Ok! So a week before last we had an earthquake! The weather lately has been really crazy! 80's one day then three days later freezing! Now, today we have gone from light rain to hail to thunder storms and are expecting SNOW this evening!!!!!!About 1-6 inches!!!! The wheather guys are even talking Thunder Snow!!!!! Have you ever heard of such a thing???????
Ahhhhhh, gotta love SPRING TIME in OKLAHOMA!!!!!! Crazy!!!!

So I have been thinking lately about what real really is. Is it the absolute truth? Truth is usually in the eye of the beholder though! So what is true and what is real? I have been thinking about this so much lately because well...I just have the time. I have been reading and thinking on what my purpose here on this earth is and how I can learn more about myself. I have been thinking about my past to try to analize how I work, think and do things. Some things that have come up aren't too pretty but are a part of my past that I learned from. The saddest part of thinking about this stuff is I can see where my happy basic nature has been pushed down as a defensive posture. I also can see how I have created a tough outside or "geeky" outside to protect myself from hurt. I can see where I have let myself be dependent on others only to be let down over and over and somehow not learning from it. I have seen how I gave up on certain relationships because they drained me or used me up. I can also see how much more independent I have become but some of it is not in a good way. So I thought that maybe I was just not seeing certain things, that maybe I didn't see the whole picture. How could I, being the age I am, not see the whole picture? Or is this something I just never learned? I guess my logic is that the relaxed real me sees the world in a positive nature, still. I guess what is real or true is what is real or true to you. What you love or what you are positive with, what you think is right. So have I found out what my purpose is yet? No. Still working on it. Do I know what is real yet? No, other than love. This also may take all my life...and ya know...I'm Ok about that.
Rattling on.