joined on 05/31/04
last updated 03/02/08
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this is just a jewel that could not get buried in a dead email pile. this letter/email to my old partner and friend marcelo really painted a pictorial composition of what i feel like and project today. in portuguese because it is my native tongue after all. ask me and i will translate it for you.
Vanessa Soleil <ubiquitousoul@yahoo.com>
27/05/2008 13:57
Para marcelo.gorgatti@symrise.com
cc
Assunto Re: Oi
oi mar, que surpresa boa receber esse email seu. pensei em vc nesta ultima semana, nao e' coincidencia...
como estao as coisas e' uma pergunta ampla que poderia ser respondida de milhoes de maneiras. no momento tudo esta' bem, faz um dia lindo de sol primaveril and eu tive um feriado demais. se a gente tivesse comunicado ha' uma semana atras o meu estado de espirito estaria do avesso, mas isso sao aguas passadas. vamos dizer que o que continua o mesmo e' essa minha sede de vida e meu talento nato pra emocoes fortes. o resto e' so' cenario :)
estou saudavel, bonita, bem no trabalho (mais ou menos), estava solteira ate' uns dias atras, agora namoro um musico de jazz. continuo saindo pra dancar bastante, musica eletronica na maioria das vezes, dirijo uma moto Suzuki GS500, vou comecar aulas de piano. o desejo de maternidade comecou a beter na minha porta, mas ainda e' uma ideia distante e sem pressa de chegar. faco analise tres vezes por semana mas continuo complicada da mesma maneira.
ano passado eu tinah ido morar com o meu namorado de 2 anos e meio, e eles me deu um pe' na bunda quatro meses depois da mudanca. foi um senhor tombo, sofri pra caramba mas sai das cinzas me sentindo outra. de algumas maneiras sou uma pessoa melhor, mais honesta, mais integra, muito mais feliz. tenho muitos e muitos amigos que tem tudo a ver comigo e me amam e vice versa.
te mando uma foto pra provar que eu to mesmo bonita :)
e vc, como estao as coisas?
beijos saudosos
van
Wed, May 28, 2008 - 11:31 PM
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As I am not a cat person I am unsure what your feline spirit is up to at the moment as I envision it strolling graciously through the infinite realms of the universe. I do see it on its catwalk, purring and playing, free of the burden of a sick body.
I thank you Dominic, as your passing gives me the great opportunity to contemplate, at least for a minute, the mystery of love, life and death.
My heart consciousness is soft these days; first ripped open by sorrow and loss, now by boundless love, I glimpse at the Spirit and at this moment I feel wise.
Insights come and go, but I pray that this moment's passing flame leaves a mark on my consciousness that yet small may be eternal, like consciousness itself.
This moment is a miracle, a breath of mystical understanding, a flower blossoming from the ashes, and the understanding that the burning down of the temple was in itself its genesis.
Dominic, chatton, I bow to you, as through you the Spirit brought me home and for that I am grateful.
Thu, April 10, 2008 - 10:48 AM
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immersed. infused in music . smoke.
fumaca.
the umbilical cord finally severed.
just mildly bleeding, spotting.
a ghostly memory of the pain,
present but no longer alive.
blues and bourbon set the tone.
betsey smith,
duke,
rachmaninoff:
rhapsody on a theme of Paganini.
i feebly resist, almost, just enough.
not quite,
sigh.
what a dance it is.
like zapping around the city,
silver surfer on a blue bird.
pride and joy
woven in silk and cashmere,
in smiles,
side looks,
piercing eyes.
being a breath,
a sidekick
and a public secret.
it is you and me
dwelling in the deep brown skin
of our ancestors,
in the lightless womb of
Mother Gaya:
the wooden paneled living room,
heat crunked up and all.
i peek out
the heavy blinded windows,
Sycamore Port is fierce and sleepless.
but life is here.
blow the candles,
off the lights.
night falls.
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 11:55 PM
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about me
I absolutely LOVE to be alive, here and now, and I celebrate that at every breath. I am a lucky bitch for being so loved and cared for by a bunch of loving, unique people. I feel beautiful and shiny, and smooth. And if you don't believe me, just look at me and touch me, and then we can talk...
! Sexiest Smile !,
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