my contemplations

Looking for help :) GreenCheck

DonnieMarie — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:39:24 GMT

Hey lovelies. Working on a project right now to help jump start my friends non-profit foundation. I'm looking for multiple businesses that are running in a more sustainable and efficient manner. I guess we could label it as "green" businesses. There is a lot out there but we are ultimately looking to support smaller local community operations. If you have any leads or want to add yours or a friends business to our online directory, please contact me. This is a free service with the intention of building community around eco-friendly businesses in hopes to create a greater awareness of conscious living. Peace.

NANP Conference

DonnieMarie — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:48:16 GMT

This past weekend I was blessed enough to have an opportunity to attend the National Association of Nutrition Professionals (NANP) yearly conference. This non-profit organization is dedicated to enhancing the integrity of the holistic nutrition profession through self-governance, educational standards, a rigorous code of ethics and professional registration of holistic nutritionists. Many of the speakers lead excellent lectures packed full of fantastic information. I found myself fully engaged through out the entire conference astonished by how far our society as a whole has progressed with nutritional knowledge. Topics ranging from functional medicine to children’s health, to curing diabetes through whole foods and addressing depression and anxiety from a more holistic standpoint, were among my favorite discussions. There was one speaker in particular that moved me deeply. His talk was all about creating change within each of our communities by getting involved with local events, either by starting something new or joining an ongoing activity. His message was that no matter how small our actions may seem, everything we do matters and has an effect globally. Everything and everyone is connected. We are all responsible for creating a positive influence in our communities. The conference left me inspired to begin working on a project within my community that would help to raise awareness on the importance of eating a healthy whole food diet. What better place to begin then with children? So I’ve decided to start an after school cooking class once a week for children ages 6 to 12. I have a fondness for the little ones and love to teach, cook, and play! The class will run for five weeks. There are seven children enrolled for the first round. I would love to have more but for now the classes will be held in our kitchen, which is not very large. Ultimately, I would love to get some sort of program started through the school systems, which would help with funding and offer a larger kitchen space. I believe this will take a little time before I can pick up funding. I’m in no hurry. Meeting with the kids from our community weekly will do for now. It will be a great test run for something larger to happen in the future. Children are like little sponges, soaking up all the information that we will share. Teaching them to eat well, sharing the joy of cooking, being present with them is a great gift for all involved. We are scheduled to begin the third week in November. I will keep y’all posted on our great cooking adventures!

Making a difference in the world one day at a time. Approaching each action with a present mind

DonnieMarie — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:44:00 GMT

Life is beautiful. No question about that. But life is also full of terrifying and depressing circumstances. With the constant reminders of environmental and economic devastation knocking at our door, it can be difficult to feel like there is an even slight possibility of creating change. Witnessing the turmoil that our environment endures has left me, at times, feeling heavy and hopeless. The "big picture" can be foggy and feel far out of reach. It's hard to see how simple daily acts such as monitoring energy use in a household, limiting gas consumption or recycling can have a positive impact. But it does. The key to creating unified Earth-friendly sustainable communities on a global level is to start small, begin locally, and be present with everything you do. Keep in mind that silence solves nothing, it never has, and it never will. Our silence will encourage more environmental destruction, violence and corruption at all levels, all over the world. Doing nothing and avoiding the obvious creates more of an imbalance. It is our civic duty and moral obligation to get involved, never be silent, and to solve our many problems. We can begin first by creating change within ourselves. Making a consistent effort to be a more compassionate being will have a large effect on everything, and everyone, we come in contact with. If we are embodying that of a positive attitude, we can share our ideas, hopes, dreams and happy vibes with others who will help to support and actualize our visions. Next, we must believe that no matter how small a random act of kindness seems, it has a tremendous effect all-around, especially when the acts pertain to environmental causes. For example, picking up garbage lying in the street or while hiking or biking bringing a bag (reusable preferably) to pick up garbage or recyclables. If you see a leaky faucet in a public restroom, turn it off to conserve water and report it to the proper authorities. Use scrap paper to create notepads and give them out to people. If you are in a public place reading a magazine or newspaper, offer it to someone once you have finished reading it. Buy reusable bags and remember to bring them with you to the store to place your items inside. Use fabrics to wrap gifts or reusable bags. Report polluters to the proper authorities. Always REDUCE / REUSE / RECYCLE. "No act of kindness no matter how small, is ever wasted." - Aesop Beginning change locally will have positive effects globally. Everything is connected; there is no question about that. Creating change within your community is an excellent place to start. Small grassroots efforts such as an organized local river clean up can create a measurable impact on a global scale. If five hundred communities organized a river clean up in their area in the same month, there would be a massive decrease of toxicity of our drinking waters and less pollution would enter our Lakes and Oceans. Creating a composting system either individually or communally is an excellent measure to take. Environmentally, the use of compost has been shown to remediate, or clean up, contaminated soils by reducing toxic runoffs, binding certain toxins that might otherwise escape, and it prevents erosion when used near roadways, lakes, rivers, and streams. In addition to the biological, chemical, and environmental benefits of compost, the use of compost creates economic benefits. Using compost reduces the amount of fertilizer, water, and pesticides needed to produce healthy plants, and it is cheaper than artificial soils. Composting is a fairly simple procedure and it is fun to do! These are just a few simple but effective ideas to help you get out of that "earth is going to end" hopeless kind of funk that's impossible to not feel occasionally. There are many people out there making differences every day. There are others that hold a similar vision, one of a conscious, peaceful, harmonious and sustainable way of being for all life on this planet When we connect our visions, our hearts, our energy, we are quite powerful. We are one. We are never alone. We are in this together. Never forget that….

Eclipse Festival

DonnieMarie — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 03:13:21 GMT

Montreal is a sweet city...very laid back....it would help to know French as there is not much written or even translated in English. However, most people here do speak the language...I was told there is a law that does not allow businesses to give themselves an English name or title. The ideal is to preserve the provinces roots by keeping the French language and culture rich and alive. I have found people to be very lovely and kind. I only wish I could understand better what the hell I was ordering in the cafes. Ahhh but a pale ale is a pale ale no matter where you go! My main purpose for this adventure is to travel out to the Eclipse festival which is located about 4 hours from Montreal. I will be helping Katia, Joe and Nicole do deco for one of the stages. We are staying with a super sweet lady who is behind creating this lovely event. She is one of the most hospitable people I've ever stayed with. Very kind. I am looking so forward to the gathering as I am finally feeling almost back to normal since the accident. Each day I feel grateful for the simple act of walking on my own. Finding my way up in the beautifully lush green lands of Canada is a blessing. I am ready to dance my ass off and connect with the gifts that this adventure has to offer :)

I kicked the Boot to the curb this past weekend! :):)

DonnieMarie — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:02:18 GMT

Just wanted to share the most exciting news with yall; I am officially walking in gym shoes! And not any regular kind of gym shoes. These are special shoes where an IPOD can fit in the bottom of the soles and count how many steps I am taking a day. Nifty! Not really why I bought them though. They give a ton of support, are easy to slip on and look really cool. But really folks, I'm just super stoked that I am walking again, sometimes with my handy dandy cane, and sometimes not. Either way, it feels so good to be on my own two feet! To feel like I can get around a little easier. To feel strong and healthy again. Life is a blessing! I will never take the simple act of walking for granted again.....

What a beautiful night! What a beautiful community!!

DonnieMarie — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:30:56 GMT

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 Sometimes it can be hard to put magical moments, magical feelings, deep gratitude into words....I've had to sit with my feelings for a day before sharing my thoughts...so here's where I'm at: Gratitude over filling my heart, flooding into a puddle of healing vibes continuously surrounding my being..mmmmmmm loving all of you so very much, with all my heart, with my soul, my spirit, grateful to be part of our colorful scene. Feeling so very blessed for our family, our unity, our way to come together in harder times and support one another. Thank you to everyone who made an effort to attend the benefit held on Friday. We rocked it! I had an amazing time. So many wonderful moments. Old friends, new friends, happy people, great dancers, yummy food, fantastic music. Yes, every set of whirling twirling groovy tunes rocked the place. I was in heaven! Truly! A happy butterfly on cloud nine enjoying the scene of smiling faces and warm loving vibes. I have learned so much in these past weeks. A huge lesson for me has been learning how to be open and receive. How to comfortably ask for what I need. How to be vulnerable. Life has an interesting way of teaching us lessons and showing us our gifts. I have had a great opportunity to sit and think, sit and be quiet, sit and reflect. It is a time of growth, transformation and learning to accept what is. Learning to roll with life, to let go of how I thought things were suppose to be, to stop fighting against the current and learn to relax in the direction that I am so gently being pulled...... Most of all, these few weeks have opened up the space to create and embrace the connections I have with friends, old and new. It can be so easy as we go on with out busy days, our crazy schedules, to forget how important it is to truly, deeply, really connect. Life has given me a great opportunity to SLOW down and take time for myself and time for me to re connect with all that I felt as if I may have left behind when I moved away from LA last October. Thank you to the TK crew for all of the work you put into getting this event together along with all of the other organizers (AVO u ROCK!) for your love, commitment, care, intention and support. Thank you to all who could not show up for the benefit and still so kindly contributed to help support my financial situation. And for all those that have sent the healing positive prayers, affirmations, thoughts, love and vibes. I am forever grateful for the healing that I have received from everyone. I would like to share a quote that came from an enlightening book that magically landed on my lap a week ago.... Trust Spirit understands adversity as opportunity. Spirit is able to work for the good in all things. As I encounter difficult transitions in which I doubt the good which is unfolding, I remind myself there is a higher plan in motion with which I can consciously cooperate. As I face my resistance to change, as I choose to align myself with events as they are unfolding, I find in my acceptance a sense of tranquility, a promise of safety. Change embraces me as I myself embrace change. I love you all so very much!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

A message from the Wind

DonnieMarie — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:54:39 GMT

Today has been a beautiful 45 degree day which feels like a miracle after enduring so many weeks of the harsh cold below zero temperatures. On these days I find myself comfortable in a t-shirt and slacks soaking up the suns rays. My body as acclimated so well with the cold that when the temperature is this warm it truly feels like summer. Now I can't remember the last time I felt that even on 55 degree days in Southern California, it being warm. I use to be bundled up in layers on these days daydreaming of the summers :) Something really cool happened a little bit ago and I would like to share....... I sat on the front porch, on the swing, eating my lunch, swaying in the sunlight, and with my eyes closed I began listening to the messages of the Wind. Much to my surprise, I recognized the soft sweep of cool air breezing past me with a familiar gentle loving touch. She says, "Don't you remember me child? I am the messenger from the North. The one who has touched your soul in the past, in the present and will always be here for you in the future. Remember the Truth: Mother Earth surrounds you in beauty and abundance no matter where your feet have landed you. Even in the great cities, full of darkness, look around and the light is there. The Trees support you giving your courage and strength. The birds sing to your heart, reminding you to radiate joy, be forgiving and love compassionately. The ground, beneath the concrete, still holds the power of Nature and emanates a great healing vibration there to support you on your journey. The connection is strong and infinite for your use. You must remain open and believe in the magic that surrounds you. Keep your heat open and the healing will continue." Then she kissed me softly on the forehead and flew on to share the message with another being who was so desperately trying to remember what this existence is all about.... have a lovely rest of the day :)

Spring is arising and Happy New Moon!!!

DonnieMarie — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 05:01:06 GMT

Spring is almost here! Yey!! I have endured one of the hardest winters in the mid-west in over 30 years! The snow has fallen ruthlessly and endlessly week after week. Here and there a day of 50 degrees sneaks its way in but within 12 hours we experience a 35 degree decrease in temperature. One day it is rain, the next morning it is ice. The following evening brings on a treacherous winter storm, the morning after opens up in a day full of sunshine. This depicts the very essence of what my life has embodied over the last 8 months....continual change, some good, some not so comfortable or pleasant, some expected, some surprising. Some days finding myself as happy as a bird peacefully singing to the heavens with praise and gratitude for all that I have received and some days cursing the Gods who have sent me to this what felt like miserable hell of existence. Life is truly memorable, it is a blessing, it is a challenge is a great game and one that involves the courage to grow. So here I am still in Chicago. And here I have decided to stay at least till the end of summer. Not sure if I can endure the depths of another long cold winter. Am hoping my path will lead me back to the warm place on the west coast where my heart still lies deep within the Ocean, sleeps in the Mountains, my soul budding with the wild flowers and lingering through out the Sequoias......I feel that I've made it this far in the city, I mine as well stick around for the most precious time of the year here. Never would have thought I had the energy of a city girl still within me! But here I am enjoying this life, learning, growing, finding a bit of happiness in the downtown skyline sunrise so early in the morning :) And I am finding many beautiful outlets of connecting with nature in the North, and connecting with lovely special new friends and old ones as well. Family surrounds me. There is new life and it is fun to watch them grow! Moving closely back in with family gives me the opportunity to test the knowledge that I have gained over the years we have been apart. They are a huge reflection for me and give me a chance to share with them all that I have learned. The hardest part is being so far from my family in California. My time away has given me the chance to reflect and truly truly appreciate what is there. The family that I have in LA is like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. Unconditional love, support, honesty, commitment, silliness, warmth, acceptance, non judgmental attitudes, and freedom. Oh, of course one of the best things is lots of fuzzy cuddle times with lovely people who grow from the simple healing that is cultivated through affection. It is a unique community to be a part of and I look forward to my return when the time is right. Looking forward to my visit for this months FMG. Can't wait to get down on the dance floor and honor our Moon as she is so beautiful! It has been almost a year since I made it to the desert so I feel that I am in for a big treat. And I will visit the Ocean, sit in the Mountains, lay beneath an Oak tree, roll around in the sand, love up that warmth shared by the Sun and be grateful that I get to come home for a bit and get a hug and a hello to all the special people in my life that have help me along my path :) Feeling truly grateful on this new Moon. Thanks for letting me share..... lots o luv n light :):) Ah, and I almost forgot...for any of you wishing to come and check out a lovely city in the midst of summer, my home is always open to you........ "There are two ways of spreading light; To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."

Finding peace in this winter wonderland

DonnieMarie — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:24:36 GMT

Who would have thought that the blizzard harsh winter storms of Chicago would invite an overwhelming feeling of peace in my being....... It has not been entirely bad as I would have thought. A foot of snow leaves much room for fun play times in the back yard with the little brothers and the dogs. Walking around in what looks like a mystical white powder covered city allows the imagination to wonder and make believe that I am traveling through a magical foreign land. Somewhere I have not visit in quite some time. I am use to venturing out in this weather to scale a mountain on my board.....but this time I'm walking down the street to get home, or go to work, or catch a train. I'm kind of use to the snowy city life which is surprising since I have been spoiled with sunny warm California days for the last six years. But there is much hidden beauty that winter brings once we change our perception of the dreaded season. It's amazing to me how many birds survive and live daily in this weather. They aren't complaining, so why should I? I feel blessed to experience a different season, new weather patterns, new sounds, sights and smells. Yesterday as I was shoveling the sidewalk in front of my family's house, the snow decided to pick a battle with me and swallow my precious new peacock ring! I threw down the shovel and took on the snows challenge and dove head first into the teasing lump of white frozen water and wrestled my ring out of it's grip! Now the snow is tickling me, and I am laughing, rolling around, throwing snowballs, making piles, forgetting what my whole purpose is with the snow and the shovel. I was playing like a kid and it was great! Sooner or later I realized that I was on the front lawn rolling around like a child and the neighbors were staring...I think they wished they too could have just let go for a moment and jumped in to have a little fun! We should never feel to old to play! Playing makes life worth living, and nature offers many conditions to play in...its a matter of taking advantage and letting go of what seems mature or not. Anyways, I'm thinking of maybe sticking around here to see what's up with the Spring time....Chicago has its magic. There is no Ocean or Mountains around the corner, but there is beauty and nature where ever we go, it is just a matter of shifting perception and being open to all life that surrounds us :)

Fluidity

DonnieMarie — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 09:33:26 GMT

So plans have changed once again as life throws yet another curve ball. To make a long story short, I decided to extend my trip a little longer in India and skip Guatemala. I was offered a great work exchange opportunity at an ashram which would enable me to learn a little bit more about the ashram life and pay for the rest of my stay in India. However, after three days of the ashram life, I found that it was not the best environment for me. This was my fourth Ashram that I visited/stayed for a bit and was not very happy with the people who were running the place. I am not one to judge so rather then being miserable, I left. And thank the Goddess because it was the best move I could have made for myself :) I have fallen completely in love with Reishikesh. This part of India is too beautiful to only spend one week. The yoga teachers are unlimited, ashrams plentiful, Indian culture thick with richness. Many more westerners here as well trying to learn the ancient secrets of yoga, meditation and cleansing. But still, the usually toursitic energy that follows the westerners is not present here and this is what I love. Oddly enough, for most of my trip I was convinced that India was not the place to come and deepen one's yoga practice unless you were really hard-core with Iyengar or the more westernized version of Ashtanga. Time and time again I felt disappointed through out my journey with the yoga teachings. It was not until I reached Reshikesh that I feel like I have found a true yogi. One that lives his daily life the way he teaches and preaches to others. Swami Krishna Duragishi is also known by locals as the laughing 76 year old crazy yogi on the roof. Unlike the ridiculously expensive classes that lurk at every corner here, he charges a fair minimum donation and the main purpose of the course is to learn how to laugh at yourself, laugh with others, with life and how to bring healing to this world through laughter. Our classes are full of jokes, fun, and playfulness and yet my practice has grown deeper then ever before. My body is twisting and turning in ways I could not have imagined. Of course my goal is not to become a bendable pretzel but within these new openings there is deep healing and this new creation of space now embraces a place for happiness, good energy, and love. So now I have been blessed with a lovely little room with a built in "kitchen" and actual shower with hot water! A rarity in India. The roof top terrace gives a magical view of the ganga's river, which I have fallen in love with as well. As long as plans to not change, I will be back in L.A. on the 12th of December. Oh and HAPPY LATE FULL MOON!!!! I thought of you all during this time and felt much connection under the moon even from so far away. It was amazing to me the energy I could feel from the dance floor. Made me appreciate my family even more. Sending lots of love

Last days........

DonnieMarie — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 09:50:01 GMT

Hello love ones :) It has been way too long since my update. Yes, I am still in India and yes I am alive and well. Although this has not been the easiest journey at times, it has been a whirlwind of experiences that I feel so grateful to have received. I have a little less then two weeks left before returning to the states and I am wishing that I had a few more months to marvel at the beauty that India holds. My last post left off in Allepey, a little town found in south Inida not to far from Ammas ashram. I ventured north to a more touristic area of India call Kochi. After fours days I was over the expensive meals and all the sellers hounding me with their products that they would like to see off their carts or shelves. I was so very happy to find myself back in the middle of now where in the Muthanga Wildlife Sanctuary. Here, I was able to find a little cottage or maybe better described as a chick shack, that I could call home for a few days. This was next to an indigenous village where the people still lived off the land fully and were always wide eyed when I came strolling by. I believe we both were interested in each other and the other's way of life. Unfortunately, there was never a way to communicate other then the universal smile, some hand gestures and good eye contact. I really enjoyed this part of my trip as I liked being immersed so deeply in the traditional culture, I liked being the only westerner around and I found this part of India to be really beautiful. From here I ventured North to Mysore and found it to be a lovely city and my first bigger city. It was a great place to stop. Really amazing food, nice people, and I bought my first Sari! My adventure then led me into the Tibetan Settlements where I was able to sit and meditate at one of my favorite temples that I've seen here. The Golden Temple was amazing. Huge, beautiful, golden, beaming with good energy. I spent two days here just hanging out listening to the monks play devotional music, chanting, and hiking. I also learned a great deal about Buddihsm and the history. Out of all monasteries or temples that I visited, this was by far my favorite. If I was to live the life as a monk, this would definitely be the place. But don't worry, I'm not thinking of shaving my head and moving to India just yet! :)> My next stop was an anciet Jain Pilgrimage town called Savenbolga. This was a surprise stop as my bus was delayed, things got crazy and I ended up here just needing a place to rest before getting to the next destination. It was a blessing as this was by the far the most spiritual and energetic town I had been in. The energy here could be felt very strongly and to get to the temples, I had to walk about 2000 stairs. I fell in love with the town so deeply that I to stay for an extra day and explore. Unfortunately, my last night there was not the easiest. Someone tried to break into my room while I was in it in the middle of the night. These things happen very rarely in India. Was not the easiest situation but also made me count my blessings in life and realize that whatever does not kill me makes me a stronger woman. From here, I decided to stop traveling alone and make sure I stuck with others. So I will not bore you with the other details of my trip as most of them entailed temples sights, yoga courses, Indian festivals and eating so much yummy food and sweets. My last week was nice as I did make it to Gokaran and stayed in Om Beach. Was so happy to finally make it to the ocean. And the beaches in India are amazing. There is nothing like waking up at 7am and walking right to the Ocean and taking a dip! My room cost me 50Rs which is about $1.50/day and meals were about $1.00 as well. I ate like a queen and could see, hear, and smell the Ocean from my room. AMAZING! It was a really good place for me to ground out my experience of the previous week and also to contemplate the direction that I wanted my life to head in. Dealing with a huge heartbreak while traveling has not been easy. This was the perfect place to support a bit of internal healing that I was so desperately needing:) I then headed up North to Goa for my birthday. YEY! What a way to spend the celebration of my 27th year. I was able to dance the night away and be grateful for all of my experiences in the past year and find excitement for this upcoming year. Goa is a lovely place with trance music floating through out the air wherever you go. This was by far the most westernized part of India that I had been to and really really expensive. My days were short as I did not have the funds to support myself in the environment, but my heart and head was not in the space to party. So that brings me to my current and final destination. Reishikesh. Just North East of New Dehli in the base of the Himalayan mountains. It is said to be the yoga capital of India. It is really nice here. I am staying in an ashram along the Ganga River. I never expected to be here but here I am. Once again fully immersed in the yoga/mediation rhythm. I will be starting a retreat on weds for one week full of new forms of healing through body/breath work, yoga, sitting in silence and all that other good stuff. I'm looking forward to my last week in India. Sooooo this may be one of my last post from India. I am scheduled to return home on December 1st and then am off to Guatemala for two weeks then on to Chicago to spend time with my family who I so dearly miss! It's really interesting how excited I feel for my future. I have no home, no job, no money left and yet I feel fully supported by what life has to offer. I am not worried. My heart is still broken due to ending a 6.5 year relationship and letting go of my best friend and all that I am comfortable with, but at the same time I feel like a new part of my life is beginning and a part of me reborn. I understand how short life really is and that we must experience each moment as if it is our first and our last. To really practice forgiveness, compassion and love in every word, thought and action. Many blessings and looking forward to seeing all of you soon!

Forgiveness and Letting Go

DonnieMarie — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 17:33:47 GMT

Two days ago when I came back to Ammas Ashram from a long walk in the nearby village accross the backwaters, I noticed a large gathering of people in the main Temple....I hear Ammas voice and quickly went up to grab a seat. It is always such a treat to be in her presence. She is a sweat heart bursting with love and you can truly feel this when around her. The energy in the Ashram though is not as full of love which was surprising to me....... A lot of judgement of this Ashram was coming up for me. I was hurt by the coldness I felt from many people there, especially the disrespectful way the resident westerners treated those of us who did not live there. They make no eye contact, don't say hello. Just look cold and act like stautes. Then Amma is around and they are sweet as can be and look at her with so much warmth. These are not the teachings of Amma. Amma says that until her students love something as small as an ant with unconditional love, they can not love her........but these people seemed so fake to me...... But as that thought and feeling came up again for the 100th time, I realized how judgemental I was being and how these trains of thoughts I was having was not helping the energy of the Ashram. And in that moment I felt so much compassion for all of these people that I had I allowed to make me feel bad.....and then forgiveness strongly flowed in. So much that I began to cry because it felt so liberating, like this huge weight and worry off my shoulders and then all of the forgiveness I felt for all of these people sitting in the temple began to wash deeply over me. The forgiveness was now for myself from myself as well. In this moment I saw how I had been trying to figure to what I did wrong in my life, how could I fix myself? How did I screw up with relationship with my parents, my partner, my siblings, friends? I saw how I had been spending all this mental energy trying to figure out what went wrong.....when none of that truly matters. I felt this strong message that once we feel forgiveness, true authentic forgiveness towards others and ourselves, all the little details do not matter! What matters is this very lovely moment and the one to follow. What matters is how to be compassionate now and loving to myself and to those around me ALL THE TIME. And to remember the freedom that follows forgiveness........... My heart is filled with gratitude for this reminder on this journey........ My last few days at Amma's ashram were amazing. Full of great morning sunrise and sunset meditations by the beach, yoga on the patio overlooking the ocean, spending my days in silence, fun little solo trips into nearby villages, and of course enjoying a hug or two with Amma before she left :) I finally feel settled into India. I feel confident walking on my own in the middle of no where. I have left the ashram and ventured out to a cute little town settled next to a lovely part of the backwaters called Alleppey. It has been a great solo adventure on the train. Although not easy, I managed to figure it out. I was to meet a woman I had met at the ashram here to take a boat up the backwaters. UnfortunateIy when I arrived I found out she had left with out me! I was really bummed as it is too expensive to take a boat on my own and I was also in this place bymyself, however, it was a blessing in disguise. I got a little guesthouse for the night, took a very long stroll out into the town, found a place to get a massage for $13 which included oils, herbal steam bath, a true Indian shower/bath and some herbal remedies to help with adjusting to Indian food/water. This woman leaving me behind forced me to get out and really do things on my own and it was not as hard as I thought it would be. Actually, quite liberating as well! Tomorrow I will head out North to Kochi and catch a ferry to the island. I hear there are great avacados and I have not had any since I left Cali. I can't wait! Then on to Mysore for a quick yoga course and then over the Tibetan Settlements in the mountains........There is much to explore in this beautiful country and so little time :) Much love to you all!

India :)

DonnieMarie — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 07:00:36 GMT

It has been one week since I left L.A. and my 5th day in India. Is it normal to be feeling a bit homesick already??? I am not sure what I was expecting to experience here, but nothing could have prepared me for all that I've seen in just a few short days. This has been a very challenging journey, testing my strength, courage, boundaries and trust. But the abundance of natural beauty that surrounds me is like nothing else I have ever witnessed. And for this I am forever grateful :) I will spare you the details of my stressful flight into New Dehli (crazy city) and begin my story at the arrival of Trivandrum located in the Southern part of Kerala. I was surprised at the largeness of this city. When driving through I almost felt as if I was in a large city in the states minus the fact that I was the only western around that I could see. My first stop was to Sivananda Yoga Ashram. The drive to the ashram gave me my first glimpse of the small Indian village lifestyle. I have never seen so many colorful people in my life. It was beautiful. Nothing like I would have imagined. However, this was the first point in my trip where I began to realize how many little things I take for granted in my life, like a house not made out of mud with holes in the roof and having food to eat each day, and drinking clean water and having an actual bathroom. The Ashram is located outside of Nayar Dam. Here the ashram teaches Ashtanga yoga, meditation, and Satsang. There was a strict schedule that consisted of waking up at 5am, meditating, singing, tea, 2 hours yoga, brunch, seva, tea, lecture, 2 hours yoga again, dinner, one hour free time and then meditation more satsang and off to bed by 10pm. I enjoyed the yoga and I have yet to experience any better chai then what they served at this ashram. In fact, I would almost encourage you to go to this ashram just for the chai alone! Made with whole milk, coconut milk, organic herbs...mmmmmmmm. The meals are Ayuervedic standards and were amazing as well. The cost was about $13/day. A bit expensive but worth every penny. On Friday, the Ashram directors took us out on a day trip. We went to Kanya Kumari which is the furthest south type of India in that region. We began with a hike up Marutvan Hills. These striking hills are at the site of Sri Narayanba Guru's enlightenment . The hike itself was horrendously horrible to be honest. They did not warn us that we would be hiking for a straight 2 hours up a very steep hill at the hottest part of the mid morning. People did not bring enough water and some experienced dehydration. However, it was worth every pain staking step :) There were little hidden cave temples all over the mountain. We were invited into one ritual where we had to crawl throughout this tiny cave into this room with a fire and this old man was singing around the fire, praying so deeply for all of us and life itself and then smudged sandalwood all over our for head. I had not one clue of what he was saying but I could feel what he was saying and that in itself left me filled with a heart of gratitude for the experience. The view from the top was breathtaking. I had no ideal of what I was looking at but there were so many amazing mountains, villages, lakes, the ocean all in one! We then had lunch at a nearby village and went on to take a ferry ride to Vivekananda Rock Memorial. These statues are both huge and we were able to get out and explore each temple. There was an AUM cave (yes, in India they spell OM as AUM which I believe is the correct way???) We then went to my favorite part of the trip which was the Kanya Kumari tip also known as Land's End. It is at the confluence of the three seas - the Arabian Sea, the Indian Ocean and the Bay of Bengal. This area and its surroundings are said to be of the land created by Parasurama, an incarnation of Lord Visnu. It was impossible to fully swim in the ocean here as the tide was so strong you would surely drown but we had so much fun playing in the waves. I have never experienced such a strong current. Just standing at the shore the sand itself would pull you into the waves! It was great! Our last stop was my favorite temple, one that is a little bit over 1300years old. It is the oldest temple in South India and may be the oldest through out all of Asia. I can not even explain what is inside. Its just one of those things you have to go see. The detailed construction of every part of the temple walls, pillars, ceilings and floors just blew me away. And the devotion of all the people to their Gods was beautiful. I was so taken back by the whole experience that I had to just sit down for a long time. And this is where every emotion that I had been holding onto way deep inside came flooding out. Yes, I was like a crazy crying American in the middle of the Ashram on the ground. I can't exactly tell you why, it just happened. And I let it. And it seemed perfectly acceptable that I was behaving in this way................... I can't say that I am much of a religious person, in fact some of these Hindu Gods are kind of creepy to me....but I love the devotion by the people here of their Gods. Its not like in Church where you go, and you pray on this stool and stare at Christ on the cross....no, at these temples, people are truly interacting with the statues. Like giving them baths, and rubbing ghee on their head, and throwing rose water all over them and massaging their toes (yes I really did see this happening!) and spending lots of time making beautiful bouquets to hang all over them as a daily offering. Their are rituals happening at every corner, every minute of the day and night. Its mind blowing. I feel honored to get to experience the way one shows their love to the Devine so deeply in whatever form the Devine looks. So this is getting quite lengthy and I could not possibly explain all that I've seen in the last 5 days, which I still can't believe its only been 5 days cause there has been so much happening! But I did leave the Sivinanda Ashram about 10days early when I got word that my most favorite spiritual teacher Amma was to be in India until the 11th due to a canceled trip. I found out late Friday night and Saturday morning I left with another woman to visit Amma and hopefully reveive a cuddle from her before she left. I will once again spare you the horrific journey details from one ashram to the other! As soon as I stepped into her ashram , I felt like I had been there before. I received my hug within one hour of arriving, which gave me the energy and strength to get throughout the rest of the day. Our room is located on the 14th floor overlooking the Ocean! The view is incredible. All day we here the ocean waves, chanting, musical instruments and birds. It cost $3 per day to stay here and that includes meals. We also have our own private bathroom and it feels really comfortable. I pan to stay here for a few days and enjoy the energy of Amma and all that surrounds her :) Not really sure what my next plan is and not really worried about it. I am realizing that it is important to really stay open to anything that comes my way and to just trust that everything will be ok. There is much magic that surrounds me on this trip. I feel guided and safe :) I see now how people say when you travel you do not come back the same person....I feel that even in 5 days I have begun to see more strength and courage come out from within and the willingness to face fear and trust whats around the corner....... Well, this has gotten quite long....will be sure to blog again in the next week or so. Love love love n light Om Shanti :)

A blessing to one of my greatest teachers Corbin Harney

DonnieMarie — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 20:53:39 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPemcFt5K34 Corbin was one of my greatest teachers. He was and always will be a father to me. He taught me so many good things, like how to heal anything with prayer, song, intention, Spirit and water. Today Corbin died at 92 years old. He spent his life healing our Mother Earth and healing many people who needed to be healed. He dedicated his whole life standing up against and stopping the destruction of our Earth by the government . He spent his life blessing this great Earth and all those born to it. He ran a Native American Healing and Prayer center in Tecopa, Ca called Poohaba. This translates to "doctor water". Here the hot springs were blessed daily and prayed over to honor the healing powers of water. Here, many people came from all over the world to receive healing in these waters. I have spent much time on this land, caring for it. Watching miracles happen. I volunteered much time and grew very close to Corbin and his teachings. The water here is special. The energy in this water is like nothing else I have experienced. The water, when you sing to it, really dances before your eyes! Questions were answered when one sat in stillness long enough within the water to hear what she had to share. Each morning there was a Sunrise ceremony filled with prayer, song and dance. There is something so simple and sweet about waking up before the sun, sitting with the fire, praying to Spirit/Creator/God/Goddess/Universe/All that Is, and connecting with all animals, plants, spirits and nature. Thanking everything for the life we have been given. Honoring all this Earth has given us. Being so present with the start of a new day sending out good intentions, love to all, or whatever you need to let go of. Corbin had many songs. He had many stories. I know that he is with me in Spirit. He came to me in a dream two nights ago and I woke up singing his song. I felt that this day would come as we know he has had cancer for almost 2 years now. It may have been longer. Ceremony, prayer and laughter has kept him going for so long. His cancer came most like from him going to every nuclear Nevada test site and blessing them regularly. Going to towns that were heavily effected by these test sites and blessing sick families. This went on for over twenty years. Ones body can only take so much in this physical realm. But he is in peaceful state of bliss, I am sure. No pain or sadness. His people share that if he has learned all of his lessons in this life and completed his mission, then he will move into the Spirit world. And if he has more to learn and to accomplish, he will move into his next life. Either way, I feel his Spirit deep within my heart. I thank him for all that he has shared. For his selfless random acts of kindness. He has been an inspiration to me. I thank you a thousand times Corbin for being a great friend, father, and Spiritual teacher. I send many blessings to you and am internal gratitude for all that you have shared. Corbin Harney is descended from generations of New traditional healers, and is grateful for many extraordinary teachers who shared their knowledge in his lifetime. In the last thirty-five years, he has traveled throughout the country and the world as a key-note speaker and Spiritual Leader, with a profound environmental message for all. He has spoken at the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland, and is the author of two books: "The Way It Is: One Water, One Air, One Earth" (Blue Dolphin Publishing, 1995) and a forthcoming book, "The Nature Way". Numerous documentaries have been made about his work and message. He is also widely known as an advocate for Native American sacred sites, culture and tradition. Traditional healers did not charge for their services. They believed strongly that since the Creator and Earth Mother did not exact a price for their gifts to mankind, such as herbal medicines and hot springs, neither should humans charge each other for God-given skills. Corbin also has a strong desire to counter divisiveness and poverty by offering his skills to all people equally, free of charge. Corbin is also strongly moved to teach young people wherever they are, and to provide a living example of natural, ecologically friendly living at Poo-Ha-Bah. Being more connected to nature and to spirit helps us heal ourselves and the earth that sustains us. He often says, "We only have one Water, one Air, one Earth. We need to take care of our Mother so that she can take care of us."

Tag! I'm it!

DonnieMarie — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 04:14:29 GMT

So this little mischievous elf has tagged me and here are a few unknown facts about me, myself and I....... 1. I grew up in this awful cult religion called the Jehovah Witnesses. Sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone if you are a Jehovah Witness but it really is a cult and get the hell out while you can! It was the worst way to grow up. Being 5 and not celebrating holidays was rough. My mom tells me a story that when I was in kindergarten she was called in to a meeting with my teacher and a bunch of my fellow students parents. Apparently one day at lunch, I stood up on a picnic table and starting telling all of the kids that Christmas and Easter were man made holidays. And there is no such thing as Santa, the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy. I told them that their parents are lying to them and if they did not start listening to Jehovah they would all die and not live forever after in paradise! I guess I made a bunch of kids cry and some boy tried to punch me.....It took me almost 18 years to let go of that brainwashing propaganda and to understand that God, your Higher Power, the Universe, or whatever you wanna call it is made only of love and is here to love. 2. I have a secret fondness for country music.....I love going country line dancing, although I haven't gone since I moved to L.A. My girlfriends and I use to go all the time in high school. Where else could you go at 16 in a tiny miniskirt, hot boots, lots o makeup and drink cheap beer without a fake i.d.? Good times! 3. My mom is a gypsy at heart. At the age of 24 she left my father with 3 kids and the four of us traveled from Florida to Chicago and lived all over the place. At times we lived in shelters for battered moms, salvation army's, random adoptive families homes, and in the car. My mom moved us around so much in the third grade that I had to repeat that year of school due to too many missed days. She did her best with us but she just had feet that couldn't stay in one place for too long. I think she passed that down to me so I am very surprised to still be in L.A. after four years. 4. I still sleep with a stuffed animal. I never really did until I was 21. Andy had bought this really cute stuffed soft dog for one of our best girlfriends for Christmas. After this one silly rolley night, I fell in love with the dog awwwww and I have slept with it ever since. It's even come to burning man with me and when I travel back home. Whatever, its soft, cute and cuddly and it makes me happy :) 5. I get extremely silly when I drink alcohol. When I was much younger, in high school, I use to drink every weekend. It was not until about 3 years ago when I decided to chill out for health and spiritual reasons....I wish I could be open enough to tell a funny story that really made me think about slowing down and taking care of myself. If you ever talk to Joe and Nicole, ask them about one of the first nights Andy and I moved in..they will tell you of the most interesting way I stole their blanket right from underneath them! hehehehe 6. I use to sell cell phones. In fact, at one point before I moved to L.A., I was the top sales woman in my district and the second in the company of 500+ employees. I won a trip for two to Italy but moved to California about 4 months before the trip. We had already set our goal of leaving Chicago before the winter and the company would not honor the trip unless I was still a current employee. 7. I very rarely watch the television but one day heard the girls at work talking about this show, "So you think You Can Dance" I love to dance and I love watching dancing. And the show freaking rocks! Yea, its a little annoying its on FOX and the commercials really suck but I love watching these people get out on stage and just rock it with all that they've got. I think I might get on that show one day too! hahaha 8. I use to be a gangsta! hehehe Well, I use to think I was one or felt I belonged. When I was 14 till about 16 I ran with a bunch of kids that were wanna be gangsters. Since I smoked cigarettes, drank booze and beat up other girls, I fit right in. Really, deep down inside I was the sweetest thing but never felt I fit in anywhere so I ended up wearing these college starter jackets and throwing up gang signs to support the boys I dated. Now when I look back on it, it was so silly. If only I had run into a Moontribe at the age of 14, how different things would have been!