i love this girl. not because she is the aunt of my boys; not because she helped form and shape the man that is my hubby; no, i love this girl because she is the coolest. (everybody my age pees in their pants, it's the coooooolest.) oh sorry. where was i? oh yeah, billie is the kind of person you want to have around if you're ever stuck in an elevator for a couple hours. not because she'd macguyver her way out of a jam, but because she'd keep you entertained with her wry sense of humor and her off-putting remarks that make you chuckle/be offended while you whole-heartedly agree. she has an inner strength and beauty that makes me feel stronger, and she's just so damned fun that i wish she would come up here and visit more. when your back is better, carrie joy, you'd better jetta your little (little? right... and the pope's jewish. no one in this family has a small rear!) ass up here and i'll make you, me, and bobo some macaroni and cheese with hot dogs (turkey dogs for you. but i've been using kosher all beef dogs lately, so no hooves or lips!)

Billie's a wonderfully exceptional woman who I'm VERY lucky to have as a close, dear friend .....the rest of you are just a bunch of whores. All of you, whores. Whorey kind of whores, just whorin' your little whorish lives away.