I normally try to be positive and to have a healthy outlook on life. I try to not be mad about petty things like when someone says something mean and stupid too me or being a know it all. After awhile even with a committed effort I somehow end up feeling suffocated and that it is not allowing me to be myself. That some crucial part of my energy is being held down. Although I've been practising different things and believing in myself to improve I have an emptiness as I always have. An emptiness I've tried to fill with spirituality of one kind or another. Or finding different ways to express myself or of learning different things. I'm really afraid of not making it anywhere with anything and that no matter what I do that what I wish to achieve will go down the drain before it's become anything. Sometimes I don't think this way and I am content with where I am at to some degree. But even in the background I always want to be somewhere else in my life like where I am at now is all wrong. I really don't like feeling so hopeless but I at least hope that this feeling will go away and that there are better things around the corner. That is what I always do. I try to have blinde faith for the future that I won't meet people that will shit on me just because they want to. It's something I can't control yet new age beleifs say that if these things happen then we attract them! Sorry but another persons arrogant ignorance is not my responsibility!