This one time, at theatre camp, Bridget was my handmaiden and she helped me get undressed, and it was hot. And people watched. Bridget eats waffles with glee and she talks about sex a lot. But so do I. So sex-talking is good and makes me happy and so does Bridget. Cause she's like a warm cookie. That's what she tastes like. I should know. I've eaten cookies.

Once, I grabbed Bridget's boobs. She said she wished she had friends like that growing up. Then she was drunk and didn't remember it.