My random thoughts......

frozen in Grand Central Station....

CoCo — Thu, 29 May 2008 15:52:35 GMT

http://www.maniacworld.com/frozen-in-grand-central-station.html

Quote of the day...

CoCo — Thu, 29 May 2008 15:19:27 GMT

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference. ~unknown

Finding nervana.....the hard way.....

CoCo — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:40:25 GMT

At first you might think this is scientific speach about strokes, but she actually talks about how beautiful the right side of the brain is and without the interference of the left side, the realization of the energy and beauty we posess given to use by the right side of the brain.....18 min. but worth it....... http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/03/13/when-a-brain-scientist-suffers-a-stroke/?emc=eta1

Thanks....

CoCo — Mon, 05 May 2008 20:17:16 GMT

I just wanted to say thanks to all you responded to my last blog, I really just needed to get it all out and was amazed at how many reasuring and supportive responses I received. It made me feel so good and I appreiciate all of you......

cheese with that whine.........

CoCo — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:08:43 GMT

So, I just need to whine….I am down, pissy and just not happy. The depression has kicked in full force. I know I have a beautiful new baby to ooh and ahh over, but since my post partum sister is being a bitch where you can not do or say anything right, it is just no fun to be over there. She has her mother-in-law there to help otherwise I would be over more, I would never just abandon her, I know she is pumped full of crazy hormones right now, but to justify my side, she is like this when she is not post partum. Anyway, my Dad just had surgery and will be immobile for 3 months, not good for an alcoholic. So I stressed myself out figuring out how to get out there and his wife just has to make things hard. Also, because I am single and have no kids, I don’t even warrant a pick up from the airport, I have to take the shuttle. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but if it was any of the other kids, they would get picked up. In Leslie (dad’s wife) eyes, I have nothing to offer…no kids, no husband. Every year I am never mentioned in their holiday news letter. I feel like the bastard child in her eyes. Before this surgery I was planning on going out anyway as my dad who, had a stoke, over 10 years ago is in a lot of pain and told me he doesn’t know how much longer he wants to fight the fight. So, there I am trying to figure out, is from the foot injury or is it how he really feels. I have been through this before; I respect his decision for quality vs. quantity, but you just can’t drop this bomb and not give specifics. So this is basis for my trip to see my dad. They are not an easy pair to be around, but I love my dad and I am the only one in the family that could handle anything like this. Plus, since he avoids the conversation on the phone, I will have time to corner him and make him tell me what is really going on in his mind. When I say give up the fight, I don’t mean suicide, but just stop taking the meds that keep him alive. His mom did that, I think it takes courage to make that decision and that by the time most people want to choose this option, they are do far out of it, it is too late. So they sit and suffer until death comes on its terms. Like I said, I have a lot of experiences with deaths. So that is how I will be spending my Memorial Day weekend. You do what you need to do for family……..

Baby update....

CoCo — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:24:14 GMT

Mitchell Wallace was born c-section on Friday 8:22pm. 6lbs, 9oz, 20 inches....Mom and baby are well.... Wallace is a third gen. middle name and made my dad cry.....Jen was going toxic but they caught it in time that she could have a spinal and be awake for the birth...the last one, she had a seizure and had general...very scarey. He doesnt look much like his sister, except all the hair....and has the tiniest cry. Aahhhh, I love being an aunt.

well I off to become an aunt again....

CoCo — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:10:19 GMT

My sister had an emclamtict (sp?-) seizure last time, so today, they didnt like the way things were heading so she if off to the hospital and I am off to an interview and then to watch me neice. Send safe and healthy thoughts to my sister and her baby please. I am excited and worried at the same time...... I will up date everyone as soon as I can......

The saying goes with the picture....

CoCo — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:30:10 GMT

An archeological team, digging in Washington DC , has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.

GARBAGE ISLAND....HORRIFYING.....

CoCo — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:16:58 GMT

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2008/04/14/ntm.garbage.island.cnn

Bella Luna

CoCo — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:32:07 GMT

Mystery the moon A hole in the sky A supernatural nightlight So full but often right A pair of eyes a closing one A chosen child in golden sun A marble dog that chases cars To farthest reaches of the beach and far beyond into the swimming sea of stars The cosmic fish they love to kiss They're giving birth to constellations No riffs and oh no reservation If they should fall you get a wish or dedication May I suggest you get the best For nothing less than you and I Let's take a chance as this romance is rising over before we lose the lighting Oh bella bella please Bella you beautiful luna Oh bella do what you do Do do do do do You are an illuminating anchor Of leagues to infinite number Of crashing waves and breaking thunder Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger You're dancing naked there for me You expose all memory You make the most of boundary You're the ghost of royalty imposing love You are the queen and king combining everything Intertwining like a ring around the finger, of a girl I'm just a singer, you're the world All I can bring ya Is the language of a lover Bella luna, my beautiful beautiful moon How you swoon me like no other May I suggest you get the best Of your wish may I insist That no contest for little you or smaller I A larger chance yet, but all them may lie On the rise, on the brink of our lives Bella please Bella you beautiful luna Oh bella do what you do Bella luna My beautiful beautiful moon How you swoon me like no other, oh oh oh ~Jason Mraz

Todays Poem

CoCo — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:50:13 GMT

> For attractive lips, speak words of kindness... > For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. > For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. > For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers > through it once a day. > For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone... > People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, > revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. > Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, > you will find one at the end of each of your arms. > As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; > one for helping yourself and the other for helping others. > > The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, > the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. > The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, > because that is the doorway to her heart, the place > where love resides. > > The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode, but true beauty > in a woman is relfected in her soul. It is the caring that she > lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of > a woman with passing years only grows! It was written by humorist Sam Levenson

End huger with one click....

CoCo — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 15:35:43 GMT

http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1 thanks for finding this site Jon.....

DR Suess speaks from the grave-from the Onion

CoCo — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:30:08 GMT

On the fourteenth of March, in towns nationwide, In every cinema, multiplex, on every barnside, Gleamed another adapting of one of my books, CGI-ed and digitized by another sly crook. Horton, my favorite—look how he's been treated! Stuffed with tinsels and tassels and promptly excreted! The puns! And the filler! The script fees you must save! While I tumble and grum-humble around in my grave. Did you learn all but squat from The Cat In The Hat? Please tell me you fired the prick who made that. I would have stopped writing, maybe sold Goodyear tires. If I knew one dark day I'd costar with Mike Myers. And Oh! Oh, dear! Oh! My poor Grinch, what they've done! They crammed in live-action and snuffed out all the fun! It's icky, it's tacky, it's awkward, it's wrong. The Whos look like ferrets, it's an hour too long. What a rotten idea to spend millions destroying This masterful tale kids spent decades enjoying! But still you keep making them! Just how do you dare? Sell my life's work off piecemeal To every Tom, Dick, and Har'. Why it's simply an outrage—a crime, you must judge!— To crap on my books with this big-budget sludge. My books are for children to learn ones and twos in, Not commercialous slop for Jim Carrey to ruin. Have you no respect for the gems of your youth? To pervert them on screen from Taiwan to Duluth. Even after you drag my last word through the dirt, I know you, you pirates, You'd cut out my heart for a "Thing 1" T-shirt. For eighty-some years I held you vultures at bay, knowing just how you'd franchise my good name some day. Not yet cold in my grave before you starting shooting the first of my classics you'd acquired for looting. Mrs. Seuss, that old stoofus, began selling more rights to Dreamworks, Universal—any hack in her sights. First The Cat In The Hat and then this, that and Seussical without a thought to be picky, selectish, or choosical. So to Audrey, you whore, you sad sack of a wife: Listen close. Pay attention, for once in your life. You give Fox In Sox to those sharks who made Elf And so help me, I'll rise up and kill you myself. No Sneetches by Sony— No One Fish: On Ice— Burn that Hop On Pop II script not one time but twice. Don't sex up my prose with Alyssa Milano… And no Green Eggs And Ham with that one-note Romano! This must stop! This must end! Don't you see what you're doing? You're defiling the work I spent ages accruing. And when it's dried up and you've sucked out your pay There'll be no going back to a simpler day, When your mom would give Horton a voice extra deep, And turn the last page as you drifted to sleep. Instead you'll have boxed sets, shit movies, and… well, You'll have plenty to watch while you're burning in hell.

Wish me luck......

CoCo — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:41:45 GMT

So, today is the day, the anniversary of the loss of a dear family member. So far I am surprised at how well I am doing. Maybe it is because I am working a half day and it will hit me once I get home. Maybe I have finally made peace with it or I prepared myself so well for this day. I have the day all planned out...supports in place...grieving time, ect.....Her untimely dealth left me with so many unanswered questions that have haunted me the past year, maybe I have finally accepted that I will never know all the answers to my questions and that I just have to have faith. What ever it is, I am ready to face this sad day and just remember the good times. Wow, how I have grown.

in rememberence....

CoCo — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:33:21 GMT

Kristina Kay Cade 6.14.1971-3.25.2007 My sister, my friend If tears could build a stairway and thoughts a memory lane I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again No Farewell words were spoken No time to say good-bye You were gone before I knew it And only God knows why. My heart's still active in sadness And secret tears still flow What it meant to lose you No one can ever know. But now I know you want us To mourn for you no more To remember all the happy times Life still has much in store. Since you'll never be forgotten I pledge to you today A hallowed place within my heart Is where you'll always stay. God knows why, with chilling touch, Death gathers those we love so much, And what now seems so strange and dim, Will all be clear, when we meet Him. I Knew you for a Moment

I carry your heart in mine....E E Cummings

CoCo — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:57:24 GMT

carry your heart with me i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) ee cummings

I sang to a birdbath becaus I am AWESOME

CoCo — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:55:35 GMT

This is really FUN….so DON’T SPOIL IT…..keep it going........:-) Type out the sentence you end up with, in the subject line and forward to your friends...also, send it back to the person that sent it to you. Pick the month you were born: > > January-------I kicked > February------I loved > March--------I karate chopped > April----------I licked > May----------I jumped on > June----------I smelled > July-----------I did the Macarena With > August--------I had lunch with > Septembe r----I danced with > October-------I sang to > November-----I yelled at > December-----I ran over > > Pick the day (number) you were born on: > 1-------a birdbath > 2-------a monster > 3-------a phone > 4-------a fork > 5-------a snowman > 6-------a gangster > 7-------my mobile phone > 8-------my dog > 9-------my best friends' boyfriend > 10-------my neighbor > 11-------my science teacher > 12-------a banana > 13-------a fireman > 14-------a stuffed animal > 15-------a goat > 16-------a pickle > 17-------your mom > 18-------a spoon > 19------ - a smurf > 20-------a baseball bat > 21-------a ninja > 22-------Chuck Norris > 23-------a noodle > 24-------a squirrel > 25-------a football player > 26-------my sister > 27-------my brother > 28-------an ipod > 29----- --a surfer > 30-------a llama > 31-------A homeless guy > > Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: > > White---------because I'm cool like that > Black---------because that's how I roll. > Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy. > Red--------because the voices told me to. > Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want > Green---------because I think I need some serious help. > Purple---------because I'm AWESOME! > Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader. > Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars > Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway. > Brown---------because I can. > Other----------because I'm a Ninja! > None----------because I can't control myself!

saying of the day.......

CoCo — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:40:26 GMT

Sorrow shifts its shape but does not go away. ~unknown

rememberance......

CoCo — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:18:43 GMT

So Tuesday I received two items in the mail-An invite to my 20th high school reunion-ick! And some of Kristina's ashes in a baggie, placed in a brown "utility" urn. I can still smell the depressing scent. I was a good time to get them, it will be nice to have part of her with me on her anniversary March 25th. I know she is always with me in my heart, spirit and soul. But there is something about having part of her psycially near me. Unfortuatly, she will be added to my alter with the ashes of other lost ones. I guess that might sound weird to people, hanging on to ashes, but it has allowed me to scatter some where I know they would have wanted to be scatted and really I dont know why else I hang on to them......But in a strange way it brings me comfort. Why am I writting about this, when I really dont have much to say? I guess it has just been rolling around my head and I needed to get it out. In two weeks I will be flying out to her home town...the last time I was there was for her funeral, so this trip will be good, in that I am going for fun, not for a sad reason. Anyway, thanks for indulging my random ramblings........ The picture: from left to right-Mark, Kris's brother, Kris, me and my sister when we were kids. signing off into the cold, fridged and snow filled land, that is Utah. Bleh.

before......

CoCo — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:33:02 GMT

Before a great vision can become reality there may be difficulty. Before a person begins a great endeavor, they may encounter chaos. As a new plant breaks the ground with difficulty, foreshadowing the huge tree, so must we sometimes push against difficulty in bringing forth our dreams. "Out of Chaos, Brilliant Stars are Born"

a friend sent this to me and I liked it......

CoCo — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 18:06:07 GMT

Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take 'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring us joy, hope and love. They are full of compassion and ideas. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

Lulu comes and visits/plays w/Lil' Bit

CoCo — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:30:01 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF4yPr-wK-A

Todays Quote

CoCo — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:28:42 GMT

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." ~ Marcel Proust ~

Spider Dog

CoCo — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:11:04 GMT

a short video clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga9esC5YiV0

This guy had what he thought was a great tattoo

CoCo — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 22:12:35 GMT

until he went to jail