Aahh.. the ever present ebb and flow of emotions. It's currents are strong and I find myself tiring of it's perpetual nature. Exhausting myself again and again with a useless struggle against the pull that takes me further and further into feeling.

I happily allow myself to drift weightlessly in the deep waters of passion, joy, bliss. Bathing in it's sensuality, it seeps into every pore, every crevice of my being. Engulfed in it's warm liquids it consumes me and I let it hold me in it's embrace. I find comfort here and I let go and open to this beauty of connection. ~ A subtle turn in the currents, a shift, a tilt and before I have a say I am being tossed and tumbled in the waves as they bring me in, in to myself. It is in a rush that I thud onto solid ground coming to a skidding halt. Spinning and reeling from the sudden absence of the constant motion that no longer supports me. Nausea, discomfort and fear begin to creep out from the weight of my bones and the heaviness of my solid form. Sadness from the loss of lightness wraps around me and I mourn it's end. ~ Eventually I relax and open to this new landscape finding comfort in the stillness. A new sense of support begins to grow. I find balance and solidity and stand tall in the beauty of my individual form. I learn to dance in this and know safety and joy with this grounding. Bliss finds it footing once again and I delight in the sensation of my toes in the sand. ~ With my back to the sea I don't see nor sense the sneaker wave coming for me. ~ Once again, I feel the sucking pull, drawing me with force away from the solid ground of self and into the familiar encompassing embrace of connection. I overly exert my energy with fancy breast strokes, doggy paddling and side strokes at the joy of buoyancy again before I learn that I can just float and enjoy the ride. Once I find ease with the floating, the inevitable rhythmic cycle continues and I quickly approach the shore of individuation. Again I stumble and crawl on shaky limbs before I remember the pure beauty of the dance with Self .

This relearning is relentless as is the rhythmic pulse. Some cycles are longer than others though with each repeated pattern I become more and more aware of the imprinted memory of the world I just left behind and the resistance and struggle to change lessens in intensity and duration. The illusion of separation between these two landscapes begins to fade away. I start to see that there is no either or, no loss, only changing perspectives to the same dance. This understanding takes form in me and I allow myself to move freely in this flow finding joy and acceptance in this cosmic dance of impermanence.
Let the dance go on.