Talk about being awed in the presence of Hindu Stan. I was merely a consulting advisor on Sparkle Motion, and he turns out to be the Fucking Yardstick man! It was that super amazing energy of Hindu's and the ability lift from the knees that freed me after getting pinned under that Sumo wrestler while taking side bets at an underground fight club in Modesto a few years back. His bravery at doing so was only overshadowed by fact that it was his $100 that got the sweaty Sumo on top of me in the first place, sore loser. But it was a memorable night, made even more so by intricate series of permanent biting scars on the back of my neck which spell out "Suck it, Larry" in Japanese calligraphy, stupid horny Sumo. I wish Hindu Stan could be my Dad, that is, right after Leonard Nimoy or F. Murray Abraham.

Do not question his commitment to Sparkle Motion. Oh, no...this man is more than just a "Burn Friend." More than just a "Photocopy Friend," he's a rootin' tootin' give me a hard time, beat me at Scrabble, tie me at Boggle, stay up all night talkin' on the phone drinkin' while I cry about boys and whine, make me laugh 'till I piss myself, kind of friend. Who else had ( when unemployed) enough time to have at-length conversations about the fake celebrities we'd collected on Friendster, (Ptuh, ptuh...) "Oh yeah man, I got sawdust...no way! I got Chia Pet."

Who else would give a girl old movie popcorn on her birthday? Yeah...he's alright...he's a old honkey but I love him.

He's hot blooded... check him and see. He's got a fever of a hundred and three. Come on baby, do you do more than dance?

Hindu Stan is the GODDAMN! keystone of sparkle motion. Despite his lack of appendixes, he's still the best GODDAMN! bud-drinkin', backslappin', I got yer ass, even when it's hanging out in the air cuz you got yer head in the bucket friend you'll ever have. GODDAMN!!!!

I SAID GODDAMN!