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Funeral Procession Stops at Burger King on the Way to the Cemetary

It seemed silly at first but the more I thought about some of the crazy "final arrangements" people make, I thought "Why the hell not?" The family spared themselves the trouble and expense of laying out a buffet for the price of forty hamburgers.

www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01...er-funeral/
Sat, January 26, 2013 - 9:18 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Gay Couple Sues after Baggage Handlers Defile and Display Their Dildo


www.trutv.com/library/cri...o/index.html

Gay couple Christopher Bridgeman and Martin Borger returned from their pleasant Costa Rican vacation on May 21, 2011, via Houston, Texas, landing in Norfolk, Va., and went to retrieve their checked luggage. Their suitcases were undisturbed in Houston, where they had been unchecked for customs purposes, and then rechecked for the last leg of the trip. According to the petition filed in Harris County Texas on August 24, 2012, on arrival at the baggage claim area, the couple found that their “private sex toy had been removed from one of their bags, covered with a greasy foul-smelling substance and taped prominently to the top of their bag.” The couple experienced “extreme shock and horror when they observed the above-described bag and when observing the surprised and/or laughing faces of numerous onlookers in the baggage area.”

The couple is suing the carrier, United-Continental, for the actions of its employees, who according to the Bridgeman and Borger “searched through the plaintiff’s private items contained in their bag with no feasible basis, removed the sex toy, defiled the sex toy, and taped it on display with the intent to inflict extreme emotional distress and anguish upon plaintiffs. According to the suit, they succeeded, and the couple is suing for damages for mental anguish caused by invasion of privacy and negligence on the part of Continental’s employees during the performance of their duties.
Thu, August 30, 2012 - 8:54 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

Zombies Cream Westboro Protest




Anti-gay protesters at military base get undead surprise
By Mary Papenfuss, Newser Staff

Posted Jul 29, 2012 11:36 PM CDT | Updated Jul 30, 2012 12:01 AM CDT

STORY
< www.newser.com/story/1510...rotest.html >

(Newser) – It was the afterlife vs. the undead: Protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church encountered a protest of their own on Friday. Ersatz zombies organized on Facebook to counter Westboro's appearance at the Lewis-McChord joint military base south of Seattle. Some 300 zombies and supporters easily overran the paltry eight protesters in the Westboro crew, reports KIRO-TV.

"I think that their message is very hateful, and Jesus was not a hateful person. He loved everybody," said a "zombie." It's not clear why the conservative Kansas church specifically targeted the Washington base, but church protesters have regularly been demonstrating at veterans' funerals, saying the deaths are God's retribution for American tolerance of gays. No one from either group was arrested.
Mon, July 30, 2012 - 9:17 PM — permalink - 1 comments - add a comment

Why do we say...

"Take a shit" when it is more accurate to say "leave a shit" or even "give a shit"?
Sat, November 26, 2011 - 2:46 PM — permalink - 1 comments - add a comment

...shopping days till Christmas

The Meadowood Mall in Reno ( www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx ) has no fewer than three shops that deal primarily in sunglasses--in the Northern Temperate Zone in November. There is not a single art supply dealer. There is a Sears, a JC Penney and a Macy's. There is a lot of square footage of retail space and as nearly as I was able to determine, there is not a drop of ink for sale in any of those square feet. Not only is there no ink in the Meadowood Mall; there is no ink for sale at Staples!

The sort of ink I was seeking comes in little bottles. It is made by Schaeffer and Mont Blanc and Waterman and Parker (if they're still around) among others. There was a particular brand I used for calligraphy because it was recommended by my instructor.. People use it to fill fountain pens or ink wells.

I enjoy visiting Carter Brothers hardware store more than the mall. It's much smaller but they have a diversity of goods that can not be matched by the mall.

Shopping would be a more enjoyable experience if retailers didn't think it was their job to tell me what I want. I thought the jewellery department at Macy's might have some fine writing instruments (and ink for them) but I was mistaken. (I know we call it "jewelry" in America but that spelling never seems right to me.)

At least I was able to find the makings for a proper Manhattan according to my late Aunt Anna's "2-4-6-8" recipe. Each number specifies how many parts of maraschino cherry juice, rye (or Canadian whisky), soda, and sweet vermouth are to be used. I can never remember which number belongs to which ingredient but I keep adjusting until it tastes right. Add a shot of bitters. It's best when blended a couple hours ahead of time and left to "marry" in the refrigerator but I haven't time for that.

I stopped at Mary See's Candy Shop ("A Happy Habit") and got mail order forms for Christmas gifts. I must remember to avoid malls and department stores until at least Boxing Day.
Sat, November 5, 2011 - 9:24 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

What a world!

I looked up a guy named Lyle Monroe because I saw his image on a website and thought he was goodlooking. It turns out he believes he is a 500 year old vampire and broke into a woman's house with the (unfulfilled) intention of sucking her blood.

In other news Andy Dick calls Howard Stern a money grubbing Jew. I wonder what Mel Gibson thinks of that.

In Loma Linda police found two dozen stolen tombstones in a suspected meth house. What the hell?

Google news will bring up these stories if you want to read them. As for me, the world was a simpler place when my periodical reading was limited to "Highlights" magazine. I'm going on a news fast for a while.
Thu, August 18, 2011 - 9:49 PM — permalink - 0 comments - add a comment

"Shocking" Fetishes

www.cbsnews.com/8301-50476...391704.html

I would have thought the people at CBS got around more. Most of the things they list I first learnt about by reading the classified section of the Free Press when I was in my teens. The others I recognize by first or second hand experience.

You'd think a story on shocking fetishes would have some reference to electro stim.
Mon, July 25, 2011 - 1:09 PM — permalink - 1 comments - add a comment

Like Dolly Levi returning to Fourteenth Street...

I'm back.
A series of life changes, computer failures and frustration at Tribe's frequent outages caused me to lose track altogether until I found a friend invitation in my mailbox. (Thank you, George!) So here I am again, older but perhaps no wiser.

(Two great Dollies with Jerry Herman. Pearl Bailey(L) and Carol Channing.)
Sun, July 10, 2011 - 7:01 PM — permalink - 2 comments - add a comment

Gay teen worried he might be Christian:


LOUISVILLE, KY—At first glance, high school senior Lucas Faber, 18, seems like any ordinary gay teen. He's a member of his school's swing choir, enjoys shopping at the mall, and has sex with other males his age. But lately, a growing worry has begun to plague this young gay man. A gnawing feeling that, deep down, he may be a fundamentalist, right-wing Christian.

"I don't know what's happening to me," Faber admitted to reporters Monday....

full story at:

www.theonion.com/content/n...e_might_be
Fri, February 5, 2010 - 1:07 PM — permalink - 1 comments - add a comment

Why do we say "false pretenses"?

Are there other kinds of pretenses?
Fri, January 15, 2010 - 8:20 PM — permalink - 1 comments - add a comment
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