to look back on how I came to enter into this man’s life and why. I had to acknowledge that there were markers on the road that let me know where I was going and signs telling me I needed to stay present, to enjoy every moment of it. My self became separated, into my soul path and my ego path. This I give thanks for! It has allowed me peace……

Over the past two months, I had to ask myself what I could do that would support my self to support Otto. I had to find true self Love and through this I found the greatest love I have ever known in Otto. I had to be gentle with myself and also to know when to pick myself up and move on even though I felt as if my heart weighed a ton. I proved that we all have great capacity if we take it one step at a time, are gentle with each other, and keep our eyes lifted to the horizon! Otto has been my teacher and continues to still be my teacher. He has taught me to listen and to trust in my knowing and to take every opportunity to cultivate it! He has taught me that there are great teachers that are unseen and great teachers in each other yet to be found. I have also learned that sometimes there is only one road left to travel down. The path becomes clear and you have to step forward out of your perceived fear and trust that there is always beauty on the other side. Be grateful, I am! I have been delivered into an amazing community, that without, my journey wouldn’t have been possible.

As I get back to my everyday things I find myself wanting to share with everyone I come across what we collectively have experienced through Otto’s passing. The opportunity to be so deeply touched by the universe doesn’t come that often. I give thanks to all of my experiences and I leave you with two of my favorite quotes:

“When a total commitment to growing is always with you, then all the events that arise in your life are instantly transformed into a great blessing.” Swami Chetanananda, The Breath of God.

Shine On

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of (the universe). Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. You were born to make manifest the glory of (source) that is within you. It’s not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”. Marianne Williamson/Nelson Mandela

As Otto would say, “Well done!”.