narrative
Shat Karma
Sat, March 24, 2007 - 12:42 PM
Om
Sat, March 24, 2007 - 12:42 PM -
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Tue, April 17, 2007 - 10:16 AM
Essay
Greetings and thank you for comment. This is an essay that I wrote, reflecting on cleanliness in relation to the kriya. Feel free to further comment or inquire. Peace
A 21 day cleanse 21 days is 3 weeks. I have often heard that it takes 3 weeks to change a habit. I believe 3 weeks is an amazing effort but I know from experience, that there are habits that need more time to change. Life patterns or doshas are carried across lifetimes. Whether one accepts reincarnation is irrelevant, patterns can be traced genealogical; even socially and culturally. I am hot-tempered like my father, like my gender, like my Italian ancestors. That temper has been quelled and tamed with conscious effort, but rears its ugly head with the perfect combination of circumstances. No forceful repression can change anything; I have learned that from how much my stool burned near the end of varisar dhauti. Steaming hot, acid emotions, buried deep; at core. No denying this can make me a better person. Letting it out loud is real, but may just as well instigate blood boiling for someone else (which in turn makes a perfect chain reaction). Transformation and transcendence are possible, with patience and cleanliness. Cleanliness differs from detoxification, but I have learned for myself, that toxicity is equivalent to hopelessness. Previous dedicated efforts to rid my body of self-indulged impurities had led me straight towards why I had chosen them to begin with. My daily patterns and habits had become customary, cleaning was inevitable and it had to begin with my “act”. I knew my role could change, but it would take commitment and healthy distractions. For a number of years this managed. Cleaning my act has been very different from what I understand as cleanliness. Cleanliness has become a deep-seated awareness that pervades all thought. I understand that habits, patterns, acts and doshas innately perpetuate and even a commitment to healthy distractions, can eventually juxtapose being off course. As wonderful as it is to be interested in yoga and nutrition, their application most often has been being implemented from dosha. Cleanliness is addressing dosha. There is emptiness and suffering without cleanliness. I can pretend to sleep for the rest of my life, perform asana and eat well, but lying in bed mentally awake, shall take its toll (being hot-tempered while promoting peace, shall burn its hole). Addressing dosha means to clean away samskara. To actively and consciously decide patterns, fully aware of whatever shall manifest as suffering. There is no way to be clean, ignoring that we make ourselves dirty. As enticing as liberation sounds, letting go of personal responsibility to achieve it, is futile. This body and mind are preciously sensitive and require diligent care to operate in fullness. Without full operational power from this abode, the point is missed and even if “by-eye” success is achieved - suffering is bound to be endured. No part of our entirety can be kept from Divinity. Hold back anything and liberation is un-obtainable. When it is possible to bear it all; to be completely naked (metaphorically speaking) and feel pure, we will find ourselves at home; successfully in bliss. With impressions that bog our mind and residues that clog our body, we can feel like there is no place like home and have a deep burning desire to return. The process of cleanliness is making that return - to walk backwards with acceptance that we have chosen to walk onwards blindly. This is a responsibility that takes dedicated efforts and sincerity. To Change takes time and without patience, exhaustion is inevitable. As serious as cleanliness can sound, it differs greatly from obsession, guilt, shame or fear. Fasting, purging, or controlling ones daily habits to extremes can become patterns in themselves; a cycle of neglect and denial that emotional attachment exists, that cravings persist and this is being human. As helpful and necessary as these practices are, it is crucial to self-observe what the effects are upon the ego. Any lingering desires to belong masked by conceit, judgement and self-abusing inner criticism, will no doubt catch up as regret and sorrow. The walk is long and arduous. Knowing that can open space for happiness to blossom, an opportunity to take the time and enjoy. 21 dedicated days to cleanliness have been awesome. I intend to continue “keeping it clean” for this entire lifetime with no fanciful ideas of where I will end up. Each day is a blessing and even with all the disastrous mentions of impending doom, truly there is no rush. One day at a time, doing our best with what we’ve got. There is no escaping the parameters of karma, nor would I ever need to run from it. Whatever happens is perfection in eternity; no matter what, we will all do what shall be done. I look forward to pancha karma in the fall, perhaps by then vata will be harmonious enough to allow me the experience of vamana dhauti and instead of feeling the burn at quart 8, it will come much earlier and by quart 9, florescent yellow will have dissipated to crystal clear. No expectations of course; just mindful observations – tapas for svadyhaya as ishvara pranidhana! Pranayama and neti pot have effortlessly been welded into my day; eating with reverence and patience are now very possible. I look forward to a weekly warm bath followed by snehana and a morning of swedana. Slowing down enough to get deep sleep is happening gradually; my dreams to write, draw, and teach happily, feel promising. In sincere gratitude -Me |
