The Voices In My Head

Life and Learning

Our Shore (Pete) — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 21:42:39 GMT

I just visited Georgia Tech to talk to them about some graduate programs, and I'm moving in that direction. There's still a great deal I need to figure out before I get there (I have about a year left to get my minor or second-major in Bio), but I'm starting now. It looks like I'm moving toward Bioinformatics or Computational Biology, but that could change once I explore this path a little more and see if it's right for me. Lately, that's been the biggest thing on my mind. When I started college, I told myself that all I needed to do was earn a degree. That's done (Computer Science), and it's done well. I can stop now, and I will have achieved my goal, but I don't want to. Yes, a few years more of sacrifice, but it'll be worth it, at least, that's what I'm telling myself now. I still cannot see the whole path in front of me. The direction of my next few steps are clear, but that's it. I have an idea of where it leads, but I cannot tell the future. I'm sure it'll be much greater than what I can imagine now. It's hard to see that when you get burned out though. I love it, but sometimes, it takes all I have to give. One thing I do not doubt is that I will be good at it when I get there, maybe because I'm good at getting there. That's just the kind of person I am. Sometimes, half way just doesn't work. Another thing I do not doubt is that I'll be able to do some good with it when I get there. That's the goal: Do something good, and be good at it. I know I can support myself too, especially if I go into Bioinformatics (it's in high demand these days). My sister got married this year, and it was a beautiful wedding! She and her husband did a really good job of putting it together. Several of the staff present at the wedding (they see lots of weddings) said it was their favorite. One said "This is my favorite decorated wedding ever." The best part is that they did it themselves, their way (isn't that the way it should be?) So, I'm staying in town this holiday season and getting geared up for next semester. It was good to see every one at once, but I'm all traveled out at the moment. When I have something a little more from the heart to blog, I'll post it. Until then, I'm still alive and still doing what I do best: explore the world and try to learn something about it!

Shifting Seasons, Shifting Life

Our Shore (Pete) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 20:43:12 GMT

It's that time again...spring fever time. It's the hardest part of the year because it should be the most pleasent. It's easier for me to focus on school, work, and managing life when it's cold and dead outside. Now, all I want to do is frolic in the sun, play poi in the park, and tramp through the woods. I am reminded of the shifts in my life and where it is leading me. It's funny how people change. I once worked mundane food service jobs and envied those with real jobs. Now I have a real job and wish I could toss pizza for a living. I realize that my mind is constrained and exhausted. I feel it wanting to reach out and explore, but it's tied down by work and school. I need to do something different, at least, for a while. If I push myself hard for a little while longer, I can be finishing my degree (Computer Science) this time next year...just in time for one more spring fever. Where life leads me from there, I do not pretend to know. I am setting myself up to be free of certain restraints, such as debt, so that I can move with it. We all get stuck in a rut. It's like we are on a wheel, but we can't see through it because the rest of the world is spinning around while we try to balance in our routine. It's hard for me to imagine what life will be like living freer than I am living now. Where will I be? What will I do? How will I support myself? Those are scary questions to ask, but I will just have to figure it out when I get there. It's very possible that I will be fighting to get on my feet again in a whole other way, but it's time to catch a new vibe. I know that in those tough times when I would be tempted to wonder why I didn't become a well paid computer nerd, I won't have to wonder. I am living that experience now. Also, I may get out there and decide that computer work isn't so bad. Then, I won't have to wonder why I didn't do something else instead of sit behind a computer all my life. It's my mid-life crisis insurance policy...live now, share many experiences with others, and let the rest fall into place. I have to wonder how I am going to look back at this time as an old man. Will I see a youngster eager to get out and taste the world, or a smart kid making a great shift in his life? I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Until then, you'll find me frolicing in the sun, playing poi in the park, and tramping through the woods!

Unexpected Encounters

Our Shore (Pete) — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 14:53:16 GMT

Yesterday (Sunday), I went to get lunch. I called a few friends, but they were either not there, busy, or out of town, so I went to eat alone. Behind the restaurant was this old concrete stairway leading up a hill. I followed my curiosity to see where it went. Underneath, there were three homeless people. Of course, they asked me for a few dollars, and while I never give out money, I gave up the three dollars in my wallet. I hardly ever give them money after a 'hungry' homeless guy refused a meal to feed him and his 'family' (he just wanted what was in my wallet). I talked with them a bit, and one of them was pretty down-to-earth. I heard stories about how the police and the city harass the homeless. In 2003, Mayor Shirley Franklin prohibits feeding of homeless people in public because it poses a "health hazard"...what, more hazardous than starving? A while back, some nuns got arrested for ignoring the order and giving food to hungry people. It makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with this country. As rich as America is, we can do better than this. We can't solve the problem because there will always be homeless and it's their choice to live that way. I don't pitty them, but I do have compassion. We may not be able to fix it, but we, as a country or as human beings, can do better than this. As I left, they asked me to bring them any blankets or jackets that I found for the cold winter ahead. After eating, I ordered some food to go and dropped it off to them. Then, I went and found some jackets at a thrift store and some inexpensive fleece blankets for them. I won't give them money, usually, but I'll give them food and clothing. I was left with a strange feeling afterward...not pious, but sad, and mad at the nature and sickness of people. I'm not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, but the whole experience started to make me think. I remember now that I am here for a reason and I am here to do something...anything to make this world a better place to live in. Whether by nature or by my own choice, it is what I am here for. It is my choice to follow it. I have felt that way for a long time (since my early teens). While some have dedicated their lives to destroying the compassion and humanity we have left, some one has to balance it out. I'd like to believe that things happen for a reason...that what is meant to be will be. I have to wonder if I wasn't meant to be there at that time alone...all my friends in town were busy. I had eaten there before, but never noticed the stairway. Would I have followed it if not alone? Maybe the experience is a reminder. Maybe it's by chance and I see it this way in order to justify a feeling...it doesn't matter. Whatever it is, I have to choose what I am going do with it.

A Video

Our Shore (Pete) — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 12:27:22 GMT

Here's a quick 1 minute video of me spinning fire at a drum circle: http://storeandserve.com/download/535703/Drumcircle10-21-06_051.avi.html I didn't relize any one was filming until this ended up on the Internet...funny how that happens. Sorry about the lighting...it's kind of hard to see. There was almost no ambient light.

A Memorial

Our Shore (Pete) — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 19:16:23 GMT

I took a moment before bed last night to remember 9/11, and something occurred to me... On the aniversery of 911 We remember those who died Those who were close to us Friends and family Such unfortunute events So many lives lost None deserved death They are in our hearts forever May we extend our sympathies May we feel a moment for the world Through our memories of those close May we find compassion for all There are many who suffer Many who have lost loved ones Though we cannot pray for each We can pray for all

Wisdom From The Dead

Our Shore (Pete) — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 11:58:36 GMT

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty, If your cup is full may it be again, Let it be known there is a fountain, That was not made by the hands of men. There is a road, no simple highway, Between the dawn and the dark of night, And if you go no one may follow, That path is for your steps alone. The Grateful Dead - "Ripple", from the "American Beauty" CD.

Be the peace in your life

Our Shore (Pete) — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 11:38:48 GMT

Be the peace in your life While the ocean of chaos crashes against you Let it not move you Be the joy in your life While the skies rain down sorrow Let it not saturate you Be the love in your life While fires of hate burn around you Let it not consume you Be the light in your life While the darkness of fear surrounds you Let it not blind you

Finally on Tribe

Our Shore (Pete) — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 13:44:13 GMT

So, I have been hearing about Tribe for a while now and I finally decided to sign up. It seems like a pretty cool people networking site. I have lots of great friends here, so I hope to use this to keep in touch with them as well as meet some new interesting people. School is out until January, so I have a little extra free time, at least, there is not much that I have to accomplish at this moment. In January, I'll have a new semester and a new job to deal with, so life is going to get a little crazy. Right now, I plan on enjoying the rest of this year and New Years as much as I can.