HAPPY FUCkING EASTER!!!
YOU BUNNY FUCKS!
My life is an atomic crater...
im ready for a little change of scene..
I am ready to put my toes in the premordial petrie dish that has an evolutionary plethera of Dick nibblers,frogz and volcanic bubblins..
I UP FOR the FROG POND!

Saint Stoopids..commin up
Bunny Jam happen yet? Ive missed it for the past 12 years
Who wants to make some eggs with me and get sick on choclate bunnys? Peeps in the Kalua and coffee?
Im gonna go get some MORE CHICKENS!!!
just to piss off my neighbor..weed out the garden..
Speakin of Chickens..I miss my cock..I love you Chickenman!!
Chickenman hold my hand....
I beleive we are going to marry..
next month..
if we can...

I have a desire to do some Photoart for him as a wedding gift..
i could use a little Pagentry ..
I cant take him there,but I can bring it to him..


I hear The PLAYA is delicious right now...
makings of the perfect pack for crispy dune free bike rides
in about 4 monthes....
SO FROG POND BABY!!
WHOSE GAME?
just a quick sick lil hop over the grade
junnin over easter jack rabbits like sacrifices to
jumpin Jesus on a stick.. that Hippy!
Pack light
slide into the hot springs
for spring..stay and suffer all that beauty..retarded elements..elemental retards..
Beauty Duty?

Then burn somethin off emerging
The Flame RETARD-ED!
burn off our shedding skin
refreshed..anew..
proper pagans in our shiney new flesh..
anointing and rediculous lounging in the
steaming dreaming green pools
of Frogs and fire and snacking on
picnics feast for the gods..
EVOLVED..refreshed
That would be a perfect way to kick it off..


My life has experianced a Holocaust...
Im soooo ready to fill the dead space with living seeds
Ive got no choise ..My shit is e-volving..
Now what do I wanna do in the Chyrsalys?
GO TO FUCKING FROG POND!!!
I know i can maybe ralley up a few rides...
nobody works anymore....
We are all worthless BUMS!!




free time-
Drown myself in Art and make some head way in my dusty carreer
as an artist-jack ass --and lunatic of note.
Im a NONE....a bride ...chaste namaste..
in the quest of baptismal pools..
in the milk and honey mud flats that is spread like Buttah..
Ishtars wilky wet thighs ripe with fertile hints and cunning coosin the canyon Valley of the Mountains of the LuLuLu
we get our BURN on....

Yep Im suckin eggz in soupreme AGONY..
but The pain is the creative flame
GOOD GREIF!!!

Love is always complicated..
I posted a picture of the middle phase of the end result of my disagreement with my man.
We had a disagreement over manythings..slowly brewing into a blow out
I am shattered over where this wound up.
But a mans actions can hurt you alot more than the end result of him beatin your ass.
thats just the black icing on the dark bitter cake of mendacity.
He and I are very close.
but have no social life TOGETHER
He hurts me more by not including me in his life.
Not mixing me with his friends.
Going to them for advise ..when they dont know me..
asking me to be his wife
and not standing by me in times of stress,hardship
not treating me well in front of his best friend and allowing him to interfere..to insult me..to place me last in the moment.
I am expendable.
except when we are together.
He has gone from being fair to being impossible
from being open to being closed
from dedicated to our relationship to being dedicated to himself.
Im concerned for my love
hes self destructive
hes mean spirited and worse
hes become a hypocrit.
hes become unable to stay real,to be able to see himself anymore
or see me.
He was pissed about my guest and
said i was disrepecting him by having this person at my house under my current circumstanses
Over dinner he implyed I should have a disease because of my permiscuity.
I DO NOT SLEEP AROUND WITH OUT MY PARTNER.
he was rude and hurtful..repeatedly
He was being passive agressive for days
he had been attacking my self esteem recently,trying to tear me up.
he has abandoned me to deal with stuff on my own too many times broken too many promices..
I broke mine
I slapped him ,,
while he ranted on about my character...
i asked him to stop,
my period was in full effect..
still attack..
I promiced him Id never get violent with him..and hes promiced hed never hurt me,among other broken words..
I decked him for his mouth
for myself respect
for women everywhere
he was beligerent..hysterical..
He was shocked but I caught his eye with my finger..
Over the slap fight I got in three smacks before he pulled over,trying to trow me out into the street from his truck,When I wouldnt he snapped and beat me about the head and face with both hands im guessing,and then slammed my head into the truck door .
My hair was clotted with blood.
So many of you have come to me with kind words and love..
what I want clear is that I am not launching a pitty party.
I slapped Tim
Tim Griffin hit back. In fact stands by his beleif that its okay to hit back. To hit a woman
he hits harder than I do.
Only because I wasnt hitting him to be bigger-stronger-or tuffer than him.
He has the advantage over me yes,but trained fighter or not..I know my abilities,which were not in need of proving that day.
I love him
but Tim Hits Girls.
He says that everyone he talked to ( no one who knows me) says that
I deserved it.That his loss of temper was rational
Im posting this again after taking it down to go on record.
My point about our love is that its marked.
it had its problems but now
after hes drawn blood...
im sad because hes in a place beyond my grasp
I think WE BOTH FUCKED UP
WE ARE BOTH IDIOTS
be clear I do not except his behavior
We are apart
but that doesnt stop the love.
I am un willing to let him go.
But he is not the focus of my life right now.
I am more concerned with my future,
the future of HEARTH
THE BURNER TRANSPLANT PROJECT
THE AMERICAN DREAM THEATRE
My KIDS
MY FAMILY.
Ive been hurt worse by less
yes ,he could and might do it again,worse ect.
But he isnt my battle or my cause at this time
I am devastated over the dark turn our love has taken
I am sadened and discusted with what is happenening to what started out as being a worthy and amazing gentle man of good intention and honest approach
in his dealings.
I have been hit before,and probably and with a feeling of probable certainity will be hit again.
My mom has hit me harder
but like her in fact he actually repeated the same hateful rant to accompany the beating..
said the dammaging,speech.
Words hurt more
he is desarate
he is lost
and our love is colored by the bruises inside and out.
Comunication has been broken
as my heart
I am at fault for standing my ground
for not codeling
cowering
or caring to behave in the face of
abuse.
I am at fault for being in love with a human,
I slapped his eye bad enough to cause the cornia to bleed internally
I needed stitches for my head
Ive had offers from every one I know and about 20 offers to teach him manners
Thank you ..all of you
let me work some of my issues out but
if I fail at doing the smart thing,
its nice to know that you all have my back.
I speak for love
I speak for all woman
love is complicated
.

Im a sucker and he says in court that he never married me for real at Burningman.....it was as a game..a pretend thing..a random theme camp experiance...
BLOW ME!
I was wife enough to carry his ass for 7 years of sufferage.
im just not myself anymore.
someone amputated my self esteem.
nice guy..
hope I miss him on the next lifetime soul return
loving him is like stepping in poo and tracking it all over your moms new rug unaware....

the goat gloats
and hope floats..
I read last lifes poetry-so
tormentented and proseativily feral..
I was mizrebelian
now Im not
the contrast in my picture
as of late relects a certain bliss
peculiar in its poiniantacy..
Im fuckin happy.
REAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLY fuckin happy!
for the first time in a long time Ive got
it made.
No wishing for a relationship
to get steady
or even out ..
or it will be better tomarrows..upposed to ..
it really sucks right nows..
Im with some one that loves me.
me as me,and wants me aned claims me..
and all the crazy happy crap that goes with the Alchemy package..
yippppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

My poetry was pissy and angry and great..
but i was so in HELL!!
now im not..
haha!
I think ive got something like 23 sketch books
full of addle rattle mizrebelian poetry...
probably about 21 years of lookin for my slice of bliss..
makes finding it just all that much more..
KICK ASS!!!

I want to publish my blather...

Your on like dawn
you break in many colored hues
and cleve the darkness with
sparkling blades of lightness
to penetrate my thoughts
you burst in and thrust thru illuminate and gleam
glare and scortch
and burn
till everything is revealed
no shade no shadow

your a light
that feeds with the strenth and warmth of a sun
in spectacular heat
your a glittering light that blinds
burning images of dazzeling hope
into the starving raving anxiety
that filled the
no escape from the distraction of reflected brilliance
images burned and lingers
and nothing else remains in sight
of previous vision
just the seared tattoo image
of you in my eyes
this burn sets itself
against and into
everything I see or feel
a burn scar of your presence
fore shadowed in mylife
a hypnotic pictured scene

Blind for you
nothing else remains
I blink and when your gone
What has been left is darkness
in the lack of light
flash burn
all brightness dashed-shadowed
light dankly sallowed
the lack of you
so firmly illustrated burned into me
by the void of
your shine
it leaves a strobe effect
Im left stunned and awkward
sometimes jarred and
fumbling in the darkness
feeling around like the lost
like an idiot.

yes, your that cool.