Every now and again I blog. Often I'm inspired by Mrs. Random. I love the way she journals her life. It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who goes through personal struggles like when to weed and how thoroughly. She also makes it feel so much more civilized. I always step away from those self consultations feeling a little bit crazy and embarrassed at how much I probably actually spoke to myself in quiet little whispers as I determine exactly how I'm going to attempt to harness nature this time.

I've been overworked. I brought it on myself and I love most of the work I'm doing so I can't really complain. Today being Sunday, I'm trying to take it easy. Thus the blogging. I have a pile of projects happening all at once with a Mercury retrograde approaching so I feel like I should get a solid start on each and every one before all productivity comes to some screeching halt or another. In addition to 2 part time jobs working with people with autism, I'm sewing a women's skirt suit from scratch (skirt finished, jacket half finished), designing and making an alligator for my friend's film (prototype complete, now I have to make the contracted gator-I love this!) , re-covering 2 bar stools in trade to my dance teacher, and finishing design and construction of a line of 12 outfits for a fashion show coming up mid may. I'm also making a sock puppet remake of Beetlejuice with one of my clients. I'm starting to take piano lessons from my boyfriend. He wants to start teaching so I get to be his first guinea pig (whee! whee!) I take dance once a week, try to work out 3 more times during the week. Recently I've gone back to tracking my food intake in terms of calories, fat etc. to see where I'm failing myself. I can't fit into my clothes anymore. It's depressing, especially with summer around the corner. so I'm cutting back, or so I think, but I now realize how much more fat I am consuming than is optimal for my health and pants size. oops. Nothin' like a little butter to make everything taste a whole lot better! So much for that.

It's been like this, in one way or another, for months. I let my vanity go temporarily. I got tired of having damaged hair so i stopped keeping it some shade of pink or another. Now it's grown out into a non-style shades of salt and pepper starts. I've been partially jobless so I haven't done much clothes shopping. And now I'm coming up on a fashion show and looking at my self in the mirror, looking at my closet full of no's and knowing without a doubt it's time to bust out the glamour. I cut my own hair a little over a week ago but I just don't have the same narcissistic patience I used to have for that sort of thing. From now on I'm going back to David. Even if I'm broke I can sew something for him. He loves that. I can't be responsible with a pair of scissors on the back of my head. I just start chopping.

So when i do blog it's decompression from all the stuff I'm trying to take a break from being overwhelmed by. That's fine. Maybe I'll even wax poetic. I used to do that so much when I was in my 20's. I've gotten to be so linear. Well, as linear as a crazy aquarian artist can be.

It's the Taurus rising that gets me.
Sometimes for the best.
And sometimes it's the Taurus rising that gets got.

Taurus slowly stamps and snorts it's way
to the water bearer.
The bull scrapes the ground next to the well.
The water bearer looks down from the clouds
to see this powerful bull.
Bull snorts, gestures with his head to the fields.
They need weeding and fertilizing.
Aquarius sees only the flowers.
She begins to think she and the bull are really beginning to
connect and starts walking toward the field with the bull beside her.
When they arrive Aquarius plops down in the row of blossoming squashes
singing gospel toward the forest
Eyes lit, body swaying.
Bull knows he'll have to wait until the song is done.
This much has been learned.