My Blog
the witchless hour
Mon, February 4, 2008 - 3:07 AMwhen i was on myspace, or xanga, i would write irreverent, angstful blogs and to hell with everyone they offended. Really, i wrote some awesome stuff, but its all lost, because myspace is a conspiracy. its all a conspiracy, or else im just a nutter.
what am i really writing about in here? nothing really, because its all too graphic for my poor innocent tribespace audience.
I suppose i really just wish i could reach out to someone in this long dark night, someone who has a voice and can listen (or watch) me speak. Someone other than the ruby eyed tub of lard munching seeds in the cage in the corner to talk to.
I cant call steve again, he needs to sleep, he has work tommorow. Its not fair of me to ask him to speak to me tonight, at this hour. but still icant help but wish for his sweet voice to calm my straining heart. Aching even more just for a soft touch of his hand, a glimpse of his burning forest eyes, just some small comfort to my sleepless agony.
oh my poor dear heart, a panicked bird beating against the cage of my ribs, fighting helplessly against the tethers of my veins. OohHOooHohoohhh my dear sweet Rama.....you are my only comfort in this lonely night.
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Mon, February 4, 2008 - 10:23 AM
I often write out and post when i am feeling angsty. Always feel open to do this and don't worry about judgment. Sometimes in life people will be there to hold our hand and sometimes not. When no one is there that is an opportunity to empower ourselves. To self generate. To refocus our perception of our situation and refuse to let it be a negative one. This is what it means to self generate - it means to find the energy inside yourself to fill up your own heart space. So much more powerful than trying to get others to fill it for you. Another important thing to realize is that feelings will come and go. Imagine you are a pedestrian standing on the side of a rode watching cars go by. Each car with its own person in its own world, isolated from you. These cars are feelings. We can see them, acknowledge them within us, and then watch them pass by without needing to react. This is a key skill to learn and principle to understand. That we can feel without judgment and reaction. You can feel sad without thinking about what it means for tomorrow. You can feel jealous or angry and decide not to react for tomorrow you will feel different. No feeling lasts forever.
Emotions are tools of the mind, the mind should not be a tool of your emotions. |
