I'm sure I've written about Bobby Womack before. Other than Al Green, I think he may very well be my second favorite artist. His voice soothes and caresses my weary lonely soul. And the lyrics reassure me that everything will be alright - after while.

I lost my father when I was only six but the love he gave me up to that point was so much that I think it is what has sustained me all these years. It is also the reason I think I find that I'm more attracted to 'older' men. I like the emotional security and protectiveness that they can sometimes provide. I know its not very 'independent' or 'forward' thinking, but most times - especially at night - I just want to be taken care of.

When Bobby sings:

"Girl, you're welcome stop on by
You kow i'll be here baby to dry your eyes
But i'm getting tired of being that second guy
Dont ya be no fool baby you're bout to loose your old stand by..."

I find myself wishing someone were singing this to me because for a man who could dry my eyes and make me feel welcome, I'd run to him, hold him tight and never let go.

Problem is, most people who are capable of drying my eyes and even making me feel welcome - can only provide temporary relief for whatever reason.

I get so frustrated with people/things that are destined to go 'nowhere' and are after all only 'band-aids'.

I keep asking myself why I settle for less and put up with so much more than I should. The answer is always the same. The price to pay for a small measure of good is always too much. That's just the way it is.

When more unhappy time has passed than happy time, settling is just what happens I guess. Its like being hungry for a long time, finally getting food and gobbling it up entirely too fastly and later having a stomach ache and wishing you'd took the time to savor and to save some for another time.

When too much time passes between needs, savoring is an afterthough. Desire, like hunger pangs, sometimes just wont wait around for good judgement, sound reason or sensibility. As usual, the thing that screams the loudest is usually the thing that gets the most attention.

Lately, I'm no longer able to calm or supress the desires that I've pushed aside for years. Its only a matter of time before I give into them. I pray good judgement, sound reason and sinsibility follow me where ever I land.

As the time to feed quickly approaches, I await the welcome sign --- when I see it, I do plan to stop on by ...