ramble

Every now and again I blog. Often I'm inspired by Mrs. Random. I love the way she journals her life. It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who goes through personal struggles like when to weed and how thoroughly. She also makes it feel so much more civilized. I always step away from those self consultations feeling a little bit crazy and embarrassed at how much I probably actually spoke to myself in quiet little whispers as I determine exactly how I'm going to attempt to harness nature this time.

I've been overworked. I brought it on myself and I love most of the work I'm doing so I can't really complain. Today being Sunday, I'm trying to take it easy. Thus the blogging. I have a pile of projects happening all at once with a Mercury retrograde approaching so I feel like I should get a solid start on each and every one before all productivity comes to some screeching halt or another. In addition to 2 part time jobs working with people with autism, I'm sewing a women's skirt suit from scratch (skirt finished, jacket half finished), designing and making an alligator for my friend's film (prototype complete, now I have to make the contracted gator-I love this!) , re-covering 2 bar stools in trade to my dance teacher, and finishing design and construction of a line of 12 outfits for a fashion show coming up mid may. I'm also making a sock puppet remake of Beetlejuice with one of my clients. I'm starting to take piano lessons from my boyfriend. He wants to start teaching so I get to be his first guinea pig (whee! whee!) I take dance once a week, try to work out 3 more times during the week. Recently I've gone back to tracking my food intake in terms of calories, fat etc. to see where I'm failing myself. I can't fit into my clothes anymore. It's depressing, especially with summer around the corner. so I'm cutting back, or so I think, but I now realize how much more fat I am consuming than is optimal for my health and pants size. oops. Nothin' like a little butter to make everything taste a whole lot better! So much for that.

It's been like this, in one way or another, for months. I let my vanity go temporarily. I got tired of having damaged hair so i stopped keeping it some shade of pink or another. Now it's grown out into a non-style shades of salt and pepper starts. I've been partially jobless so I haven't done much clothes shopping. And now I'm coming up on a fashion show and looking at my self in the mirror, looking at my closet full of no's and knowing without a doubt it's time to bust out the glamour. I cut my own hair a little over a week ago but I just don't have the same narcissistic patience I used to have for that sort of thing. From now on I'm going back to David. Even if I'm broke I can sew something for him. He loves that. I can't be responsible with a pair of scissors on the back of my head. I just start chopping.

So when i do blog it's decompression from all the stuff I'm trying to take a break from being overwhelmed by. That's fine. Maybe I'll even wax poetic. I used to do that so much when I was in my 20's. I've gotten to be so linear. Well, as linear as a crazy aquarian artist can be.

It's the Taurus rising that gets me.
Sometimes for the best.
And sometimes it's the Taurus rising that gets got.

Taurus slowly stamps and snorts it's way
to the water bearer.
The bull scrapes the ground next to the well.
The water bearer looks down from the clouds
to see this powerful bull.
Bull snorts, gestures with his head to the fields.
They need weeding and fertilizing.
Aquarius sees only the flowers.
She begins to think she and the bull are really beginning to
connect and starts walking toward the field with the bull beside her.
When they arrive Aquarius plops down in the row of blossoming squashes
singing gospel toward the forest
Eyes lit, body swaying.
Bull knows he'll have to wait until the song is done.
This much has been learned.

ATTENTION!! NJZ in effect!!

Check this out

kcimprov.com/missions/01.php

Snow!

Yay! I love waking up to a surprise of piles and piles of white ice fluff! I'm housesitting for one extra night because of it. My friend has showtime so now I'm addicted to "weeds". I love that show. Soccor mom gone gangsta! Fascinating. This is why I'm not allowed a very long leash. No cable. No liquor cabinet. Only occasional ice cream. White drugs just for special occasions.

Mrs. Random's Cookin'

I love Mrs. Random's cooking. Of course I do. Only a breatharian might question it. And I suspect Mrs Random could make even air gourmet.
Especially when she makes me special wheat and meat free meals!

Sleep Talking

I haven't blogged lately, but I want to process this event. I woke this morning to get ready for work and send my love off to work. I'm going about my normal routine when he asks me if I remember what I said to him last night. I had no idea what he was talking about. He described to me an incident that is beyond embarrassing, and I'm curious what I have to clear up with my psychology. Apparantly, He told me he didn't have any blankets and I told him to "stop complaining", At this he tugged on the blankets to which I responded "You are SO irritating!" When he spoke about this I told him to "Shut up and go to sleep"

He was up most the night trying to stop fuming, deciding whether or not he wanted to get out of bed and ride his bike back home. I don't remember any of this and I'm disturbed by it. For one thing, this is the kind of thing my parents would say both to each other and to all of us, their children. Also, I have been facing my tendency to easily slip into pessimism and anger. Maybe these things are surfacing as a result of my attention. I'm glad to work it out, but I would prefer my subconscious not take it out on my most intimate friend.

Announcement of Introversion

About this time every year I retreat like danglers in the cold. I often feel a lot of guilt when my friends yowl and cuss at me for extracting myself from our active social scene. I have a very high ratio of introvert, however, and I must rest my soul.

I would like to make all the yowlers both loud and silent aware that my retreat is not personal toward any person. Retreating allows me to be better company when I do venture out. It's a good thing.

This weekend I get a little get-away. I'm a housesitter. I love these times when I can eat, surf the web, read, catch up on some of the weird music that's out there, get inspired to write my own stuff, watch cable, lay around, catch up on my laundry...I love this more than partying sometimes. I know that's difficult for some to comprehend.

Right now I'm finally checking out "RadioNOT" one of Mr Random's many creative projects. It is chaotic and inspiring. Today I record!

It has been awhile...

Yes, it has. I'm in full force autumn with all directional forces driving inward. Oh, yeah, I can stay home and delight in my own company. Right on. I'm busy with plenty of inspiration and challenges. I have no idea what's going on right now. I'm looking into it...

New York, New York-It's Everything They Say

I'm in upstate NY visiting my family this week and part of the next. I spent the last 2 days planning and executing a Birthday party for my 5 year old niece with my mom and 2 sisters. Wow! My sister doesn't mess around when it comes to her children's parties. Last year she rented a pony. This year it was everything bubbles. Gobs of little children running around covered in suds and bubbles in the sunlight. Very cute and very exhausting.

My nephew's band-The Sage, Tyler, and Hunter Band-played. They're between 6 and 8 years old, this band! They have keys and 2 guitars. My brother-in-law is a musician, so his kids have ample rockstar encouragement and gear! I'm jealous!

It's nice to see children so loved and supported. I give my sister a bit of flack for being a pushover, but the bottom line to raising kids is love and they have that in bucket loads.

To toot my own horn I must brag that I put a 20 x 30 foot big top of a tent up this morning. I drove 14 giant steel stakes into the ground with a busted sledge hammer. I got 3 corners of it up when help arrived. Sistah Kem brought an unbroken sledge and the neighbor boy volunteered his brain and brawn. The help made it a lot easier!

I haven't run into Huey Lewis yet.

Rock!

I saw the hottest rock show I've seen in a long time this last Friday 6/1. It was The Filthiest People Alive www.myspace.com/thefilthiestpeoplealive ,The Decliners www.myspace.com/thedecliners ,and The CoStars www.myspace.com/thecostars . Check them out. It was the rocking I've needed for a long time ( I haven't gotten out much lately!)

It was so inspiring that I want to dedicate my radio show (Fri. 4-5 PM KWVA 88.1 @ kwvaradio.org) to absolute rocking. I'll play Clutch, Kyuss, Sabbath, Fu Manchu, maybe some industrial stuff like KMFDM, perhaps even some Alice Cooper. The challenge is finding songs that don't have swearing in the lyrics. I'd love some suggestions.

Gotta get back to the little people!

love,
lelu

Delight!

My best friend from high school flew into Portland from Minneapolis today. She's driving her rental car here as I type. So exciting! Her boyfriend recently became a flight attendant so she gets to fly stand by for free. I'm so jealous!

I must give public props to Mr. and Mrs. Random. Those two are a pair of the finest friends a person could have. I stopped by to pick up some things I left behind at the last LaunchPad swarm (i.e. band practice) and before long I was happily altered and invited to a fabulous grilled veggie dinner with fresh strawberries and chocolate for dessert! Too wonderful, yes it must be just too much goodness for a Wednesday...or is it? I think I can take it. I haven't laughed so much in awhile...except for last night at Trash Talkin' Thursday...oh my,
we decided to try a new pasttime, dirty hangman. We filled the backs of two children's placemats from every angle with all sorts of debaucherous semantics.

Once again I would like to mention how grateful I am for the incredible people in my life. They're the best and I love them.