Blah, blah, blah-blah

My Burning Man 2008 HIV experience

Weirdo — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 06:01:43 GMT

My Burning Man 2008 HIV experience So I was a BM virgin this past year. I had a wonderful time. Two volunteer opportunities that called to me were Safe Sex Camp and B.E.D.(Bureau of Erotic Discourse). SSC needed safe sex kit passer outers so I handed out kits to participants at BED's sex positive rape prevention workshops. For the event I ordered a white tshirt online that just had HIV+ written across it in big bold letters. I thought it would be an excellent way to bring up safe sex to people I encountered. At one of the workshops I was talking with a straight guy and he asked me how straight men contract HIV. He seriously asked that if a man were to get HIV on their "front" does "it" crawl around to the "back" and go "up". I couldn't believe his only concept of how HIV enters the body is up through the anus. I informed him that his penis is a receptacle for HIV. He also thought my HIV + tshirt was a joke. I reminded him that not everyone is going to be as upfront about their status as I am. It was fun educating him and watching the looks on people's faces when they caught sight of my shirt. Later in the week my neighbor mentioned that he and his campmates had seen me in the shirt. His campmate expressed concern to my neighbor that he was sharing a pipe of tobacco with me. Like it was dangerous to smoke with an HIV infected person. I can't believe there is still so many uneducated people. So glad I wore that shirt and educated when I could.

I did NOT change my underwear today.

Weirdo — Thu, 22 May 2008 09:48:55 GMT

New Sins!

Weirdo — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:56:41 GMT

Leave it to the Catholics to create new sins... My fav, "Sinners risk burning in hell unless absolved through confession and penitence". Vatican lists new sinful behaviors ROME, Italy (AP) -- A Vatican official has listed drugs, pollution and genetic manipulations as well as social and economic injustices as new areas of sinful behavior. Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti said in an interview published on Sunday by the Vatican's daily newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, that known sins increasingly manifest themselves as behavior that damages society as a whole. Girotti, who heads the Apostolic Penitentiary, a Vatican body that issues decisions on matters of conscience and grants absolutions told the paper that whilst sin used to concern the individual mostly, today it had a mainly a social resonance, due to the phenomenon of globalization. Catholic teaching distinguishes between lesser, so-called venial sins, and mortal sins. When asked to list the new areas of sinful behavior, Girotti denounced "certain violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments, genetic manipulations." He also mentioned drugs, which weaken the mind and obscure intelligence; pollution; as well as the widening social and economic differences between the rich and the poor that "cause an unbearable social injustice." Girotti said the Catholic Church continued to be concerned by other sinful acts, including abortion and pedophilia. He said Church authorities had reacted with rigorous measures to child abuse scandals within the clergy, but he also claimed that the issue had been excessively emphasized by the media. His comments came at the end of a week-long Vatican conference on confession. A recent survey said that 60 percent of Italian Catholics do not go to confession. Traditionally the Catholic church has had a list of seven deadly sins, that of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride established by Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th century. The terms entered the popular vocabulary after the publication of Dante's "Divine Comedy." The deadly sins are in contrast with venial sins - relatively minor sins that can be forgiven. A person that commits a mortal sin risks burning in hell unless absolved through confession and penitence. Now the Vatican says it is time to modernize the list to fit a global world. On hearing the Girotti's suggestion, some priests thought it was a good idea. Father Antonio Pelayo, a Spanish priest and Vatican expert noted that it is time for both sinners and confessors to get over their obsession with sex and think about other ways humans hurt each other in the world in which they live. "There are many other sins that are perhaps much more grave that don't have anything to do with sex - that have to do with life, that have to do with the environment, that have to do with justice," he told AP Television. Father Greg Apparcel, a local priest said that the Pope may have been talking About this aspect of sin as a response to the recent "Italian confession" survey. Apparcel also hinted that the announcement may have a wider agenda ahead of the Holy Father's trip to the United States and his speech to the United Nations. "There is some sound going around that perhaps he is going to speak about ecology and environment, and if he does, this is kind of preparation for that," he said. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/03/10/vatican.updates.sins.ap/index.html

The brain of a 25 year old

Weirdo — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 18:19:55 GMT

I have read before that the core of one's personality is pretty much set in stone around age 25. How you think, act, ways of being, your integrity, how you are in relationships... at age 25, is how you will pretty much be for life. It's best to get yo shit right before you hit 25. Not that radical transformation can't happen at any time in one's life. I view the brain very much as a muscle that can be trained. Positive actions build up those positive pathways in the brain. The negative ones atrophy the less you use them. The under 25 peeps currently will stretch their brain further than any other generation. Studies show that the brain can be trained well into old age. The younger generation will live longer than any previous thus the need to keep the brain in tip-top shape. They'll have better nutrition/medical knowledge of the brain. They could have biological/technological enhancement of their brains. Scientific evidence of physical brain function supporting the 25 theory: >>Brain scans show that the frontal lobes don't mature until age 25, and their connections to other parts of the brain continue to improve to at least that age, Giedd said. Full article: http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/12/28/teen.brain/index.html Yummy brains!

James Curtis Doyle, Jr. May 8th, 1931 – Dec 1st, 2007

Weirdo — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 07:24:45 GMT

My Father! Passed away peacefully at home while surrounded by family. After an early heart attack, quadruple-bypass, emphysema, COPD, 2 years of many hospitalizations, cancer of the esophagus, and 50 some years of smoking he finally succumbed to a lung infection. Happily, he pretty much had his mind and personality intact up till the near end. I luckily was able to spend some very good time with him. We were able to bring him home and he went the next day knowing he was at home and with family. My Dad was at peace with himself, his family and his end times. He didn’t stop fighting either. A trait that I am honored to have inherited from him. Over the past few years he would get sick, go into the hospital and then make a comeback. He did it so often that I started calling him The Comeback Kid. As a child he had very bad asthma and wasn’t expected to live past the age of 10. That’s where he got his fight in him. He was as ornery and stubborn as can be as well during the past year. He didn’t stop smoking until his very last hospitalization. A year ago after a six-week stint in the hospital we made an effort to keep him from smoking with intent of quality of life. He was determined to smoke though. As soon as he found the car keys that were being hidden from him he snuck out and drove up to the store to get some smokes. When he couldn’t find the keys he ran a con on visitors to take him up to Walgreens to get a “prescription”. The first time he asked me to take him I knew why we were really going. I wasn’t going to make him pretend and I wanted him to keep his pride and dignity intact. I told him to just go ahead and get his smokes. My Pops was a very loving and caring person. I always felt loved and cared for and provided for when I was a child. As an adult he accepted me fully and I never felt any less love from him. I thank him most for that. He was really loved by his family, extended family and friends. My family and I were very comforted by the number of people who attended his services. Dad lived a very good life, raised seven kids while maintaining his sanity and he leaves me with some very, very good memories.

CCC

Weirdo — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 09:30:29 GMT

I've been searching for a clown class in Chicago but can't find anything. I thought there'd be something like a Clown College of Chicago but nope. I'm looking for something like Clowning 101, makeup, costume, basic clowning around kind of stuff. Anyone know of anything like that in the city? Thanks, Pauldo

WWDDD?

Weirdo — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 07:09:18 GMT

(What would Daffy Duck do?)

I was twisted even as a child...

Weirdo — Tue, 08 May 2007 06:41:57 GMT

I've been going through old family pictures and found a few from past Halloweens. My Mom would take a pic of us all in our costumes. One year I dressed up as a "mugger". I wore panty hose over my head and had a cap gun to stick up people with. Another year I was Jack the Ripper, black cape, black hat and a plastic dagger. I can't believe my parents let me dress up as that! Or didn't send me to a shrink back then. I remember people asking what I was when I went trick or treatin'...then the blank look on their faces or the polite nod and smile when I told them I was Jack the Ripper.

mannequin's

Weirdo — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 18:32:49 GMT

anyone know where I could get a mannequin? a busty girl one preferably? free is good too! thanks

Coming Out

Weirdo — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 03:58:20 GMT

I first came out about being gay when I was 22. One of my brilliant decisions during a manic period was to go and join the Army. I remember during boot camp the drill sergeant one day said to us "if there are any fags here we will get rid of them". I thought to myself "he's talking about me". It was the first time that I internally understood myself to be gay. I had equated gay/fag/homo to be a feminine kind of guy and I didn't identify with that. Although I had some experiences in my early teen years with another kid my age I had suppressed it until I was 22. Luckily I ended up in a military hospital with a flu and I had missed a week of basic training. It was after the first Gulf War and they were making cut backs in troop levels. The Army gave me the option of starting over in basic training or leaving. I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I stayed in the Army. I probably would have ended up sucking on a gun barrel instead of... The first person I told about my sexuality was my twin sister. After I got back from my brief Army career we were both living at my parents house. My bedroom was in the basement and one afternoon I had my door closed while I was taking a nap. I got up to go to the bathroom and didn't know my twin sister was in the basement with some friends watching a movie. As soon as I opened the door I had seen my twin and another girl just snuggling on the couch. They were just as surprised as I was and they jumped apart as quick as possible. I pretended I didn't see them, said hello to my sister and her friends then went on my way. I had no idea that my sis was into other girls. Later that night I wrote a letter to her telling her that I loved her irregardless of who she was. She got to read it, we had a long talk and a big cry. I then ended up telling her that I thought I was gay as well. After awhile my parent's and the rest of my bro's and sisters found out about both of us. One day my Mom said to me out of the blue "I don't care what you keep in the house but some people are nosy so you should keep things hidden away". Apparently my Dad was snooping around my room and found a copy of Gay Chicago magazine. He said something to my Mom about it and later approached my twin sister. He said to my sis, "I know he's gay but I don't know how far he is into it." Like I had joined a cult or something. Since they were talking about sexuality my twin ended up telling my pops about herself. I would have loved to have seen the look on his face! Glad he didn't have a heart attack and keel over right then and there. My dad is old school but never once have I ever felt any less loved by him for being gay. My twin and I have been fortunate that our entire family has been nothing but loving and accepting. Ever since I came out I haven't stopped coming out. It's a way of being that I carry over into other aspects of my life. I don't believe in holding onto secrets or guilt or shame about myself and my past. Keeping things stuck in your head causes brain damage. Speak them out I say! This is one of the reasons I speak so openly about myself, my issues and my health. I was pretty repressed years ago so there's always more that I can peel back and expose. Most people can always discover more about themselves. People might think I'm crazy for speaking so openly about myself but imagine how whacked I would be if I didn't talk about my shit!? It keeps me sane.

Ah The Joys of Being Unemployed

Weirdo — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 10:42:29 GMT

Ah the joys of being unemployed! I'm up all night I sleep all day It's so not right Nowhere to go Nothing to do No showering for me If I so choose My beard grows My pits stink So do my toes And my dishes pile up in the sink Oh the piles of laundry and clothes It certainly reeks They hide in the closet I don't even want to take peek My doc gave me some drugs To keep away the bugs I lay around all day just like a rug The best medicine though are plenty of hugs Oh the depression Worse than a concussion I feel like a slob Not sure when I'll get another job Winter is nearly ending My brain can't keep bending I'll soon be outta my funk And I'll clean up my junk The blues are an old friend I'll soon be on the mend I've beat it before It won't be around no more Summer is coming I'll soon be humming Joy is looming And the music will again be booming!

I hate winter!

Weirdo — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 04:43:07 GMT

Winter sucks big donkey dick! :)

WHO LIKES ROLLER COASTERS???

Weirdo — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 20:13:41 GMT

Well I hate them. They scare the shite out of me! I won't go on em', I won't go near em'. I always feel vindicated too when I hear of news reports of family filled days of fun at an amusement park gone horribly wrong due to a horrific roller coaster ride of death, dismemberment and disembowelment. They're death traps! Who in their right mind would go on one of those things!? I had this reoccurring nightmare when I was a kid. My family had one of those old school station wagons when I was growing up. The kind where the back part of it would just flip down like a truck's gate does. Well the nightmare was the same all of the time: I would be driving somewhere with my family. I would be sitting in the far back of the station wagon. All of a sudden we would just drive right up onto a roller coaster. We would start going up and up the hill before the first drop...the rear gate of the station wagon would accidentally flip down and I would start rolling out of the back of the station wagon as we were going up the hill. I always woke up before I fell out of the car. I've heard that if you die in your dreams you die for real man! I remember that nightmare started soon after I had seen a silly cartoon about the "future" and technology. It was one of those cartoon snippets that they put in-between Ricochet Rabbit and MaGilla Gorilla. Ricochet Rabbit was the shit yo! Bing-bing-BING! Fastest gun totin' Sheriff in the Wild West! So yeah this cartoon they showed had a family just drive their car up onto a roller coaster. I'm sure that made it's way into my reoccurring nightmare. My original roller coaster trauma though came at the cruel hands of my sister Mary. I was just a wee lad of three or four years of age and my family went to Kiddie-Land I think. My older sister Mary forced me to go onto this little roller coaster they had. I remember crying throughout the whole ride. I was terrified! People screaming and everything. And the part that pissed me off the most was that I had won a rubber knife and knife sheath from playing Skee-ball. I loved guns and knifes when I was a kid. I was twisted even at a very young age. I think my grade school class voted me as most likely to grow up to be a serial killer. So I had my flashy new knife stuck in my sock when we got on the roller coaster. Sometime during the ride my knife fell out of my sock and I lost it. I had to play a frickin' lot of hours of Skee-ball to collect enough tickets for that knife! I've long ago forgiven my sister Mary for making me go on that roller coaster. It's nice to have a big family who I can share these silly childhood stories with now. When my family gets together we get a lot of laughs from sharing our stories with each other.

Bubble Wrap Addiction

Weirdo — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 08:24:42 GMT

For those with a bubble wrap addiction just like me and you need a fix... http://www.urban75.com/Mag/bubble.html aaahhh...I feel so much better now :)

Finding a mate...

Weirdo — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:10:51 GMT

Not that you can time it but one of my goals hopefully for sometime this year is to put more effort into dating. I do think a personal relationship is a sign of maturity, an opportunity for growth and of course fills the need to love and be loved. I think one of the highest goals in life is to make a difference in another person's life. A personal relationship is a great opportunity to do so. A life lived without ever making a difference in someone else's life seems empty. Being gay I've always have had a sense that dating is more difficult. Compared to "straight" people my dating pool is a lot smaller. For instance, a possible percentage of people who are gay could be 5% of the population. Of that 5% say 2.5% are male. Of that number how many live in my geographic area? I've never been a big believer in long distance relationships. Of that number how many would be in my general age range? I've never dated 3+/- years from my own age. I do think it is ideal that persons have a compatible maturity level and equal power in a relationship. Now how many possible mates would I have a mutual attraction with? How many would be ok with my HIV status? I have never faulted anyone for not being ok with my status. It is each person's decision about their physical health, safety and comfort level. Though I do know a number of long term couples where one is HIV pos and the other has remained HIV neg. How many people would then be ok with my interests and the scene that I hang in? I'm not much for the typical gay scene. Finally how many people would dig my personality and other quirks? So I calculated that my chances of meeting someone is about .000000000001. Oy...I'll never meet anyone! kidding... I really am not that worried about it. Remaining single is a far more valid choice than entering a relationship which is not happy and healthy for all. I have always just concentrated on being happy and secure as a single person. Each person has to be happy before entering a relationship anyway. So maybe I am closer to "relationship" than I think???

Conjunction-junction, what's my major malfunction???

Weirdo — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 23:25:00 GMT

I finally broke my therapist! Not that I was trying to break her and I didn't really but she decided to cut off our sessions. She said she thought she just didn't have the skills and knowledge to provide me the help I needed. I sure did test the limits of her knowledge and therapeutic experience. In our last session this week she said she "sure will not forget me!" She did turn me onto another therapist who has more experience in workplace stress. She was a wonderful therapist. I recommend everyone to her. One of my main goals in seeking therapy was to get "relationship" out of it. By no means was my childhood bad. My family has always been loving and accepting of me. My parents are wonderful people. There are though in each family ways of being that can be improved upon. I would think the hope of any loving parent would be to have their children improve upon the characteristics handed down to them. ...to iron out a few dysfunctions that can be inherited from one's family. I grew up in a family of nine. A nice German-Irish Catholic family that didn't know about those contraceptive thingys. I love my family greatly but from a family systems theory viewpoint I do not think large families are ideal. Dynamics increase exponentially when you add in another member to a family. The stressors increase for all members. It amazes me how much your way of being in life comes from your family. I even think on a genetic level that our habits and tendencies come from our parents. Of course environment and ecspecially early development play a large roll in the course of one's life. One of the things I've been aware of is that how you do relationship with family directly effects how you do relationship with all of the other aspects of your life. Traits such as integrity are important in every relationship no matter what kind of relationship it is...romantic, friends, work. Here's to relationship!

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear!

Weirdo — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 01:45:47 GMT

I absolutely love the game of poker. It intellectually challenges me and satisfies my interest in people's psychology. My boss once knocked poker playing. He said something like he didn't understand why people would enjoy a game about manipulating others and lying. It could be about that if that's what you choose poker to be about. However, for me poker is much more about understanding myself and discipline and overcoming adversity when things don't go your way. I much prefer to take a Zen approach to poker. It's a discipline in maintaining your emotions, win or lose. Sexuality or other personal info is a great tool to find out what people are made of and I don't have any problem using it at a poker table if it would put someone on tilt. One time a loud mouth guy sat down next to me at the table and he was jabbering at everyone, trying to work info out of them, and eventually it was my turn to have to listen to him. He turned to me and said, "that waitress over there has a pretty nice rack". I turned towards him and blankly said, "aww, I don't know about that. I don't go that way". He was so confused, I could just see the little hamster turning the wheel in his head trying to figure it out. It shut him up and he didn't say a thing to me the rest of the night. I don't mind talking about myself at the table. The person asking a question usually ends up worse off for having asked the question. I do take a perverse pleasure in creeping people out. You can learn about others through their reactions to different topics, beliefs, practices. People fascinate me. Poker is a game about people far more than it is about cards, odds or money.

Paul's Guide to Electronic Music

Weirdo — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 00:06:28 GMT

house music -get your funk on hardcore/gabber -someone or something gets killed or destroyed or visited by the devil happy hardcore -just can't bring myself to listen to it but talented mc's out there and the kids dig it IDM -the art of saying nothing and making that beautiful trance -trippy psytrance -I see and hear things that aren't really there and I laugh about it! Goa -I'm reborn! jungle -nothing quite like some heavy bass to scratch that itch. I *heart* my first calling. drum n' bass -white bread's watered down jungle techno -what would we be without thee? ambient -lQQk my arms are floating chill -aaahhh dub -light er' up! rap/hip-hop -ice muther fuckin T, old school gangsta stuff, cypress hill. I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one... that's was some great stuff!

Is the universe friendly?

Weirdo — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 09:32:44 GMT

Is there an inherent benevolence to the universe? We easily could be wiped out by an asteroid or other global catastrophe at any time. Why do people believe that there's someone or something looking out for our best interests? There's nothing to suggest that another intelligent species would neccesarily be friendly to us. Would an advanced intelligent and technological species of alien be benevolent to us? Maybe they would just find us to be a tasty yummy snack! Maybe they would find us to be as unintelligent and un-developed just as much we see monkeys to be. Would they have any morality against using us as test subjects just as we have no moral misgivings about using monkeys to test out new drug compounds for human consumption and safety? No guarantees that their moraility would match ours. If aliens ever do visit I suggest they have to check in through immigration at the airport just like all of the other aliens who visit our country. Why wouldn't we demand that they follow our laws and customs just as we would if visiting their planet? I would bet that any intelligent being has a self-interest. Self-interest goes hand-in-hand with self-awareness.

Do you believe in altruism?

Weirdo — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 03:44:25 GMT

Do you believe in an inherent human altruism? Without mental illness or defect present can a human being truly act outside of their own best interest? At all times and in every situation? I do believe in the caring nature of human beings but I do not believe people act without their own self-interest in mind. Even when you do an act of kindness for another you don't do so if it is not in your best interest or if it will put you in a worse off position. Again, absent mental illness or defect people at least think they are acting in their best interest. For example you don't give someone a present if it doesn't at least make you happy. So you can't ever really escape your own self-interest. The very most basic command of our lives is to strive for our own continued existence. To not do so would not be human. Acting in your own self-interest suggests a healthy ego. So many people are wanting to suspend or let go of their egos without ever having achieved a healthy mature ego. Group cooperation to achieve common goals is also acting in one's self-interest. That would point to a sign of maturity actually. I always act in my best interest. My choices don't always turn out to be the best of course. In being selfish I am allowed to be that much more generous of myself. . Nothing is worse than receiving a gift that was given out of obligation. I refuse to do that any longer. I only give gifts to people who I truly value. I'm giving the gift because it does makes me happy to do so. How much care, heart and thought is in a gift only given out of obligation? Honesty about your self-interest is of course always required. I'm totally not bothered by people's self-interest as long as it is honest. I don't assign much meaning to people's selfishness either. I have yet to meet a human being that wasn't selfish. I don't let it stop me from being related to others. It is ok for my friend's to make requests of me and I of them. We can either accomplish a request from others or not(for whatever reasons). Requests can be negotiated too. I have told past partners in romantic relationships that everything is open to discussion and negotiation. Relations of all kinds are negotiations. Always perfectly ok to agree to not agree(cheesy cliché blabbering). Luckily I have many honest and giving family and friends!

I'm a genius!

Weirdo — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 05:30:23 GMT

One of the house chores that I hate doing the most is washing dishes. I'll let them pile up for weeks then I'll get some motivation to get them done. As I was doing them tonight I thought that instead of letting them pile up and up and up that I'll get rid of all my dishes except for 2 plates, 2 knives, 2 glasses, 1 pot, etc. Everything else is going to the thrift store down the block. I should have thought of this a long time ago! If I want to eat then I'll have to wash one of the two utensils that I need. It'll never pile up past 2. I never have more than one person over to eat in my small studio apartment anyway. For the few times a year that I do have more than 2 over then we go to paper and plastic. Sometimes I'm just amazed by my genius! kidding... Yet another way that I've been trying to simplify my life.

Indeed, political questions I do have...

Weirdo — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 09:31:47 GMT

I sometimes wonder what exactly is the ideal form of government for a nation? Is democracy correct for every nation? Could a country the size of China function with any other form of government than their semi-quasi communist/open enterprise system? Or is their highly relegated system the cause of their expansion and possible over expansion some day? Would they not be growing so fast if they were completely democratic/free market? Would a less involved minimal government system like Libertarianism work in China? Would that be complete chaos for a country their size? A system of where absolutely everything is regulated wouldn't be very attractive. An existence where we basically live as automatons? Hellz no to that! I would supposed there isn't a one size fit all solution for every nation in the world. Are democracy/mixed-democracy systems truly the best form of government? Differing variations of democracy/socialism based upon a country's particular size and circumstances? Would a monarchy be best for a tiny nation island with limited resources? Theocracies -If you know me then you know my views on theocracies. Would complete anarchy even be plausible for any nation? I have always thought that a more evolved society would need less government. More government has always seemed like a step backwards to me. Perhaps it is needed for the form of government to change as a society develops. Maybe far more government is needed up to a certain point of development and then a gradually declining amount of government can then occur over time. Where would we be on the peak of development where more government is called for and when will we eventually need less government. Close to the peak? Over the peak? For societies continued development, however you may describe "development", is there a more controlled strict form of government that would be best suited for our continued survival as a species? Where everything in the land is spec'ed out by law to be the most efficient in it's use of resources? When we someday double in population would more government control be necessary to make sure our systems continue to operate optimally? Is it governments job to spur development and growth among it's population? Or should government solely respond to the needs of natural growth and trade that occurs between people? Obviously a common governmental currency makes for trade far easier and efficient. We certainly do turn byproducts of governmental functions into commercial products like the Internet. I still believe in man to decide amongst themselves what is best for all, a natural goodness and respect to others, natural intelligence to build compatible and beneficial to all systems of society. When flying into a large city at night I always look out the window in wonder. I'm amazed that it all works together pretty much in harmony. Roads and traffic, electricity, water, gas, food, communications are all functional minus a few accidents here and there.

North pole or south pole?

Weirdo — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 06:05:11 GMT

So sometimes I want to go "up" to the north pole in the summer and "down" to the south pole in the winter. I guess you could say I'm bi-polar! Haaaa! So yes I do suffer from the mental disorder of bi-polar. Luckily I only suffer from the less severe diagnosis of bi-polar II. Even in the diagnosis of bi-2 my symptoms are on the less severe side of the scale. I tend to cycle more with the change of seasons whereas a bi-polar1 could cycle between extreme depressions or high manias on a weekly or daily basis. Bi2's can cycle weekly to monthly to seasonal. I've done a number of "not so bright things to do" over the years but nothing like getting arrested on the White House lawn for trying to pay Mr. Bush a visit or thinking that I could just jump through a plate glass window at a restaurant. Real stories of people I know. Thankfully I have never have made an actual suicide attempt either. Some people suffer horribly from this disease. There are still some great strides needed in fully understanding how the brain functions but there are some good medications out there that have helped many people. I've been visiting the looney-bin lately. Actually just a 3 hour per day, M-F, day program as an out-patient. I done gone got my brains brokin' again! It's just a 2 week program so hopefully they'll give me a good tune-up. Major work stress and drama finally tapped me out. I'm pretty ok with my bi-polar. Always have been aware of the depression part of it for many years and plan for my ups and downs with the seasons. In summer when I'm feeling up I plan for more social activities and I get more things done. Winter time is not so good but getting better every year now and trying to be more social. I thinks a good goal for me is to find a good balance in life. Bi-polar is pretty fun sometimes too...lot's of good natural energy. Bi-polar isn't multiple personalities either. Most of the things I do is to just mess with my friends. I at least keep myself entertained. The same "me" is in there whether I'm jabbering at you like a mental case or if I don't have many words in me. Here's a great resource website for persons with Depression or Bi-polar or other mood disorders. http://www.dbsalliance.org/ mmmm....mental illness...everyone's favorite topic! :)

Death sucks!

Weirdo — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 03:48:09 GMT

I went to an uncle's wake today and yeah death sucks. Not so bad when you are old and sick but it still sucks. No way around that one. His name was Bernard Wittlinger. I do believe in calling out the dead by their name instead of "my uncle", "my friend", etc. I think the greatest way to honor someone is to fully recognize them as an individual and to celebrate them as such. I once told my mother that funerals are for the living. That grated on her Catholic sensibilities a bit. She sternly said "no they're not!" I personally don't care what is done with my body when I'm dead. I'm just glad I won't be around and have to deal with it! ha! I used to joke in the way past that I wanted to be cremated and then have my ashes pressed into pills so all of my friends could have a party on me...literally. Naw, I would do anything that twisted to my friends and family. I certainly wouldn't want any kind of somber memorial though. My funeral would def have to be a party and a celebration. Hhhmm, maybe I'll have my body plastinated and I can be propped up in front of the main stage at all future Chilluminati events. I can become the official Chilluminati mascot. You can hang things on me!

Happy Earth Dance!

Weirdo — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 17:54:02 GMT

I was just thinking about how many people on this Earth have never found the pure joy and bliss of dance. I am so happy that I have found my dance. It has brought me more joy than most anything else in my life. I became alive through it! It just astonishes me that there are people in this world who may never have danced...and I mean funky get down let go of your fears kind of dancing. Those who don't dance because it would be religously/morally improper for them to do so, or the poor who may not have much to dance about or the sick and injured. We need more people dancing not just on one day but on every day, year round and together across the world. Imagine what that would do for the Earth.