Dear Kitty Kat,
I've seen some of the posts and there is some good advice and plenty of interest in helping.
Shamanism isn't necessarily what we might think. True shamanism isn't really a "way". Shamanism as subject of interest and study is one thing. There are many traditions, and many translations, ideas and believes as to what a shaman is. A shaman in the truest sense isn't necessarily a healer, but more of a position of service. A shaman is a being who has one foot on this world, and the other on another (world). A shaman is a Man of Knowledge. In the Toltec tradition, he is called a Nagual, a Shape Shifter. In other American Indian traditions he is called a Medicine Man, which doesn't necessarily mean or refer to some one who heals physical afflictions or injuries. On the other hand, a shaman, being a Man of Knowledge, does hold sacred and powerful knowledge, some of which can be used for healing -- again, not necessarily making him a healer.
What comes to my mind is that shamanism isn't a way in the sense of a path to take on. Sometimes it would seem that a true shaman is born to be. Like we are all here to do our true Will. The difference between embracing shamanism and being a shaman might just be very similar to that of being a true practitioner of Christianity, being a disciple (like one of the twelve), being Jesus Himself, and Christ. Where Jesus would be, in this analogy, a true shaman, the disciples just that: disciples, and the practitioners...well, most of us.
Also know, as you all might already, that there is hidden knowledge, and "knowledge" that is fake but flavored out there.
Just like some have here said (some of which, in principle and in theory I tend to agree), our true path is not going to be given to us. It is for us to find. It is not in books, in websites, in workshops, in groups, nor in gurus. It is your alone. But, there are places in our path that are not so clear, and there are always the guides.
The guides can, might, and do come in the forms of books, rocks, animals, people, the drunk and the old, the little, in dreams, in nightmares, in websites, etc.
I have found for myself that my search is not for powers, for peace and love (that's everywhere!)...my path is not (anymore) colored with words such as shamanism, enlightenment, awakening to the Truth (that, too, happens often to most of us, the searchers, the dreamers, the walkers....even if only as often as once in a lifetime). My path has lead me somewhere unexpected for the time being.
I have met such Men of Knowledge. There's at least two residing in Grass Valle. The one that is closest to me is of course Koyote, of which I write in my posts. He is presently residing Riverside, as a host to the Tequihua Foundation.
What I've found out is that my path is working on self. It is a transformation, call it what you will, we have a thousand names for such an idea. Learning my True Self, my Essential Self, my body of habits, my ego, my hundreds of manifestations, and working with and embracing all that can be called me is still a work in progress.
In the traditions that work with the idea that human beings are not complete, that we do not have a soul, but an essential self, with the potential for a soul (in which your life work then, in part if not wholly, is dedicated to attaining the necessary knowledge for the use of the tools given to us for the completion of our Soul), you would be considered some one who is searching, unconsciously or not, perhaps instinctively, for your Self...your True Self.
In service,
Bruto