i just got officially diagnosed as having ADD.

They are going to put me on meds. I am curious about it.

I am not sure what i think about it all. Being told what you have always just considered your personality, is a disorder.

THings have been really hard lately though, so if there were some clarity of thought that could be gained with meds i am willing to try it. It will be an interesting experiment. The man who is always dealing with my lack of order, lost items, and general "abstract random" lifestyle is hoping that it will be helpful. He sees me getting more and more overwhelmed.

I joked with the psychiatrist that i actually felt i was doing very well given the circumstances. The only way i could do better would be with a life transplant. I love my family, so that is not an option. I actually tried that one before. I didnt like me life, and wanted a do-over, and did. I learned that is not a good option.

The joke was i did not think there was any magic pill that would make me better. I know this wont be a magic pill, but i am curious what the results will be, if anything. I am not a candidate for Riddalin. I have no tolerence for stimulants, they make me very aggitated, so i have to take something else. No coffee, no pop, very little chocolate for that reason. I wake up every morning an hour before the alarm. I am stimulated enough I guess.

They have to get special permission to order it for me. I can't remember what "it" was.

I always like a good adventure. I am looking forward to see what the result of this experiment will be.

looking for a used cell phone to buy

ATT local (anchorage)

for the teen destroyer of phones. She has gone without for a few weeks now, but it is getting problematic for us. We dont need or want anything fancy.

My budget is $50 maximum.

... I have jury duty. I have been summoned. I have been totally failing at dealing with it appropriately. I have been late in responding. I am so stressed and overwhelmed with everything going on that it has just about paralyzed me. It is like i am in total denial. i should be able to get a deferral. I just need to remember to call tomorrow. I really need to remember to do that.

I need to remember to make a doc appointment for the teen. I need to get shots for the baby at the free clinic. It is normally everythird Saturday. I keep forgetting it. This month that is the holiday weekend. Do we think they will cancel it?

My counselor has told me to spend more time for myself. So i have been doing jewelry. Pretty cool stuff too, if i have to say so myself. The funniest thing is that when i show people what i am doing, they ask first, "You really made this?" Then they ask, "when do you have time to do this?" Because they know what my life is like right now. I am not joking when i say it is funny. It really is.

I took the baby out of daycare on Monday with nowhere to put her. She went to work with me the last 2 days while i have scrambled to find emergency daycare. I have been very fortunate that all my patients and co-workers have been relatively understanding. Oddly the baby was on her best behavior. I finally got a place for her this afternoon. It costs double what i was paying, but i should not have to worry about her safety here.

Last time Micahel picked her up she had the same diaper on as when we had dropped her off. She had started talking about Killing people, breaking our necks. All sorts of very inappropriate things. She was throwing violent fits everyday trying to not have to go there. SHe used to like it, but things were changing. The owners were divorcing and everything fell apart. Scary stuff a happening.

Tomorrow i meet with a mental health professional (for me) and then take the teen to a orthodontist appointment- If she has a clean UA. That is if i can find a pee test tomorrow. They carry them in all the stores now, but everywhere is sold out. That is funny too. So i have to decide what to do if we cant do the test, and what to do if/ when she fails. She is at a respite home tonight. she calls it her " foster Family".

Michael is upstairs sick today. I had it last Monday Tuesday, and it took the whole week to make it around to him. It hit every single one of us inthe house, all 6 of us Monday to Tuesday. I am still nauseaus here and there, but not sick any more. Just a tummy bug for most of us. THe teen had a fever too.

She is failing most of her classes again. She is trying very hard. SHe just does not know how to deal with the stress but to make us all the enemy. She is refusing counseling again, because she is mad at the counselors for being honest about what their concerns are. It sucks to be 16.

Work is going good, my boss is out of town, and i have more work than i want. I am trying not to be overwhelmed there. I am doing some good work, I may have found a niche in treating lymphedema patients.

There is so much more "TMI" i could keep going on about, but this has been a good purge.

So much stuff i could not share on FB.

Not that it was fun for any of you to read it.
I just needed to let some of it out.

whew

I really am bummed every time i read about tribe being dead. Yes i am on facebook. yes i have an active account, but it is too public. My family is there , I have coworkers there, i have patients there.

I need to stay polite, i need to stay PC. I cant get all pissy and whiny. Not that i need to live in a pissy and whiny Universe, it is just that i need to go there some times.

OK, we need more than that. That would sort of be a drag. How about a little inappropriate banter. Naughty jokes??

I am still popping in. I dont post a ton, but a little, i read all the tribes that i am in. It adds a little flavor to my life. Facebook is utilitarian, but not a lotta flavor.

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